Who, What, When, Where, and Why?

Image via harrojapan

A pretty major ordeal knocked me off my game for a minute, but I’m back now. Just barely, but I am back. Leggo.

1) Who decided that the dime would be worth more than the nickel? If I had more time on my hands, I’d craft an argument about how this makes no sense and confuses little kids all across the nation trying to learn about money for the first time and understand why the bigger coin is worth half as much as the smaller one. But I don’t have that kind of time.

2) What is Tumblr and why is it misspelled? And do I HAVE to join that, too? I joined Facebook. Put up some pictures even. I have a semi-operational fan page (like me here) and I even joined Twitter (follow me here). WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME?!?

3) When I sleep in the guest bedroom, why do I feel like I’m cheating on the master bedroom?

(I have to ask another “when” question cuz technically, that last one was a “why” question.)

4) When did it become acceptable for butt naked people in the locker room at the yoga studio to carry on full, in-depth, life conversations? If you’re talking to me, and I’m looking at the ceiling or responding with my eyes closed, shouldn’t that be a sign that I don’t want to talk about…well…ANYTHING right now?

5) Where can I find a support group for people addicted to Groupon? I checked the history of my purchases since I joined and it appears that I buy WHATEVER they e-mail to me that day. So I have (among other things): carpet cleaning services, pole-dancing classes yoga classes, medical treatments for stuff I might not even need (but it was 78% off so why not?), and discounts at several restaurants. I’m trying to make a decision now about some spa services, more restaurants, and car-related services. And don’t say, “You should just unsubscribe.” It’s not that easy for addicts.

6) Why is it that if I accidentally spray too much air freshener, it makes my throat hurt? Those two things seem like they should be totally unrelated, right?

And here’s one to grow on…

7) How is it that I’ve managed to NOT put on mascara for the past month? Isn’t that the staple of eye makeup? I’ve put on eye liner and eye shadow, but totally forgot about the mascara. And the only reason I discovered it was because yesterday, I found my mascara in a totally random place and thought, “Gee, I must have not been wearing this for the past month.” Good thing I found it. Or I’d still be walking around totally mascara-less.

Got answers to my questions? Got questions of your own? Share them with me in the comments section.


About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
This entry was posted in Comedy, Facebook, Funny, humor, Life, Personal, random, thoughts, Uncategorized, writing and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Who, What, When, Where, and Why?

  1. RP14 says:

    I would be happy to host a Groupon intervention, if you would host an intervention for my bad habits, which include buying the same shoe in multiple colors, basically any/all clothing in different colors.


    • I don’t think that’s a bad habit at all. I actually think it is pretty darn smart. I do it as well (and know many people who do). If a certain style, size, etc. works for you, why not take full advantage of it? I would, however, advise against wearing the same item in different colors back-to-back-to….


  2. Air fresheners are my nightmare! Every time we stay at a hotel, I go on a rant how they always spray way too much (any amount is too much for me) and why can’t the windows be operable?
    My throat hurts, I can’t breath, I get a headache.(My husband thinks I am a whiner.)

    Here is what I like for producing nice scent – an orange decorated with cloves, think hedgehog.It will gradually dry and you get a nice smell of orange and cloves.No pain or discomfort 😉


  3. You’ve just given me another reason (like I needed one) NOT to try yoga. 😉 Since I believe all your questions are rhetorical, I won’t answer them. But here’s one for you?

    What’s up with putting silent letters in words? Aren’t words hard enough to spell without putting silent letter in them? Do you Know what I mean? 😉


    • Yep. I see what you did there. And I totally agree.

      But don’t let the naked people who feel the need to have naked discussions with ME deter YOU from yoga. Stuff like this happens to the Magnet for Foolishness at a MUCH higher rate than normal. You will probably be fine, especially if you’re not doing Bikram yoga (which is 90 mins, no breaks, in a 105 degree studio). With many of the other kinds of yoga, you can wait until you get home to shower and avoid the locker room altogether.


  4. p00lriah says:

    tumblr is cool if you like short & quick posts. but twitter kinda does the same thing. i can barely type so i use what my friends tell me to use. 😛 if i don’t have friends i won’t know how to put on my pants. what am i talking about again?


  5. @poolriah – It could work. You’ll probably fit right in with everything else that’s out there right now.


  6. Why are you sleeping in the guest bedroom?


I want to hear from you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s