These are my confessions…Part 1

There are a few things I need to get off my chest. I’ve been walking around holding this stuff in for months (or in some cases, years) and it is killing me. I hope that finally sharing these confessions with you (#NoUsher) will give me some relief.

1) I’ve never been great with money. I mean, literally. I used to confuse nickels and quarters growing up. I finally came to realize that they were different coins by remembering that the quarter was smooth around the edges and the nickel was ridged. Oh wait…

2) I’ve never really been that great at telling time. And because of this, I used to ask for digital watches on Christmases and birthdays. Then my parents got hip to the game and started making me wear a real watch so that I could learn how to tell time. Now, the problem is that I HAVE to have a watch with at least some numbers (some of them can be lines or dots to replace the numbers, but I gotta have some numbers)…I can’t have one of those sexy no-numbered watches with just a face and some hands. I’d NEVER make it anywhere on time.

You and I are both shocked that my face doesn’t look like this.

You and I are both shocked that my face doesn’t look like this.

3) I haven’t washed my makeup brushes since…ever. In my defense (and go with me on this because I recognize that this really is indefensible) I don’t wear makeup that often. So my brushes probably aren’t that dirty by comparison. Yet, I am still surprised my face hasn’t crawled off my face in disgust and disappointment. Every time I think about washing them, it’s at a time when I need to use them. And I can’t do anything with wet brushes.

4) I am selfish. I don’t like when my friends get better jobs and move away, go back to school, or have kids. I don’t like it when they do anything that betters their life therefore taking time away from my time with them. I do not like it because I love them and want to keep them all to myself. I do not want to share. So if you come to me and say, “Guess what?! I just got accepted to the Ph.D. program at Buttface University in a city that isn’t in your time zone with a full ride! After I graduate, I will have my pick of jobs anywhere in the country and maybe even the WORLD!” And I say, “So what am I supposed to do?”…don’t be surprised.

5) The first person I followed on Twitter was Snooki. The second person was Barack Obama. I was scrolling through my Twitter page a few weeks ago and made this discovery. This really makes me feel some type of way.

What are YOUR confessions? C’mon, share with me! They can’t be worse than mine!

(Here’s another confession…I have a lot more confessions but I’m participating in #blogging201 through WordPress and I promised I’d stay under 500 words per post. So I’m cheating a little…Part 2 coming soon!)

 

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About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
This entry was posted in friendship, Funny, humor, Life, lists, Personal, random, wordpress and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to These are my confessions…Part 1

  1. Shonnerz says:

    My favorite part about your blog is that I can hear the posts in your voice. With that said, I just cackled gleefully!

    P.S: I’m sorry I moved away but I hope to come visit soon. *hugs*

    Like

  2. Great post, and one of the things I love about blogging201 is that I’ve found so many interesting blogs to follow – yours is one of them:

    So, quid pro quo: here are a few confessions –

    1. I’m a HUGE fan of Marvel and DC Comics. Okay, this isn’t news to the people who know me, but to those who don’t it’s often a surprise! I dreamt of creating characters as awesome as the Avengers or the Justice League when I was a child. I haven’t achieved that, but I like to think some of them are memorable enough 🙂

    2. I’m EXTREMELY untidy – I can’t help it, and because I’m full of contradiction my writing space (my work) is the only place with any organisation whatsoever. I live in clutter (clean clutter), and only sort through it when I absolutely have to!

    3. Planning makes me ITCHY – it’s not a good thing when I keep volunteering myself for projects that centre on plans and making them. I’m a sucker for punishment. I’m a born dreamer, I can’t help it, and making plans is something I avoid almost as much as tidying up 🙂

    I can think of a dozen more things, but I think I’ve bored you enough!

    Thanks for an enjoyable post and engaging my thoughts.
    Take care
    Mel

    Like

    • Hi, Mel! Nice to meet you and thanks for commenting. I completely understand and agree with #2. I think there is a distinct difference between being “messy” or “untidy” and “dirty”. Dirty is unacceptable. But I thrive in “mess”! I used to be the same way about #3, but I’m getting a little better about that. As for #1, will you be using your blog as a platform to launch this dream of yours?! Heading over to check out your blog now…

      Like

      • I use it as a platform for my writing and one day perhaps my ultimate dream will come true 🙂 for now I’m happy with all the characters in my head – superhero or not!
        It’s nice to meet you too, by the way, and I look forward to Confessions Part 2!

        Like

  3. Melody says:

    Love it! Especially being selfish. If people would just realize that it’s always about me then everyone would get along great.

    I also don’t like when I tell someone I don’t eat something and they try to force me to taste theirs. Nope it’s all nasty I don’t care if it was made by the first person who invented it I don’t want it.

    Like

    • LOL! I agree about trying to get people to eat food they don’t like, though I’ve been guilty of this in the past. If there is a dish that I cook or bake very well (IMHO) I’ll try to convince someone to try my version before they give up on it completely. It’s an ego thing. Also, my ego fully agrees with your ego in that it IS all about me, all the time. I don’t know why that’s so hard for people to understand.

      Like

  4. Mia says:

    I won’t confess anything. Except, I confess I have never read your blog until now.Good stuff 🙂

    Like

  5. J. Sander says:

    I love your blog! You have a great writing voice that feels like you are just talkin with a friend. Great work!

    Like

  6. Torri says:

    Hilarious post P!!! I’m in stiches around about now! 😂

    Like

    • So at least now you know it’s not just you that I do this to! A few months ago, a co-worker told me her husband had gotten to new job on the west coast and they were moving. I was like, “Ok. But I don’t understand what HIS job has to do with YOU.”

      Like

  7. agirlwalksby says:

    I’m technically dating 2 men. One who is engaged (not to me) and one who is a little arrogant but treats me very well. The sad part is that I’m in love with the first one.

    Like

  8. Sumer says:

    I’m dying laughing at #4!!!!! Here is one confession: I have a hard time, being on time. I wake up on time, but the bed has a strange hold on me that won’t let me get up to get ready and get out the door.

    Like

  9. Jodi says:

    My confession (which I added to my about page the other day, so it’s out there for everyone to see now, eek!) is that I’m a terrible procrastinator. I don’t want to count the number of half done projects I have lying around the house! Why do today something you can leave until next month?!

    I like your new look. Are you missing the images from the background? I have to figure out how to grab that 201 class of 2014 button. I saw the link early on but can’t find it now!

    Um, are you supposed to wash make up brushes? ; )

    Like

    • Haha! YES, you are supposed to wash makeup brushes. I was reading another blog last week with a list of things we should always clean during our spring cleaning. Makeup brushes was on that list along with a bunch of other stuff I can’t remember.

      Also, here is the code for the Blog U badge: Blogging U.. Add it as text under your widgets. You can adjust the width and height as you see fit.

      Like

      • Ok so yeah…that actually didn’t work! LOL! I typed in the code and it put the actual badge in the comments. So maybe you should go back to the Commons and ask Michelle W. or one of the tech folks how to do it. Sorry!

        Like

  10. hermitsdoor says:

    I remember reading William Faulkner’s short stories, “Go Down Moses”, I believe, in high school. He had one paragraph that was somewhere around 27 pages long, or at least it seemed. Writing something in less than 500 words? I would hardly be confessing something to say that I’m barely going by 1000 words! When I visited my family recently I challenged my niece (junior in high school and way to bright) to read the 3000 word post I had just put up. She just rolled her eyes when I told I wrote for fun, not because I was getting a grade. Maybe we are all just selfish…
    Oscar

    Like

  11. You’re funny! Great to meet you at Blogher14.

    Liked by 1 person

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