7 things I wish hadn’t happened this week. But did.

Image via news.distractify.com

Image via news.distractify.com

1) I cursed my Mom out via text. Not really, but almost. I exchanged some pretty hilarious texts with my Mom one day at work and had an equally fun conversation with her when I got home that night. Afterward, I sent a text to one of my friends that said, “I LOVE my Mama! We just had the BEST conversation. She is SO damn funny!” Only I didn’t send it to my friend…I sent it to my Mama! As soon as I sent it I realized what I did. I was like, “OH GAWD! Damage control! Damage control!” But she was cool. She was just happy I told somebody else I love her!

2) The housekeeper threw away all of the things. You know how you start running low on stuff so you turn the bottle upside down to drain every last bit out of it until you can get to the store to replace it? Well I was doing that with a lotion bottle that I anticipated getting another 2-3 days out of, but the housekeeper threw it away! She did the same thing with a bottle of body wash I had posted up in the shower. I had to use bar soap and baby oil until I could get back to store! #firstworldproblems

3) Did I mention she threw away ALL of the things? So I was 2 days in on a 30-day ab challenge, right. And I had the exercises printed out on a piece of paper that I left in the middle of the living room floor so that I would see it every day and not forget to do it. She threw that away, too! And just like that, the challenge was over. Cuz its not like I can print out another copy or anything.

Image via ourlifeinthekitchen.com

Image via ourlifeinthekitchen.com

4) And apparently told the folks at work to throw away all of the things, too! I don’t know where okra chips have been all my life but they are my latest obsession. And granted, the tub of chips was ALMOST empty, but it wasn’t ALL THE WAY empty. Not quite. The same way you turn a bag of Lay’s or Cheetos up to get all the crumbs, I’d planned to do that with this container of okra chips. Cuz you know, that’s just what you do with chips. How about the night cleaning crew threw my crumbs away! I came into work the next day and was offended and appalled. WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE AND YOUR NEED TO THROW AWAY EMPTY CONTAINERS?! WHO DOES THAT?!

5) My toilet flushed itself. If I was in a public restroom, this would be a great thing. But since I was at home, lying in bed, watching TV and live-tweeting some garbage reality show, and not anywhere near the toilet, the fact that it flushed itself is NOT a good thing. Not a good thing at all. I don’t even know what to think about this or what more I can say. So I’ll stop now so I don’t overuse any more commas.

6) I discovered that I am, in fact, a sophistiratchet.  I might be THE sophistirachet. I think we all suspected this about me, but it was never really confirmed. Well, I wanna go to the Lil Wayne/Drake concert SO BAD. So bad that I’ve been calling the radio station for 4 days straight trying to get tickets. Wanna go? They’ll be here next week.

This image is NOT mine either. I got it from http://flahertyfamily.typepad.com/unique_like_everyone_else/

This image is NOT mine either. I got it from http://flahertyfamily.typepad.com/unique_like_everyone_else/


7) I worked so hard, the underwire came out of my bra.  We’ve discussed some of my bra-related drama HERE. Well one day I happened to glance down (no doubt cleaning okra chips off my lap) and noticed that my underwire had broken free and started its escape out of the top of my shirt! Not my proudest moment, but if you recall I’ve had many moments that might be considered equally as humbling.



Did your toilet flush itself this week? Tell me about it in the comments.

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About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
This entry was posted in Funny, housekeeper, humor, Life, Personal, random, Relationships, stories, thoughts, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to 7 things I wish hadn’t happened this week. But did.

  1. rp1496 says:

    I really hate when number 7 happens! It usually happens at work, and causes increased discomfort, I mean I am already at work…I don’t need under wire sticking me!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m just lucky that I was able to catch it and push it back into place before it came ALL the way out! That could have been very injurious.


  3. hermitsdoor says:

    Hmmm… housekeeper tossing stuff, self-flusing toilet. We are on a family vacation. We had a discussion about assess personality by how someone uses toilet paper… Folders vs Cumplers. I suspect that your housekeeper folds her toilet paper. I’ll let you decide whether to pursue this line of inquiry (I’m sure that would provide a topic for a blog).
    (P.S. I’m a folder, my wife is a crumpler… guess who tosses the nearly empty containers)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Let’s talk about STRESS, ba-by… | Magnet for Foolishness®

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