1) When playing Scrabble SLAM with the fam….wait…don’t play Scrabble SLAM with the fam. And if you decide to, don’t start the game with words like “jump”. Or “very”. Because you can only change one letter at a time, you will be very limited in the new four-letter words you can create. You will wind up sitting there for hours playing a game that you were initially very excited to play and now you’re stumped and bored and annoyed cuz you can’t think of anymore words so you just decide to get another plate of food. I mean, you’re at the kitchen table so why not? Actually, Scrabble SLAM is hard regardless of what word you start with. You wind up bending the rules and allowing ‘words’ like “atim” or “wint” to pass cuz you’re just sick of the game and want it to be over. But also, and this is the more likely circumstance with me, whoever you’re playing with put those words down and were super serious and thought they were real words and you were laughing so hard that you’re incapacitated and meanwhile they SLAM all over your azz and you lose cuz you’re sitting there laughing. There is also a possibility that you will use an abundance of words that may or may not be legit words like “puke” and “barf” because you’re that desperate.
2) Your parents may be hipper than you think. One of my parents gave the other a gift and the tag read “To: Bae, From: Bae” on it. I may have even seen a tag or two that said “To: Boo, From: Bae.” #iDied. They’re clearly more hip than me cuz they use words like “bae” and I still use words like “hip”.
3) Crazy country cuzzins gon’ crazy country cuz. I can’t even type out the conversations I had with them foolz. Same conversations that I have every freakin’ year. Just read THIS. Then print it out and make them read it. PLEASE!
4) If you have Indian takeout the night before your flight out for the holidays, TAKE THE TRASH OUT! Or you will have a very unpleasant surprise when you return home.
Any lessons learned from the 2014 holiday season? Did you make resolutions for 2015? Share with me…
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