Turn-ons, must-haves(?), and dealmakers for the future Mr. Magnet

My favoritest animated movie of all time

I have several friends that have been asking me for about a year to do a post on dating and relationships. Particularly my dating and relationship “adventures”. But I choose to leave the past in the past, and focus on the future. For those of you who keep worrying me (though I know you do it with the best intentions), I decided to write this post to appease you! Since you seem to be more preoccupied with finding Mr. Magnet than I am (I mean, I do have a lot on my plate…like, for example, updating this blog twice a month), I’ve created this search guide just for you!

Please take heed and enjoy because when it comes to writing about dating and relationships, this is all you’re gonna get from me! Some of these aren’t necessarily requirements (R), but they are very strong preferences (P). For your convenience, I’ve delineated between the two. About the future Mr. Magnet…

1) He can correctly identify the movie from which these lines come (P): “I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt…cuz I like to party so I like my Jesus to party.” Here’s a hint—————————————————->

2) He knows how to give a compliment (R). On an almost daily basis, I hear: “How ya doing today, Ms. Lady? You look just as good as ever as you did yesterday as usual as always.” That is NOT a typo. Nor is it an exaggeration. I have eyewitnesses. And please know that I am a woman who recognizes, enjoys, and knows how to accept and return a good compliment. But a compliment similar to the one above is simply exhausting.

3) He can teach me how to Dougie (P). My Dougie is not as good as I think it should be. So if he can teach me how to Dougie (and not laugh at me while I’m trying to learn), he might be a keeper.

4) He has a major sweet tooth (P). My baking skills are improving, and right now I can put my foot in (as we say down south) a couple of different cakes. I’m still working on the pies. A post recounting my baking endeavors is in the works. And sometimes, because I am such an awesome baker now, I only want my own cakes. But I only have a craving for a SLICE of cake. Of course, you can’t bake just a slice you have to bake the whole cake. And I know I could bake cupcakes, but they’re not the same. So I need somebody there to pick up my slack.

5) He understands that I regularly talk about celebrities and public figures in everyday conversation as if they’re my BFFs (R). And he’s okay with it. For example, when I say, “Janet hasn’t been on Twitter in a while…I wonder if she’s okay?” or “Michelle’s new haircut is super-cute! Have you seen it?” or even “Bethenny dresses Bryn in the cutest little outfits!” he knows exactly who I’m talking about. He doesn’t have to ask. And he doesn’t think I’m weird.

6) HE DOESN’T SEND ME TEXTS, TWEETS, OR E-MAILS IN ALL CAPS (P). Not on a regular basis, at least. I understand if he’s in a hurry or if his caps lock is on and he didn’t realize it. No need to re-type because of that. There is a piece of fineness named Lamman Rucker (again, see here) who usually tweets in all caps. But, as fine as he is, I might have to unfollow him. I JUST DON’T LIKE BEING YELLED AT BY LETTERS.

7) He agrees that there is no reason whatsoever to pass horrible family names on to our children. (R). I feel very strongly about this. But this is for way down the road, of course…if and when we get to that point. If his name is Cleophus Aloysius Numbnuts III, PLEASE KNOW that there will NOT be a fourth. No disrespect to his father or grandfather but we are NOT continuing this legacy. I can’t do anything about the Numbnuts part; so I will be a Numbnuts and the baby boy will be a Numbnuts, bless his heart. But our son will NOT be a Cleophus Aloysius. Also, we are not combining names because it is so obvious when people do that…and it never works. For example, no kid named Magneophus. I love the future Mr. Magnet already, but no. Just…no. End of discussion.

Okay, so there you have it. THERE is your list. This should be enough to get you started and off my nerves for a little while, right? Love you! 😉

Oh yeah…I still want FULL audience participation on this one. So tell me: What qualities do you look for (or if you’ve already found your soul mate did you look for) in a significant other? My list is totally reasonable, right? RIGHT?!

“Like” me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/magnetforfoolishness

Follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/foolishmagnet  


About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
This entry was posted in Comedy, culture, friendship, Funny, humor, Life, Life plans, Personal, random, Relationships, thoughts, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to Turn-ons, must-haves(?), and dealmakers for the future Mr. Magnet

  1. RP14_96 says:

    Now you know this list while funny, is not serious!! I expect an actual list in private LOL!! I agree whole heartedly with number 7!! I have serious issues with Juniors and III and so forth anyway…Can we use a part of your name if said name is acceptable?

    The fact that number 5 is a requirement is a bit of a concern…


  2. Cardell johnson says:

    BOUT TIME YOU WROTE THIS BLOG POST (and yes, I am yelling at you in letters ;)! This is hilarious. Before reading your list, I had already made up my mind that I would disagree with your requirements. But actually, I agree with almost all of them. I feel very strongly about #s 4-7-especially #4. If you don’t / won’t eat sweets, we CANNOT be together. And I don’t care if he is diabetic or have any other medical situation that requires him to not indulge in sugary goodness. I put a lot of love and passion in my baking. So for him not sample it (and by sample I mean have at least two REAL slices) is just not going to work. But if he will eat sweets and I bake for him, he better tell me how good my ish is too. Don’t go stuffing your face and not say anything. I know body language / facial expressions say a lot, but darn-it, I wanna verbally hear “baby, you put it down. Can’t no other cake/pie/cookies touch this. You just made me fall in love again.” ok, sorry for my rant. This is not my blog, lol. Other qualities I look for: 1) someone who is handy. I actually know how to do a few things around the house, but I love watching a man build things and use a power drill correctly! Lol. Also it’s nice when he can fix a flat tire without you even asking; 2) adventurous- dont be afraid to try new things and places; 3) someone who will let me be myself (silly, serious, sexy, and occasionally sassy); 4) attractive. I know this is vain and I don’t give a hoot. If I’m not attracted to you it’s just NOT going to work. Like AT ALL. He does not have to have bulging muscles and a six pack (I actually think a small-repeat-small belly is kinda sexy). And while I’m going on and on idlike to say that sexy is LESS about looks and MORE about personality. So please have one and don’t be a door knob! I’m gone!


    • LOL! Thanks for the PG comment this time, Cardell! I am ROTFLMBO at the fact that you were all poised to disagree with my list before you even read it. Gimme a break…you had to know it wasn’t going to be THAT bad 😉


  3. I was so entranced by the Dougie video! Lol. I don’t think my body can movie like that. I mean, I can dance, but um…I don’t think I can do that.

    I agree with number 7! For the love of all that is holy in this world, we do not need more weird named children. Celebrities are doing just fine doing that for their kids. I’m going to stay normal. Well…I mean I’m naming my daughter after a goddess, but that’s not weird. That’s nerdy. Big difference.


  4. Dienna says:

    “How ya doing today Ms. Lady?”

    I’ve heard some variation of the “Ms. Lady” commentary before. It’s like come on—if you’re going to use lame lines use something more original.


  5. hermitsdoor says:

    Good to think though what your criteria are and then temper them with judgment. I’ve known too many friends who got stuck on one items and have suffered since then: “married by 30” (he did and then divorced), “red-headed-double-breasted-bed-thrasher” (he did and she tried to shoot him), “wealthy career option with plans to retire at 50” (she did, but the economy changed their plans and they have nothing in common to share in their retirement), “ski cabin in CO and golf course house” (they did but her arthritis no longer lets her ski black-diamond runs or golf with him), “one, perfect child” (he now works 60 hours and has no time for her, just as her husband never did). I do not want to sound like I’m above such foolishness either, as I had a couple of “practice” marriages. “We’re in love so this is meant to be”, rather flimsy foundation for a life-long relationship when love young love drifts elsewhere. “I have to rescue you from your awful family”, which was fine until she developed a sense of confidence and took her independence elsewhere. My third trial, based on common interests, life ambitions, and companionship has spanned 19 years go far. Oh, by the way, were both over 30 when we met, so past those young adult ideals.


  6. Jania says:

    This was NOT was I expected, but Nothing surprsied me–classic Sonya! Ha But, what about the physical attirbutes? The kids–does he have them and can he stay if they aren’t by you. Of course, I think I know the answer. Still, if I consider my (P) and (R) in the way you mentioned yours, here’s my top….3 or 4 or 5. 🙂 I don’t know how much I want to share until I start to type.

    1-R) I don’t snore and he should be willing to have a sugical procedure if he does 2-P) He shouldn’t be too annoyed if I fall asleep in the movies…sometimes, I just can’t help it and it’s no reflection on the quality of the movie! 3-R) This is a biggie. He knows how to politely, nicely, and gently tell me to SHUT-UP! Yep, I said it. I know I can talk too much and I can be very opinionated, but I LOVE it when a man can calm me…quiet me…without being disrespectful. It’s not easy, but it can be accomplished! That’s enough for now! 🙂 Had to stop at 3.


    • Your #1 could be pretty major. I think there was a time when a procedure to fix a snoring problem was actually procedureS because they had to occur in a series. Now technology is more advanced so only one might be necessary. But I don’t really know. Your #2 is just plain funny and your #3, I would think would make it very easy for you to find a potential Mister! Who wouldn’t want permission to tell their Lady to SHUT UP?! Lol!


  7. Off The Cuff says:

    Past relationships are in past, but they end up being key factors for future relationship navigation.
    “I’m thankful for the past, it was my filter to marriage”.
    Here is how I say shut up, I look at my wife and bite down a couple of times while my eyes give a come on it’s been too long look. It works, accept when I prejudge how the long it will be and give a premature bite, then look out!!!!!
    Chow 4 Now


  8. Sumer says:

    The names, the names ROTFL! You are so correct about the joining of names, it doesn’t work!


  9. Sumer says:

    And I just died at Jana’s #1! I couldn’t even read the rest after that one!


  10. Pingback: 34 Things I Want to do Before I Turn 34 | Magnet for Foolishness®

I want to hear from you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s