A pretty major ordeal knocked me off my game for a minute, but I’m back now. Just barely, but I am back. Leggo.
1) Who decided that the dime would be worth more than the nickel? If I had more time on my hands, I’d craft an argument about how this makes no sense and confuses little kids all across the nation trying to learn about money for the first time and understand why the bigger coin is worth half as much as the smaller one. But I don’t have that kind of time.
2) What is Tumblr and why is it misspelled? And do I HAVE to join that, too? I joined Facebook. Put up some pictures even. I have a semi-operational fan page (like me here) and I even joined Twitter (follow me here). WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME?!?
3) When I sleep in the guest bedroom, why do I feel like I’m cheating on the master bedroom?
(I have to ask another “when” question cuz technically, that last one was a “why” question.)
4) When did it become acceptable for butt naked people in the locker room at the yoga studio to carry on full, in-depth, life conversations? If you’re talking to me, and I’m looking at the ceiling or responding with my eyes closed, shouldn’t that be a sign that I don’t want to talk about…well…ANYTHING right now?
5) Where can I find a support group for people addicted to Groupon? I checked the history of my purchases since I joined and it appears that I buy WHATEVER they e-mail to me that day. So I have (among other things): carpet cleaning services, pole-dancing classes yoga classes, medical treatments for stuff I might not even need (but it was 78% off so why not?), and discounts at several restaurants. I’m trying to make a decision now about some spa services, more restaurants, and car-related services. And don’t say, “You should just unsubscribe.” It’s not that easy for addicts.
6) Why is it that if I accidentally spray too much air freshener, it makes my throat hurt? Those two things seem like they should be totally unrelated, right?
And here’s one to grow on…
7) How is it that I’ve managed to NOT put on mascara for the past month? Isn’t that the staple of eye makeup? I’ve put on eye liner and eye shadow, but totally forgot about the mascara. And the only reason I discovered it was because yesterday, I found my mascara in a totally random place and thought, “Gee, I must have not been wearing this for the past month.” Good thing I found it. Or I’d still be walking around totally mascara-less.
Got answers to my questions? Got questions of your own? Share them with me in the comments section.