I decided to take a different approach to setting my New Year’s resolutions this year. I wanted to set goals that were truly realistic and attainable. I know the point of resolutions is to stretch yourself, but some of the resolutions I set in the past were beyond stretching…they were just plain unrealistic. I mean, who really is going to give up saying the word “really”? Soooo, this year I resolve to…
1) Stop lying. I don’t lie about everything, of course, just select things. Things that don’t matter…like, let’s say, checking the mail. Who am I kidding? I’m not going to check the mail more than once a quarter, so I plan to stop committing to checking it more often than that. A weekly or even monthly basis is unrealistic. I’m also not going to stop buying Groupons, like, ever. Unless they go out of business (then I’m sure I’ll find a suitable replacement). And I’m certainly not going to ever stop watching reality TV. I’ve tried and failed many times. I’m not trying any more. As long as there is a NeNe Leakes delivering nonstop shade and epic one-liners in every episode of #RHOA, ya gurl will be tuning in.
2) Start writing stuff down. I come up with some pretty brilliant stuff sometimes. But I forget most of it before I have the chance to do anything with it. Like, for example, my second resolution…I have NO IDEA what I originally was going to say here, but I know it wasn’t “start writing stuff down.” Y’all shouldn’t have to miss out on my genius just because I’m forgetful. I WILL do better.
3) Blink less. I think this will make me appear smarter. And more trustworthy. And should certainly help me be more photogenic.
4) Hug the laundry more. I don’t know what it is about hugging the warm laundry shortly after it comes out of the dryer that calms my nerves. Have you ever tried this? I highly recommend it! Whenever there are moments of high stress in my life, I think, “Let me put some stuff in the dryer right quick.” It is soothing, therapeutic and, except for the cost to use the electricity (or quarters if at the Laundromat), it’s relatively free.
**Disclaimer** Please only do this with towels, sheets, and t-shirts. Because if you accidentally rest your face next to the zipper or buttons on some hot jeans, it will totally NOT have the calming effect you’re shooting for. Also, clearly this won’t work if you’re AT work. And finally, if you’re in a Laundromat, be prepared for people to look at you like you’re crazy.
5) Stop wasting my breath. For some reason beyond my comprehension, I’m regularly sought by people for advice. Career advice. Financial advice. Relationship advice. You name it, and here they come. And don’t get me wrong, I’m always happy to help. But if I spend significant amounts of time with you trying to help you figure out your life problems and you don’t take my advice but then return to me repeatedly to discuss the same issue, I can no longer waste my breath on you. My breath is valuable. So if I ever tell you that you “take my breath away,” please know that this is NOT a compliment! GO HUG THE LAUNDRY!
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to make the same mistakes this year that I made last year…I want to make brand new mistakes! What are your New Year’s Resolutions for 2013? Share them with me in the comments section!
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