You can’t make this stuff up! – Part 1

As a participant in the WordPress Weekly Writing  Challenge “Cliffhanger”, I wanted to recap my most recent travel experience with you.

So I guess the drama of this trip started while I was still at work last Friday. Hercules had already hit and now it was time to deal with the aftermath. Even though I was traveling in the opposite direction of where the storm hit, I KNEW my flight(s) would somehow be affected. After all, I am me. And I was right.

Sitting at my desk, I noticed that an e-mail from Delta Airlines popped up the exact second that my phone rang from an unidentified number. “Oh no,” I thought. “This cannot be good.” Delta was contacting me to let me know that my flight from Baltimore to Cincinnati would be delayed by an hour. This wouldn’t have been a problem if my final destination was Cincinnati. But since I was going to Memphis, an hour delay out of Baltimore meant that I would for sure miss my connecting flight out of Cincinnati. Together, Delta and I figured out that I should probably fly into Atlanta instead to ensure that I’d make it to Memphis that night.

Hercules could NOT hold me down! Picture via Pronk Palisades at

Hercules could NOT hold me down!
Picture via Pronk Palisades at

The only thing was that my layover in Atlanta was only 30 minutes…so that left NO time for error. My flight somehow LOST time in the air so by the time we landed and I got off the plane, I had 11 minutes to make it to my connecting flight. 11! I thought, “If I’m at Gate B11 and I only have to get to B18, surely I can make it seven gates in 11 minutes, right?” So they open the plane doors and I tear out of the gate! Hercules WILL NOT keep me from making it home for my Mom’s party! So I’m swiftly making my way through the gangs of people in the airport when an employee almost drove over me on one of those carts that transport elderly folks and rich people through the airport so they don’t have to walk. I couldn’t believe it…dude was texting while driving IN the airport! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I’d rather not die in the Atlanta airport cuz then I for sure won’t make it to my Mom’s party! I get to the gate right in time and, with what little breath I have left, I ask a woman standing in line, “Have they already started boarding for Memphis?” “No,” she said. “We’re headed to San Diego. The Memphis flight was delayed three hours.” Great. That’s just great.

I sat down to catch my breath and started watching the CNN coverage of Hercules on the TV at the gate. They interrupted that coverage several times to note that the flu epidemic was getting worse by the day…especially in the southeastern states. In fact, it went from 10 states being in whatever they equate with ‘official panic mode’ to 25 states (now I think that’s up to like 37) OVERNIGHT. And were Georgia AND Tennessee two of those 25 states? OF COURSE they were! I’m looking around the airport at all the people coughing and sneezing when I hear the man sitting across from me yell, “OH. MY. GOD. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! I’m about to record this and upload it to YouTube!” He pulls out his phone. The woman behind me whispered, “Awww. Bless his heart! I wonder if anybody is gonna help him…” I turned to see what all the commotion was about. I couldn’t believe my eyes! I’d NEVER seen anything like that in an airport!

To be continued…


About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
This entry was posted in Comedy, Funny, humor, Life, Life plans, Personal, random, stories, thoughts, travel, traveling, Uncategorized, writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to You can’t make this stuff up! – Part 1

  1. Pingback: At Wit’s End | In So Many Words

  2. Pingback: Cliffhanger: The Red Road® | KnowledgeKnut

  3. Pingback: Weekly Writing Challenge – Cliffhanger | Joe's Musings

  4. hermitsdoor says:

    All that coughing in the airport… now wonder illness get transported around the country/globe so quickly!


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