I’m sitting here with a mouthful of butter

Today is the four year anniversary of Magnet for Foolishness…get excited! I thought my 100th post would coincide with this anniversary, but something I wrote elsewhere went quasi-viral (is that a thing?) so I decided to post it here, too, last week. That turned out to be my 100th post. Who knew? But now that I think about it, if you count the handful of bad posts I deleted from the site, this is probably number 104ish so whatevs.

I thought I’d challenge myself to a new activity. The result might not be anything terribly spectacular or even different from what you’re used to reading here, but is something that may help me grow as a writer. You know, become less verbose. Less garrulous. Less loquacious. I could go on and on, but that’s part of the problem. The challenge is to finish this post, soup to nuts, during the time it would take an egg to boil (that is usually about 7 minutes for me). I read about people doing this all the time and I am fascinated by folks who possess the ability to not be long-winded. So here goes…wish me luck! I gotta log off to go to work anyway.

(Ok, so I’m cheating a little because I found the picture before the time started and I also have to say, “Like” me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/magnetforfoolishness and follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/foolishmagnet now so it doesn’t count against my time. I’m dropping the mic at 7 minutes so here goes…)

Artisan bread will murder your mouth. It is delicious, but still murderous. Image via whataboutpie.blogspot.com

Artisan bread will murder your mouth. It is delicious, but still murderous.
Image via whataboutpie.blogspot.com

I bought some cranberry walnut bread from Costco the other day that was really good but I feel guilty for buying it. I need fewer carbs in this house. It was one of those fancy, round, hard loaves of bread. I was probably supposed to keep it crusty, but I didn’t want to break my mouth so I nuked it for a few seconds. Then I put butter on it. Probably shouldn’t have but the lady in the store who was handing out samples did, so I did. But the butter didn’t melt for some reason. It never melted. So now I’m sitting here with a mouthful of butter. That was not the plan. If you do not want to contribute to my Grill fund (if you follow me on Facebook or Twitter you know what I’m talking about), please contribute to my lotion warmer fund. That would be so clutch right now! Friends don’t let friends use cold lotion. I LIVE for Movember. I wish every month could be Movember! But then I googled Movember to make sure I understood what it was and found it was only for mustaches! They explicitly say no beards and no goatees! WTH?! I’m so over Movember. I got a flu shot yesterday that went well until I passed the mirror and saw the bandage that reminded me I got a flu shot. Now the whole right side of my entire life hurts. I mean, my whole life is throbbing. I almost wonder if it would have been better to just get the flu? I’m glad I type fast. I like when people say the word “conundrum”…it makes me giggle. My remote control broke. It somehow de-programmed itself and is no longer compatible with my TV. And I honestly can’t figure out how to work the TV without the remote, so I think I just want to move to a new house. I’m taking next week off. I hope everybody has a Happy Thanksgi

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About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
This entry was posted in Comedy, Funny, humor, Life, Personal, random, stories, thoughts and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to I’m sitting here with a mouthful of butter

  1. rp1496 says:

    Congratulations on your anniversary!! This post tickled me this morning for various reasons, but most of all because I read it in your voice.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. hermitsdoor says:

    7 minutes? I’d need 70 to write most posts. Enough said, right? I’ll enjoy your next 100 posts, regardless of the time spent on composition.
    Oscar

    Like

    • I appreciate your support, Oscar. And I enjoy reading your comments as much as you enjoy my posts.

      Like

      • hermitsdoor says:

        So, what are you doing up at 6 a.m. looking at blog comments? Boiling your eggs? I gather that you were not at the Caryle Gand last night sitting on a bar stool looking for Mr. Right. But, that comment would imply that I had biased expectations of single women, assuming that they were thereby eligible and needing somethings. Oop, eggs are done. (You can asked why a married guy and his wife were up at 5:30 reading blogs)
        Oscar

        Like

  3. Pingback: Kickin’ it With My Homies – The Foolishness Chronicles, Part 4 | Magnet for Foolishness®

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