Sonya’s LEAST Favorite Things

Not to be confused with Sonya’s Favorite Things – Part 1 or Part 2, this post is by popular demand. Well, actually two people asked me to do it. So if you consider that popular…

1)  Soup. I won’t lie. On occasion, I will have a bowl of soup. And that soup usually comes from one of two places: Panera Bread (French Onion) or Legal Seafood (Cream of Crab). And it will likely be near blizzard conditions outside. But since I’m an adult, my diet consists primarily of solid foods. And has since circa 1981. If you have teeth, you’re supposed to use them. Up your game and have a salad. Grab a sandwich. But chill out on the soup. It’s lame.

2)  Bathroom conversations. Besides being just an overall awkward place to shoot the breeze, the bathroom is a very private place. Very, very private. So when you bump into someone in the bathroom, this is not the time to strike-up a conversation about the Anniversary sale at Nordstorm, the debt crisis, or J. Lo and Marc Anthony’s divorce! Though critically important, these conversations (especially the first one) are better reserved for outside the restroom where we can both talk and breathe freely. Consider the logistics – there’s a stall or two (or five) between us so we will likely have to talk over (or around?) someone, toilets are flushing, water is running, and paper towel dispensers are dispensing…so, more than likely, I WON’T BE ABLE TO HEAR YOU! And even if I could, this conversation can definitely wait 60 seconds until we’re outside the bathroom.

 3)  D.C. sidewalks. Many a pair of high-quality heels have met their demise on the sidewalks of Washington, D.C. These sidewalks have so many hidden holes and loose bricks that it’s amazing that I haven’t twisted or broken my ankles. I’ve written a letter to the Mayor letting him know how many pairs of my shoes have been ruined because of his raggedy sidewalks. But, I haven’t mailed it yet (yes, another one of my “Love letters” unfulfilled) because something tells me that he probably won’t respond. Maybe I should still mail it to make myself feel better. In any case, if you see me walking down the street with my head hung low, it’s not because I’m not confident. And not because I’m sad. It’s because I’m scared…of these loose sidewalk bricks! And I’m on the lookout…

 4)  Irresponsible journalism. You’re probably thinking, “Who does like irresponsible journalism?” But take a look at it from a different, less obvious angle. Think about plain ole, trifling, lazy entertainment news. For example, you couldn’t have done a tad bit more research to know that singer and songwriter Ne-Yo is not a rapper?! HAVE YOU SEEN NE-YO?? Ne-Yo is about as much of a rapper as Taylor Swift is. What’s next…gangster rapper Kobe Bryant? Gangster rapper Bill Cosby? Gangster rapper Barack Obama? C’mon, son. You’re not even trying. This is a form of irresponsible journalism. Another example: I’m watching the news and it announces, “Two Ax murderers are on the loose. Are they in your neighborhood? Find out tonight at 11.” Well, gee. I was about to go to the gym. But since its noon and the murderers could be right outside my door, and I won’t know for sure until 11 tonight, I guess I have to stay in the house. All day. THIS, too, is irresponsible journalism.

“Basketball Wives” Evelyn and Jennifer (picture from Long Hair Care Forum)

5)  Big ass, mother earth-sized earrings. I was shopping in an accessories store and ALL the earrings were so big it was unbelievable. These Basketball Wives have really started something. Their earrings are so big I would be afraid that I’d put my eye out if I turned my head too fast! And the “wives” have such long hair, I KNOW their earrings get tangled sometimes. Plus, the way those chicks like to fight, the mother earth-sized earrings seem too easy a target.

 I have to wonder if this is truly stylish, or if it’s teetering at the edge of gaudy and tacky… But back to my adventures accessory shopping, these earrings are so big I could take them off in church and fan myself!

The smallest pair in the store...

 and speaking of church…

6) Looooooong prayers. Once upon a time, while enduring yet another loooooong prayer during church service, I fell asleep and had a dream. The interesting thing about this dream is that it was about Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream” speech. I was standing right before Dr. King as he gave his speech. I don’t remember much about the dream, except it seemed like everybody around me was in black and white, but I was in color. As I listened to his message, I heard “…free at last, free at last…” and then I woke up…and the prayer was still going on. True story.

 7)  Ponytails. I really dislike ponytails and believe that they should always be a last resort and not a first option. Unless you’re exercising, then they are slightly more tolerable. So if you see me rocking a ponytail outside the gym, please know that it is not only NOT a good hair day, it probably isn’t a good day, period. So consider yourself warned.

8 ) One-armed hugs.  Unless that other arm is broken or on fire, you should use both of them to hug. If you can’t do that, then just shake hands. Generally speaking, one-armed hugs are annoying. They make me feel less loved.

That is all.

What are some of your least favorite things? Share them with me in the comments section!

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About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
This entry was posted in basketball wives, Comedy, culture, dreams, Funny, humor, Life, Life plans, Personal, pop culture, random, reality TV, thoughts, Uncategorized, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Sonya’s LEAST Favorite Things

  1. RP14 says:

    So I am guilty of number 5 and 7 and often at the same time LOL and well I’m not going to stop…side note where are those earrings and I’m serious!!
    I do think B-Ball Wives takes them too far b/c their earrings look painful, it is possible to have big earrings that don’t drag your ear lobes down

    Like

    • You have such beautiful hair, ponytails don’t do it justice!

      And I can’t remember the name of the store, but I will check the next time I’m in the mall. It’s right next door to Infinitely Drinking Age!

      Like

      • RP14 says:

        Thank you…but humidty is not a friend of mine, there is no love lost between us LOL. Another reason for my use of the ponytail is that I only go to the salon every 2 weeks, the last few days require a ponytail!

        Like

  2. stevebetz says:

    I’ve never understood the bathroom conversations and they creep me out. I’ve seen an increase of people talking on their cellphones while in public bathrooms too — incredibly incredibly creepy.

    As a guy, I root for the ponytail-baseball hat combo. I also like soup. 🙂

    Like

    • I, too, have observed an increase in bathroom cell phone conversations lately. And, believe it or not, I’ve also noticed an increase in bathroom meals! Yes, I’ve seen people not only bring their lunch into the restroom, but eat it in there as well. Since when did a public restroom become the new hang-out spot?!

      Like

  3. re #8 Truthfully, I sometimes use one-armed hugs (or “shoulder hugs” as I think of them, because I lean in with my shoulder) to keep guys-or-relatives-who-creep-me-out-but-I-can’t-get-around-hugging at a safe distance.
    I think that I should get a pass for that.
    Jodi

    Like

  4. Sugarmama says:

    I dislike:
    A) people who scream profanities at their children,
    B) bosses who don’t understand social distance,
    C) drivers who don’t use blinkers, and
    D) people who don’t curb their dogs!

    Like

  5. Sumer says:

    mother-earth sized earrings! Love the term, will be using it.

    Like

  6. I dislike natural peanut butter. Today everything “natural” or “organic” is seem as good so I can’t admit to many that I hate natural peanut butter. Hydrogenate the oil, or toss it in the garbage.

    Like

  7. hermitsdoor says:

    I agree with a dislike for bathroom conversations. As you are a magnet for foolishness, you may enjoy this story. My wife & I used to attend the Grace Chruch in Georgetown, sporadically (where else could you park in front of an adult toy store and walk across the street to a beautiful, small church?). What impressed us the most was that the Rev. David Byrd always recognized us and recalled our names, even though months may have passed since our last visit. He moved to San Jose, CA to take over the downtown church there, about the time we moved to the mountains, 8 years ago. My family happens to live near SJ, so on one of our trips to visit family, we went to his church in CA. We planned to slip in quietly. Before the service, I went to the men’s room, which consisted of two stations, one for standing and one for sitting. Guess who was standing, while I brushed by to close the stall door. No words, other than “Good day” were exchanged. During the service, when Rev. Byrd started to give The Peace, he announced that friends of his from Washington, D.C. had travelled to joint he service. Yes, in his peripherial vision, he had recognized me in the bathroom.

    Like

  8. HAHA this post was hilarious. I loved number 4, and the Ne-Yo thing. However, in reference to “Gangster rapper Barrack Obama”, I think you should see this…definitely T.I. worthy 🙂

    Like

    • THIS VIDEO WAS AWESOME!!!! Thanks so much for sharing! There was another youtube video making the rounds that had a B. Obama impersonator rapping to Waka Flocka Flame’s “Hard in Da Paint”. Have you seen that one? The fake M. Obama and Oprah were HILARIOUS!! This rap is much cleaner (which I appreciate) than that one, though. Again, thanks for sharing.

      Like

      • haha yeah ive seen that one too! although the original song by waka flocka gives me a headache every time i listen to it-its litterally him saying “im going hard in the paint.” Im really a fan of your blogs though, keep it up.

        Like

  9. Pingback: Happy Birthablogiversary! | Magnet for Foolishness™

  10. Emma says:

    some of my least favorite things:
    Spiders. Espesially the long legged, black ones.
    Raisen Cookies. a cookie is a dessert, a raisen is a “fruit”. not things you should mix.
    Homework on weekends. Of coarse, teachers don’t want you to enjoy your weekend like a normal person, so they load you up with homework and say “have a nice weekend, kids!” seriously!

    Like

  11. Cjay says:

    I dislike:

    1) Sorbet when offered as a dessert. I’m part southern and part Midwestern-so desserts should be cake with non-whipped frosting or pie / cobbler.

    2) teenagers that ride DMV metro.

    3) people that talk from both sides of their neck. Be consistent. Don’t tell me what I want to hear in front of my face and then say the opposite when in front of someone else.

    4) Destiny’s Child. Ok, I like a few of their songs, but they’ll never be as good as TLC, EnVouge, or the Supremes!

    5) people who drive 55mph on the highway in the far left lane. You know who you are and you know you are so wrong for that.

    Like

  12. Pingback: To Mexico and back, in one(?) piece. – Part 3 | Magnet for Foolishness®

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