Kickin’ it With My Homies – The Foolishness Chronicles, Part 3

This time Jesus was my homie. Well…he’s always my homie. But allow me to explain.

It is NOT always as easy as 1-2-3… Picture from

It is NOT always as easy as 1-2-3…
Picture from

Last week while I was at church, I dropped my communion. Not the whole thing, just the cracker (i.e. the body). I was trying to open the package and pulled the plastic too hard. It seemed as if the cracker went flying across the room in slow mo, but in reality it was probably a quick tumble to the floor. It just felt like an eternity. I fumbled and tried to catch it without wasting the grape juice (i.e. the blood) on me or anyone around me. After it hit the ground, I even thought, “FIVE SECOND RULE! FIVE SECOND RULE!” I picked it up and inspected it but, of course, couldn’t bring myself to eat it. It was awkward. I didn’t know what to do. I tried to make eye contact with a couple of the ushers and even tried to wave them down a few times, but none of them were paying attention to me. The window for me to get a replacement closed.

I couldn’t help but think the Lord was trying to exact revenge on me from when I may or may not have grabbed three communions a few months back.  I mean, I reached in to grab one and my hand may have accidentally grabbed more than one. I may or may not have shared with my neighbor. But that’s neither here nor there. Besides, the Lord is not in the business of “exacting revenge”. But I did wonder for a minute…

I panicked. Then pouted. Then prayed. Then partook. In the blood, but not the body.

Have you been in this situation before? What did you do? WWJD?

Until next time…

“Like” me on Facebook:

Follow me on Twitter:!/foolishmagnet


About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
This entry was posted in Funny, humor, Life, Personal, random, stories, thoughts and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Kickin’ it With My Homies – The Foolishness Chronicles, Part 3

  1. Pingback: Let’s talk about STRESS, ba-by… | Magnet for Foolishness®

I want to hear from you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s