A Conglomeration of Pontifications

Actually, they’re not really pontifications. Or should I say, not all of them are. I thought they were until I looked that word up…turns out pontification means something other than what I thought it meant. So these are just a bunch of random thoughts I strung together and tried to slap a fancy name on. This could be considered a sequel to The Raining Queen of Random Thoughts since, at the time I wrote this, it had rained continuously for five days straight. I think these thoughts were a direct result of my discombobulation from all that rain…

I definitely do not like or want this purse.

Anywho, you know those infamous, uber-expensive brown and yellow Louis Vuitton purses? Well, despite what you have forced yourself to believe, THEY DO NOT MATCH EVERYTHING! In fact, they don’t match most things. Like that black suit you have on, or those red shoes. Don’t care how durable or cute or “classic” you think it is. It doesn’t match. Period. Okay so maybe THAT was a pontification. And maybe it was a little bit of hateration since I still don’t have a Louis Vuitton purse. But probably not. It’s not like me to hate. Have you ever been on hold on the phone for SO LONG, you forgot not only who you were holding to talk to, but what it was you wanted? So you tried to make small talk with them until you remembered? But you never did? So you had to hang up and call back later? Yeah, I haven’t done that either. I know some people who have reverse anorexia. They think they’re SMALLER than they really are. Did I REALLY just eat that whole roll of Mentos in one sitting? Surely not. And does the expiration date on this package say May 20th?? It does! I wish I’d noticed that sooner. Not that it would have mattered. Isn’t it funny (and by funny, I mean totally NOT funny) when the pilates instructor walks around the class to see if everyone is doing the exercises correctly, and she counts like “7…6…5…4…5…4…3…2…3…2…1” all ‘accidental-like’ but when she’s doing the exercises with the class, she’s like “76531”. I like to hug the warm clothes really tight when they first come out of the dryer! The words “ranting” and “musing” are the most overused words in the history of blogdom. I know what ranting is, cuz I think that’s what I’m doing right now. Maybe not. But what is musing? No for real, what is it? Kids are bad. cute. but bad.

That’s all I got for now.

Do you have pontifications, random thoughts, rantings (or musings) you want to share with me? Have at it in the comments!

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About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
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17 Responses to A Conglomeration of Pontifications

  1. You do not try to match anymore, you coordinate 🙂 (my relative totally overuses this coordinate thing!)
    Mentos ads are my favorite.
    Ditto on overusing musings – I do have a page with “absolutely random musings,” very, very lame.
    My recent musings were about Victoria’s Secret catalog models – do they all have problems with their backs and sinuses? They all stand in weird poses and all have their mouths open. Strangely, neither my husband, nor my son seemed to object.

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    • You know, one thing I wonder about Victoria’s Secret in general is why they keep coming out with the same line of bras and changing the name. They tout it as their most amazing bra ever, but it’s really the same bra from last year (and the year before, and the year before) with a different angelic-type name.

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  2. Rain does amazing things to people. So you went a little ranty, musey, confusey? If you can’t do it on your blog, where can you do it?

    I love rain and don’t do “designer” anything. I like to shop at Good Will. I LOVE a great bargain and it’s my favorite form of recycling! 😉

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    • I’m a frequent Goodwill donater, but I don’t think I’ve ever shopped there. But that would be the place to get some designer stuff if you really wanted it without the designer prices!

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      • I used to love shopping at Goodwill and Out of the Closet down by UCLA as a law student! I didn’t have enough money to look elsewhere, so I’d go on OotC’s sale days. I’d buy tons of cute stuff (some of which still had several-hundred dollar price tags dangling off it!) for $15-$20, then bus home to model it for hours. Cheap fun, that.

        Now I donate every couple of months, but it’s rare for me to go in. I did go by the old OotC once recently out of a fit of melancholy. It was gone, but the memory of it will always make me smile.

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  3. I also recently discovered “pontification” meant something different than I’d thought for the better part of two decades.

    “Hateration” is my new favorite word. If only I’d known it two weeks back, I could’ve used it in one of my entries! I’m storing it for later use though. 😀

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    • Funny. Before I started blogging, I probably wouldn’t have second-guessed my understanding or usage of any word, as I was pretty confident in my vocabulary. But now that there is an eternal(?!) record of what say, I double-check even the simplest words if I have any doubt.

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  4. Reverse anorexia….reminds me of those 6 wonderful weeks I worked at Macy’s. Yes ma’am, the dress is a size 10. No,it’s not a typo. Why doesn’t it fit? Um, cuz you’re more in the 20-24 range perhaps? There’s nothing wrong with the mirror… (yes, people blamed the MIRROR)

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    • Yeah, I did a stint in retail many years ago so this is all too familiar to me. Surprisingly, people also have reverse anorexia of the feet. Wearing shoes that are too small seems like it would be much more painful (and dangerous) than wearing clothes that are too small. But hey, nothing surprises me anymore…

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  5. Pingback: Monday’s Top 5 | The Happy Logophile

  6. Oscar says:

    Hmmm. Doesn’t pontification have something to do with proclamations from the Pope (Pontif)?
    Musing has something to do with inspiration from the muses? Rant somewhere between “can’t” and “rent” (tearing up)? My word is contemplation, which sound’s sort of like constipation, but I found that wordpress uses “reflection” as a tag more often, which gets back to the distorted mirror thing.

    As I do not worry about handbags or fashion, I tried to think of a guy-thing parallel example. How about chainsaws! Red: Homelite brand. If you wear red boots outdoors this would match, but don’t let anyone catch you wearing red boots in the wood. Green: Poulan. Not quite John Deer green nor trendy lime green. Catching you using this and EVERYONE knows that you are just a step above Homelike. Stihl and Hasqvarna: Blaze Orange. Are they made my the same company, just using different Eurocentric names (German and Swedish)? Both are top of the line and preferred by guys who wear blaze orange when hunting. I think the color is really to make it easier to find them when they drop a tree on themselves, or after the snow melts in spring.

    Rant? Pontification? Musing? Reflection? or just 100 words strung together?
    Oscar

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    • Hey Oscar! I’m not sure how I would classify this…maybe all of the above? After you pointed out that “reflection” is used a lot, I started noticing it way more than “ranting” or “musing”. Another popular one seems to be “rambling”.

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      • Oscar says:

        Maybe it is just an “R” word thing. My other “R” word is “rumination”. An aspect of language, or at least the version of English which I speak, as this is as far as my brain cells have ever gotten, is that one word can have several different meanings, though these can often influence each other (hey, how is that for over-punctuation: 5 commas, now 2 parentheses, a colon and period, plus 2 more commas).

        For instance, I think of “rambling” as what I do when I walk in the wood around our cabin. Bloggers, more likely use the concept of speaking in a loose, winding manner, for which the image of wandering in the country side complements nicely. “Rumination” is what cows and goats, and other grazing animals do, because they have a pre-stomach. When they eat the grass, it goes into the rumin, mixes with digestive juices to break down a bit. Then they sit down and start chewing the cud, which is really semi-barfed up fermenting grass. This is called “ruminiating”, after which they swallow the stuff again, pass it into their stomach to extract the nutrients. What an image for half-digested writing!

        Now, if you have cows or goats, you have to watch for the “bloat”. That occurs when the rumin gets blocked at both ends because the animal ate something too rich,which begins to ferment too quickly. Gas builds up, swells up the rumin and crushes the lungs and heart. Ouch. If this happens, what you do is feed then some baking soda to neutralize the fermentation, and walk them around so that they pass the gasses by burping or farting. Walking around to pass gas, sounds like “rambling”. “Bloat”… sound like any bloggers you know!? 🙂

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  7. Shaneice says:

    I know what muse means, but musing, you’ve got me beat.
    I would ask, where’s the A?

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    • Hi, Shaneice. I just looked it up (don’t know why I hadn’t already done it, but whatever…) and apparently “musing” means meditation. This is interesting to me because I meditate often, but I wouldn’t say that what I do is “musing”…

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  8. Erynn Elizabeth says:

    I like your blog- AND I have been saying that about those Luis Vuitton bags for the past 10 years or something.
    Sigh.
    I knew I couldn’t be the only one.

    Like

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