I can’t be the only one…

I can’t be the only one…

pict105

It could all be so simple…     Image via spunkmeyer.com

…who doesn’t like a whole lotta stuff in their stuff.  What happened to the days of the banana nut muffin? Why these days do folks offer you gluten-free, dairy-free, banana nut quinoa encrusted kale chips with a dash of bunny ears, the tears of a virgin, the roasted armpit hairs of a billy goat, a hint of blueberry mustard and liquefied dandelion liver topped with crushed tortoise shell and a sprinkling of white chocolate coated fingernails? Please don’t come to me with that sh!t. You will get your feelings hurt.

I can’t be the only one…

…who had to take an involuntary break from blogging because I could not remember the password to my account but tried so many times that it locked me out because it thought I was a hacker.

I can’t be the only one…

…who refuses to make more than one trip from the car to the house when I come home from the grocery store. Whatever ain’t got in the first trip ain’t gon’ get got. But it usually all gets got because…

Image via pixgood.com

Image via pixgood.com

I also can’t be the only one…

…who had to institute a rule that all the groceries have to go in the passenger seat or floor because if I put stuff in the trunk, I will forget that it is there. One would think this would be very hard to do, but one would be wrong! You don’t realize that you left groceries in the trunk until the next time you go to the trunk to put groceries in there, and there is already a ton of stuff from the last time you went to the store.

I can’t be the only one…

…who goes to sleep so they won’t eat anything else. Like that is the only way to stop eating, just go to sleep. I can’t stay awake and not eat. It is terrible.

I can’t be the only one…

…who gets heartburn from drinking a glass of water.

I can’t be the only one…

…who cringes every time I hear somebody say “flustrated”. You’re either flustered or frustrated. You’re not flustrated because there is no such thing.

I can’t be the only one…

…who just looked up  “flustrated” in the dictionary….and it’s there.

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I can’t be the only one…

…who cannot stand when I’m under the dryer at the salon and nosy people try to read what I’m typing. The last lady that looked at my computer screen while I was typing…well…they still haven’t found her body.

Until next time…

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About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
This entry was posted in humor, Life, Life plans, lists and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to I can’t be the only one…

  1. Cindy says:

    Hmmm….this could be a great party game. I thought I was the only one who tries to avoid putting groceries in the trunk for the very same reason as you. Also, I do whatever it takes to get all my groceries inside in one trip.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are lucky to have three little helpers to bring groceries inside! These are the woeful tales of a single woman, lol!

    And also YES this would be a great party game! I think the next time I have dinner with friends I will suggest this…though it could get pretty rowdy so maybe this is a better at-home game!

    Like

  3. 1heartle says:

    Yeah to the password thing. I wrote an awsome comment but lost it while trying to reset my password. then Alzheimer’s kicked in and it slipped away again

    And the quinoa thing. I have to eat GF, but preserve me fro the quinoa plague. Call in the locusts!

    GF anything (except Fritos) is pretty bad. Spare me the GF carbs and pasta. Just don’t put flour in my chilli.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m trying this new mason jar project to save time and $$ by bringing my lunch to work. I was up making a whole lotta quinoa and brown rice last night to layer in these mason jar salads. I can’t seem to cook it quite right…it always seems to be too firm, no matter how long I cook it or how much water I use.

      As for pasta, I use whole wheat pasta for most things, but I don’t know about GF.

      Thanks for stopping by…it was good to hear from you!

      Like

  4. rp1496 says:

    These new restaurants adding everything under the sun to simple things makes me angry! I’ll take a blueberry or chocolate chip muffin and be done. My blueberry muffin does not need edible pansies, and unicorn tears.

    Liked by 1 person

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