This week, I didn’t eat my earrings. Twice.

I mean, I came close but I didn’t actually swallow them.

You see, sometimes when I’m in a hurry, I’ll grab some studs and my daily vitamins and drop them in my pocket or throw them in my purse as I’m running out the door.

Out of habit, I will grab those little entities and throw them in my mouth without focusing on exactly what they are. Just assuming they’re some hair vitamins or some turmeric (for my trick knee…story for another day). Shortly thereafter, here comes the water to wash them down and BAM that’s all she wrote.

This is actually an x-ray of a dog, but you get the idea. Picture from Doggy Stuff

This is actually an x-ray of a dog. But you get the idea.
Picture from Doggy Stuff

I’ve googled a bunch of stuff and read WebMD articles trying to prepare for the day that I eat my earrings…because I feel that it is pretty inevitable. I’ve learned that people with tongue rings swallow them all the time. And apparently, they don’t die. So I’ll probably be okay.

So anyway, this week I didn’t eat my earrings…twice. Crises averted. Everybody go back to what you were doing.

Until next time…

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About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
This entry was posted in Funny, humor, Life and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to This week, I didn’t eat my earrings. Twice.

  1. Now Girl you are entirely too much in a hurry…slow down sweetheart and smell the roses.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. hermitsdoor says:

    I suspect, with your description of how you collect yourself to get out the door, that you often end of at work, dinner, theater, etc. wearing two different earrings. However, I also suspect that you can pass this off as a funky-fashion statement. How are you with socks?

    Liked by 1 person

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