1) Soup. I won’t lie. On occasion, I will have a bowl of soup. And that soup usually comes from one of two places: Panera Bread (French Onion) or Legal Seafood (Cream of Crab). And it will likely be near blizzard conditions outside. But since I’m an adult, my diet consists primarily of solid foods. And has since circa 1981. If you have teeth, you’re supposed to use them. Up your game and have a salad. Grab a sandwich. But chill out on the soup. It’s lame.
2) Bathroom conversations. Besides being just an overall awkward place to shoot the breeze, the bathroom is a very private place. Very, very private. So when you bump into someone in the bathroom, this is not the time to strike-up a conversation about the Anniversary sale at Nordstorm, the debt crisis, or J. Lo and Marc Anthony’s divorce! Though critically important, these conversations (especially the first one) are better reserved for outside the restroom where we can both talk and breathe freely. Consider the logistics – there’s a stall or two (or five) between us so we will likely have to talk over (or around?) someone, toilets are flushing, water is running, and paper towel dispensers are dispensing…so, more than likely, I WON’T BE ABLE TO HEAR YOU! And even if I could, this conversation can definitely wait 60 seconds until we’re outside the bathroom.
3) D.C. sidewalks. Many a pair of high-quality heels have met their demise on the sidewalks of Washington, D.C. These sidewalks have so many hidden holes and loose bricks that it’s amazing that I haven’t twisted or broken my ankles. I’ve written a letter to the Mayor letting him know how many pairs of my shoes have been ruined because of his raggedy sidewalks. But, I haven’t mailed it yet (yes, another one of my “Love letters” unfulfilled) because something tells me that he probably won’t respond. Maybe I should still mail it to make myself feel better. In any case, if you see me walking down the street with my head hung low, it’s not because I’m not confident. And not because I’m sad. It’s because I’m scared…of these loose sidewalk bricks! And I’m on the lookout…
4) Irresponsible journalism. You’re probably thinking, “Who does like irresponsible journalism?” But take a look at it from a different, less obvious angle. Think about plain ole, trifling, lazy entertainment news. For example, you couldn’t have done a tad bit more research to know that singer and songwriter Ne-Yo is not a rapper?! HAVE YOU SEEN NE-YO?? Ne-Yo is about as much of a rapper as Taylor Swift is. What’s next…gangster rapper Kobe Bryant? Gangster rapper Bill Cosby? Gangster rapper Barack Obama? C’mon, son. You’re not even trying. This is a form of irresponsible journalism. Another example: I’m watching the news and it announces, “Two Ax murderers are on the loose. Are they in your neighborhood? Find out tonight at 11.” Well, gee. I was about to go to the gym. But since its noon and the murderers could be right outside my door, and I won’t know for sure until 11 tonight, I guess I have to stay in the house. All day. THIS, too, is irresponsible journalism.
5) Big ass, mother earth-sized earrings. I was shopping in an accessories store and ALL the earrings were so big it was unbelievable. These Basketball Wives have really started something. Their earrings are so big I would be afraid that I’d put my eye out if I turned my head too fast! And the “wives” have such long hair, I KNOW their earrings get tangled sometimes. Plus, the way those chicks like to fight, the mother earth-sized earrings seem too easy a target.
I have to wonder if this is truly stylish, or if it’s teetering at the edge of gaudy and tacky… But back to my adventures accessory shopping, these earrings are so big I could take them off in church and fan myself!
and speaking of church…
6) Looooooong prayers. Once upon a time, while enduring yet another loooooong prayer during church service, I fell asleep and had a dream. The interesting thing about this dream is that it was about Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream” speech. I was standing right before Dr. King as he gave his speech. I don’t remember much about the dream, except it seemed like everybody around me was in black and white, but I was in color. As I listened to his message, I heard “…free at last, free at last…” and then I woke up…and the prayer was still going on. True story.
7) Ponytails. I really dislike ponytails and believe that they should always be a last resort and not a first option. Unless you’re exercising, then they are slightly more tolerable. So if you see me rocking a ponytail outside the gym, please know that it is not only NOT a good hair day, it probably isn’t a good day, period. So consider yourself warned.
8 ) One-armed hugs. Unless that other arm is broken or on fire, you should use both of them to hug. If you can’t do that, then just shake hands. Generally speaking, one-armed hugs are annoying. They make me feel less loved.
That is all.
What are some of your least favorite things? Share them with me in the comments section!