My Cuffing Season Story

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, “cuffing season” is upon us once again. I know this topic is played out for many, but there are others who are just now learning about it. Stories about its meaning and origin have made the news a lot lately. No lie! They had a special segment with a “relationship expert” and everything on the D.C. morning news last week. Real talk. Did anybody see it?

Urbandictionary.com defines cuffing season as follows:

“During the Fall and Winter months people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be “Cuffed” or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.”

This 'calendar' is from lessonsfromhappyhour.com. From 2011, but still very accurate (and funny) in 2014.

This ‘calendar’ is from lessonsfromhappyhour.com. From 2011, but still very accurate (and funny) in 2014.

So here is my story.

I’m used to the out-of-the-blue “Sup Lady?” or “What’s New?” texts or e-mails as soon as it gets cold. This year has been no different. I think cuffing season started a little later for the east coast this year because we’ve had a mild Fall. The first message came last week from someone I didn’t know who found me through a social networking site. It went a little something like this…

“Hey.”

[Note: There was a four-day gap between the initial “Hey” and the follow-up “Hey” because I was waiting to see if there would be more, you know, meaningful engagement. There wasn’t.]

“Hey.”

“How are you?”

“I’m great. And you?”

“I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“No, you’re not. Is there anything in particular I can help you with? Or are you just being friendly?”

“Well actually I just wanted to say “hello”. I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“Well “hello” back! And no, you’re not bothering me!”

“Ok. Thank you.”

“….” –> [I thought this was the end but it turned out to be another two-day gap.]

“Well honestly I saw on your profile that you work at the DMV and I wanted to talk to you about getting a license. I’m here on a Visa (B1 and B2) and nobody else has answers to my questions.”

“Ok. So. I don’t actually work at the DMV, I work and live in the DMV. DMV = D.C., Maryland, and Virginia. Not Department of Motor Vehicles.”

“Oh ok. I did not know that. I am new to this area.”

“No problem. Now that you’re here, you’ll hear that term a lot. Good luck to you!”

“Thank you. I’m really sorry that I bothered you.”

Ok. So yeah, no. Not a cuffing season story at all, actually.

Until next time…

“Like” me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/magnetforfoolishness

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About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
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9 Responses to My Cuffing Season Story

  1. rp1496 says:

    Hilarious…and now the DMV clarification you provided yesterday is clearer to me!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Melody says:

    First off I used to think the D in DMV was for Delaware, and would argue with anyone tif they said otherwise…until someone showed me where Delaware is on a map. Sorry to all those who I may have lead astray with my strong assertion that DC is not a state and therefore could not be included in the acronym.

    Next, I had an alleged cuffing (I hope that I am using this word correctly) attempt on Facebook. Some random person from Chicago sent me a message asking me to smile in my profile picture. When I replied with a Thank You, he asked for my number and wanted me to send him $200 to get the heater his car fixed. Winters are pretty cold in the Chi, he said. I replied that he should probably just move to a place where his heater isn’t needed like Florida or California. I dropped him from my friends list after that so I don’t know what became of him.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love everything about your first paragraph! That is totally something I would do/say and then talk crazy to anyone that tried to tell me otherwise. Lol!

      About the second paragraph, I don’t think dude was trying to cuff himself to you as much as he was trying to cuff himself to your money! That was a weird msg. I’ve found that ppl on FB tend to be a little less crazy than ppl on Twitter, but FB keeps changing its rules so now all the crazies have more access to you!

      Like

    • looooool that first paragraph is everything! Second paragraph is even funnier!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. The cuffing season stuff is real this year. Idk what’s been going on but my phone has been getting too much love lately. Summer where are you?!

    Like

    • I like to keep my social media accounts public and linked to each other since I blog and want to keep ppl engaged. But that also gives the cuffing season participants more access to you even if they don’t have your phone number.

      But as we can see from my post, my last incident wasn’t an incident at all and was much ado about nothing. Lol!

      Like

  4. courtjg says:

    I have been a victim of cuffing season far too often. I’ve now just resorted to avoiding guys during CF…please do not waste my time, sir!

    Also, I just came across your blog. So fun to read!

    Liked by 1 person

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