One is remembering to NOT end your sentences with a preposition.
And here is a quick list of 5 others that I compiled because I thought you might be able to relate. Or maybe I just hoped that you would.
1) Making double-sided copies of something at Kinko’s. Please take my advice on this one. If you have never tried to make double-sided copies of something at Kinko’s DON’T. When you walk in the door, proceed IMMEDIATELY to the counter and tell a person who works there what you need. I had to learn this the hard way. I was sweaty, angry, and almost broke from messing up so many times. And I may have created a couple of new curse words.
2) Killing a stink bug that has found its way into your house. Since the middle of Spring, I’ve gone to battle with a number of stink bugs and those grasshopper/cricket hybrid thingies. I own a can of Raid, but it never seems to be in the place where I need it to be, at the moment I need it to be there. Someone with a Master’s degree might buy a can for every room in the house. Or maybe not. They might just calmly get up and go get the Raid, wherever it is, and come back and kill the bug. But not me. I go into panic mode every time I see a bug and HAVE to kill it before it leaves my sight! So I usually grab the closest thing to me. Last week, I Spray ‘N Washed one grasshopper/cricket to death and Febreezed another one. And a stink bug on the blinds in my bedroom almost got Vera Wanged to death…but then I remembered how expensive that perfume was. The bug somehow got away before I could figure out a backup plan.
3) Determining when the spell check feature might be wrong. I was typing a document and typed the word “rough”. Spell check put that red squiggly line under it and suggested that I may have meant to type “ruff”. So I thought about it for a while…NO!! I MEANT TO TYPE ROUGH!! I was mad at myself for deliberating as long as I did on this suggestion. More mad than I was at spell check for suggesting it!
4) Figuring out how to split the restaurant bill with other people in your party. If it’s left up to me, the waiter might get a 3 percent tip. But they might get an 89 percent tip. You never know. And neither do I, because I’m not good at doing these calculations if my party decides to do ANYTHING other than divide the check equally. But for some reason, the calculating responsibilities usually fall to me…
5) Figuring out what size pantyhose you wear. I hadn’t worn pantyhose in about ten years, but for some unknown reason, I decided to buck the system and buy some to wear with a dress to this fancy smancy event I was attending. Imagine my surprise when I was getting dressed and was only able to pull those pantyhose as far as my upper ankle area. I think I’m gonna write Calvin Klein and tell him I want my $20 back and that the sizing chart on the packages should be easier to decode.
Can you relate to any of this? Have you discovered other areas where a Master’s degree can’t help you? Share them with me in the comments!
In the meanwhile, I’m gonna check the back of my degree to see if it has an expiration date…