My Frenemies

She might have the right idea…

I’ve only been on Twitter for three weeks (follow me here), but I’ve quickly learned that if a topic is “trending”, it’s usually not for a good reason. Some of last week’s trending topics sent me on an emotional rollercoaster before I ever clicked on the hyperlink to find out WHY they were trending. They include:

  • Will and Jada Pinkett Smith – They’re separated…NOT!
  • Nancy Reagan – She fell. And, thankfully, #thatisall. I held my breath the entire time I was waiting for that page to load on my BlackBerry because I was anticipating worse news. (The page loaded about as slowly as she moved down this aisle…)
  • Pat Summitt – She announced that, unfortunately, she has been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease.
  • Steve Jobs – He announced his resignation from Apple.

I won’t even mention the earthquake and hurricane we had on the east coast (although I guess I just did) because I didn’t need Twitter to tell me those things were happening…I experienced them firsthand. And would LOVE to never experience them again, just in case you were wondering. But the use of technology and social media outlets were beneficial here, though, because sending mass texts and Twitter or Facebook updates helped free up phone lines for those with true emergencies who really needed them.

I wrote this post a few months ago about Facebook being a gift and a curse and, as I’m sure you’ve deduced, I feel the same way about Twitter.  Actually, I feel that way about technology, in general. I’ve experienced a few things lately that have seriously made me SMH. For example…

My GPS and I have a hate-hate relationship. I’ll admit that our strained relationship is partially because I’ve had the GPS for three years and have never connected it to the internet to download any updates. But it’s mostly because she is just plain trifling. Yes, it is a she. Have you ever seen this episode of “The Office” where the GPS leads them into a lake? This is the kind of thing my GPS does to me ALL THE TIME. And if you try to override it to save your own life by choosing not to drive into a tree, house, or river, SHE YELLS AT YOU and then says, “Make a U-turn when possible!!”

My home bathroom (or its user?) is confused. Because I spend much more of my life at work and other public places than I do my home, I’ve become accustomed to automated bathrooms: automatic faucets, soap dispensers, and paper towel dispensers. So there have been a couple of times when I’m at home trying to wash my hands, and I put them under the soap pump…and wait…and wait…and wait. And I move around a little bit thinking maybe it’s having difficulty sensing me. Then realize that I’m at home. So I’m gonna have to pump my own soap. And then, as if I didn’t just have a duh moment, I hold my hands under the faucet…and wait…and wait…and wait. I’d previously decided to keep these incidences to myself, but I know you’ve done this, too. I didn’t want you to feel alone.

My Bible wants me to “Like” it on Facebook and follow it on Twitter! I downloaded a Bible app to my BlackBerry last year and had been thoroughly pleased with its accuracy and convenience. I was sitting in church a few months back and my Bible started talking to me. Somehow the app got ‘upgraded’ without my knowledge and programmed to read the Bible verses to me in addition to providing the text. Imagine my surprise (and everyone else’s) when this happened! It took me a while to get it downgraded back to text only. And a few weeks ago, it asked that I “Like” it on Facebook and follow it on Twitter! I’m kinda scared to do it, because I don’t know what other unexpected upgrades they may decide to surprise me with!

Have you had similar experiences to these? Is technology your friend or enemy? I want to hear from you! Share your experiences with me in the comments.

Picture from The Untangled Web

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About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
This entry was posted in Comedy, culture, Facebook, Funny, humor, Life, Personal, pop culture, random, thoughts, Uncategorized, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to My Frenemies

  1. stevebetz says:

    I also find the trending topics pretty depressing. Though sometimes I admit that I will move around from city-to-city to see how they change. I know I know — there must be SOMETHING more useful to do with my time.

    I’ve done a pretty big social-media retraction over the past six months. Too many old “friends” from high school and college that, you know, really weren’t friends any more — delete delete delete.

    I will say, though that I heard about the earthquake in VA almost immediately b/c of Twitter and was able to call my MIL (in Richmond) and find out she was okay and calm her down before the phone lines got bogged down.

    Like

  2. Amy Keeley says:

    The picture you have on your blog is why I don’t Tweet, lol.
    Trade-offs? Nothing as dramatic (or funny) as what you’ve posted. But then, we tend to be pretty low tech. I don’t even have a Smartphone. Thank you, though, for giving me an image I will always associate with any new technology. 🙂

    Like

  3. Chris Drummonds says:

    Most of the trending topics are stupid and or useless. Use, I try not to twitter about such things.

    As far as other technology, like GPS, I haven’t had too many problems. My GPS has only lead me wrong twice, so she has been good to me.

    Like

  4. RP14 says:

    This is not where I thought this post was going when I read the title! My GPS on my phone is WORTHLESS…I have usually arrived at my destination, and it is still trying to find the GPS signal
    :-(.

    The next thing is my Android powered cell phone…there aren’t enough curse words for this phone!!!

    Great Post!!

    Like

  5. p00lriah. says:

    i personally like the logos bible app. it’s not available for bb, but you can access it through biblia.com. pretty fast page load & free.

    Like

  6. Oh, I do identify with your post about technology being my frememy. I simply cannot imagine my phone talking to me, let alone it quoting Bible verses. Too funny!

    Besides the computer gaffes I’ve had during my little road trip, dropped calls from dumb phones, automatic public bathroom fixtures that ignore me, and the inexplicable workings of any music device that begins with “i”, I love technology. I can Google things my mind refuses to remember. Since my dizziness descended and I have to take meds that dull my brain, my spelling skills have have plummetted (did I spell that right?). So I can look up words in an instant, saving myself the embarassment of a Ph.D. who can’t spell. I can take digital pictures that I rarely look at and mean to scrapbook. The list just goes on and on…

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  7. hermitsdoor says:

    I’m pretty low on the latest tech. ladder. I did buy a new chainsaw today, Hasquvarna 16″ 445 to replace my 20 year old Homelite (it was) and 10 year old Polan (to which my small engine repair guy said, “You’ve got how many years of use out this?”). For a chuckle about God and Twitter, check out my latest (8/31/11) blog on Jeremiah 29:11. I’d give you the link, but I’m pretty low on the tech ladder…

    Oscar

    Like

  8. Those sound like some very exciting toys, Oscar! Will check out the blog post soon.

    Like

  9. New to Twitter? Hmm, I recommend hanging around for #TwitterAfterDark, when people tweet all their h0 sh*t like we won’t remember it tomorrow. I generally don’t even log on until 9pm since everyone on the East Coast in drunk

    Like

  10. hermitsdoor says:

    We came in to D. C. to see Arena Stage’s season opening production of “Trouble in Mind”. Being introspective, I thought this production might interest you (if you are into theatre). You can check out my review on my blog (http://hermitsdoor.wordpress.com/2011/09/14/theatre-review-trouble-in-mind). Not owning a cell phone, I shall not tweet anyone about it.
    Oscar

    Like

  11. 1heartle says:

    Just the proliferation of gadgets that keep pushing content, notifications, beeps and other noises. It was bad enough being an old fart. Anyway, I would love to. Have some king of universal gadget that did everything, or gadgets that kept in synch with each other.

    The best example of synching up is Kindle for iPad synchs up with my Kindle for iTouch so that I don’t have to scroll around to find my place in whatever I’m reading. That said, most bibles for Kindle are not that user friendly. There are bible reader apps that work better for searching, reading xref etc. I’m testing out the Oak Tree bible app now. I’ve heard that the ESV bible has a new version for Kindle that has more features. I’ve downloaded it, but haven’t explored it yet.

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  12. Oscar, you got it right…we “used to” consider the brain our universal gadget. Now, we have so many other things to think for us, we don’t have to. For example, I don’t know ANYONE’S phone number by heart because I don’t have to…I know their name. And their name is in my phone. And their number is programmed with their name. So technology is definitely an enabler because there was a time when this wasn’t common, but I’m finding more and more that it is the norm. Good or bad, it is the norm.

    Like

    • hermitsdoor says:

      As you might have gathered, I do not worry much about norms. However, I had an interesting conversation with several folks today (mostly between your age and mine) about how quickly cell phone technology has influenced society. Some expressed concern about how the teenage/young adult population will communicate in a few years, given that they know how to text, etc. but not talk. These concerns were countered with examples of being about to keep in touch with family overseas, etc. I think that the criteria to examine is how much does the technology enhance our lives and relationships, and how much does it become another distraction. Oops. Better get off the computer and visit with the in-laws! Thanks for getting his discussion going.
      Oscar

      Like

  13. Shaneice says:

    Sorry to inform you, Steve Jobs has passed. RIP.
    Yeah I’m just now coming to your blog, so I just thought I’d “update” you. 🙂
    Anywho, it’s funny reading all those things you can like on facebook only to find out most of it is untrue. You ever read those groups that say, “Like this/Join this group and the first 500,000,000 people to join will receive a free ipad”. No one says that in order to get the free ipad, you need to follow them on twitter, post a follow back link to their FB group, request friends with them on myspace, visit their tumblr everyday and make a video on youtube in order to be qualified. Oh wait, there’s more. You have to get 10 people you know to join their FB group, and they have to send them a message verifying who you are. Shall I go on?

    -wipes forehead- whew!

    Like

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