Guest Post: All I really wanted to do was see Flea…

Today’s guest post comes from a social media maven (and my lil’ sorority sis), Chandra! Apparently, the gift(?) of attracting foolishness “runs in the family”…

____________________________________________________________

All I really wanted to do was see Flea…

That’s what kept playing over and over in my head like my favorite song by the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ guitarist. Why, you may ask? Well that’s the story, so listen up.

I consider myself a person with diversified ears, having a variety of musical tastes far beyond the latest top 40 hit. Yet a rock concert was still on my to-do list at the age of 29. So needless to say, when a dear friend offered to take me to the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert (I’m a major fan), I quickly agreed.

Sitting in my seat at the venue, I was all excited about vibing to great music and reminiscing over my favorite Californication tune. And then I met THIS guy…

I like to refer to him as the typical “Drunken Reveler”. The guy who probably means well, but his mixture of Tennessee whiskey, Everclear, or both has taken over his ability to be coherent. Just how incoherent? Hmm…enough to ask this list of stupid questions:

1) “So where you from?”

I know what you’re thinking. That’s a normal question. However, what would you do if the question was asked of you 13 times in the middle of your favorite guitarist’s solo set? To top that off, he continued to say you were not from the city you named. This is what that slurring and spitting conversation would sound like:

Reveler: So pretty lady (slurp, slobber), where are you from?

Me: Memphis

Reveler: NOOO…(obnoxiously loud) you can’t be. Where are you from? You from Mississippi?

Yep, I had the same blank stare you probably have right now.

2) “Man, do you like Wu-Tang Clan?”

I have a deep appreciation for hip-hop music and the grimy cyphers and sounds of the Wu-Tang Clan, but did he know where we were? When I looked at him perplexed and simply answered, “They make good music,” I apparently said the wrong thing.

Reveler: (Double slurp, a couple of spit drops) Man, the Wu-Tang Clan is the best that ever lived. Do you like the Wu-Tang Clan?

Me: They make good music.

Reveler: WU-TANG FOR LIFE (obnoxiously loud)! YOU DON’T KNOW MUSIC. I NEED TO TEACH YOU MUSIC.

Once again, I blank-stared like you are doing right now. I noticed that his erratic behavior was now starting to turn unpredictably aggressive, making me a little apprehensive and my date a little protective. I still managed to maintain my cool.

3) “So man, what they did to Trayvon Martin wasn’t right. Don’t you think that was messed up?”

Okay, seriously dude. I’ve never been the one to shy away from hot topics, no matter how controversial, but was this the place to do this? Trayvon Martin’s life was cut short by ignorance. It’s funny how, although this wasn’t the proper venue to discuss such as serious matter, the correlation of how making an ignorant decision can change your behavior and ultimately affect your life showed up. Imagine if this guy in his altered state decided to make a wrong judgment call like getting behind the wheel of a car or starting a fight with a man half his size. The end result could be the loss of life which could have easily been avoided under the influence of smarter decision-making. Bottom line, we have to learn to do better even in an altered state of mind.

So at this point, with all jokes and giggles aside and a beer in my hand dripping in his spit, I didn’t respond to him and moved down a couple of seats. He got the hint.

Remember, after all, I just wanted to see Flea…

Have you ever experienced anything like this? How did you handle the situation? Share your stories in the comments section.

______________________________________________________

Chandra is a native of Memphis, Tennessee and enjoys sharing her random musings with others. Follow her on Twitter here–>@Absolutely_CT for more of the unpredictability.

Advertisements

About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
This entry was posted in Comedy, culture, friendship, Funny, Guest Post, humor, Life, Personal, random, thoughts, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Guest Post: All I really wanted to do was see Flea…

  1. It’s funny how funny and NOT funny this story was at the same time. (That was probably the most confusing sentence ever.) I’ve experienced situations like this at various points throughout my life and I just have to keep my composure, SMH and/or LOL, and KIM. One time I had a man approach me in a bar and ask if I was offended that they didn’t properly acknowledge Don Cornelius’ passing at the last Grammy’s. I was, but I think I was more offended that he interrupted my meal to ask me that. But looking around at the demographics of the other people in the bar, I guess he felt it was most appropriate to ask ME.

    In your situation, I’m glad at least YOU were sober enough to KIM, because who knows how things could have escalated otherwise.

    Like

  2. Lawd, when I lived in New Orleans, I went through some version of this every Mardi Gras. I always used to lie about my hometown, and the drunk dude who I talked to was from whatever city I pulled out of my azz every. d*mn. time.

    Like

    • Speaking of New Orleans, I’d hoped to be there this weekend for #EssenceFest but my plans fell through. Disappointed. I plan to go to hot yoga tomorrow and just pretend that I’m in the swamp that is New Orleans this time of year!

      Like

  3. hermitsdoor says:

    You might as well forget about the guy… He probably does not remember anything about the concert, but tells all of his friends (as well as some others) about the smashing time he had there. Hot yoga… the way the East Coast is these days, you could just go out on your deck for hot yoga!
    Oscar

    Like

    • I JUST had a conversation with some friends tonight telling them that I could have refrained from paying the yoga studio for that class when I can do hot yoga in my own sun room. My air conditioner’s out again! 😦

      Like

  4. Pingback: Boys and their Toys? | Oh, you little snob!

I want to hear from you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s