Rip the Runway. No, really….RIP IT!

As we transition from Spring to Summer, I feel that a totally subjective, yet very necessary style guide for you to memorize and follow is in order.

I’m a firm believer that wardrobe choices should be situation-specific. Each person should dress to fit his or her own weight, height, body shape, age, complexion, and personality.  With that being said, I’ve listed a few things below for your consideration. For the most part, this is for the ladies, but there are a couple of points applicable to the fellas as well.

I advise against….

You don't wanna look like this, do you?

…wearing the color yellow. I’ve been pretty anti-yellow since I was in high school. It is bright and busy and makes my head hurt. Yellow is for people who are intentionally trying to call attention to themselves. I feel like when you wear yellow, you’re screaming at me. And why would you want to scream at me? A past boss once told me that she didn’t wear yellow because it made her look “school bus-ish”. I totally feel where she’s coming from. Yellow can also make you look highlighter-ish. For this reason, I only own about three yellow pieces in my entire wardrobe. And they are all still in the closet. With the tags on them.

…wearing the “color” white. White, by definition, is not a color; it’s the absence of color. I’m not a fan of white clothes or shoes (I don’t even like white socks) and I think the white version of any clothing article should be cheaper than a color version because you’re getting less for your money. It’s a cop out! They didn’t put enough effort into making that piece. So please avoid adding white stuff to your wardrobe. Because, depending on your body shape, you run the risk of looking like a Q-tip. Or a cloud. Or bar of soap. (Note: White parties are acceptable, but only because of the party part.)

Can't remember which Olsen twin this is, but it looks like she's being attacked by her scarf...

…over-accessorizing.  Coco Chanel is credited with many great quotes about style and fashion. This may not be exact (since I, of course, didn’t hear her say it firsthand) but she said some variation of “Every day before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off.” Truer words have never been spoken. Actually, you might need to take about five things off! Do you really need huge earrings AND a huge necklace AND a huge bracelet AND a huge ring AND a huge scarf AND a huge belt AND a huge purse? Simplicity is key. What are you trying to hide under all that over-accessorization?

I strongly advise against…

…wearing twin sets. For those of you who don’t know, a twin set is basically the same sweater on top of itself. Some people say it’s a ‘shell’ with a ‘button-down cardigan’ but what it is, is the same sweater on top of itself. The bottom sweater is the same color and material as the top sweater. Which is totally pointless if you ask me. Why would anybody wear the same sweater twice, at the same time, on purpose?

Several years ago, I was friends with this chick and twin sets were a staple in her wardrobe. She wore them ALL the time. And much to my chagrin, she even wore a twin set to “the club” once. I haven’t talked to her in years. And now that I think about it, that might be why!

Now for the things I like. But first, let me clarify that pink and green are the two bestest colors, like, ever. That’s a fact. It’s in one of the Geneva Conventions, but I forget which one. Having said that, I really like…

…the color red. This is a color I feel I don’t have enough of in my wardrobe.  And I don’t have a fancy explanation for why I like it, I just do. It’s pretty. And when I wear it, I feel invincible! Like I’m Oprah or something. But this is just for clothes. Red lipstick is still a no-no in my book. I don’t care if you are Rihanna.


Royal wedding attendee, Tara Palmer-Tomkinson

…the color blue.  Royal blue, that is. It is indeed royal! Not endorsing this outfit (except for the shoes, love the shoes) but this color is beautiful! Actually, the outfit is okay. But that hat??


…hats.  The hat in the picture to the right is an example of an UNacceptable hat. Or at least a very confusing hat. I will rock a hat every now and then, but I don’t think I can pull the look off as well as some people. I’m kinda jealous of people who can wear hats.  Take the picture below, for example. Normally I get annoyed when people photoshop  someone else’s head onto my body :). But Ms. Rowland looks cuter in this hat than I probably would, so it’s okay this time.

Wow! Look at that....hat!

…….linen. Wearing linen might be cheating since one could argue (and that one would be me) that it is kinda like wearing slightly more fashionable pajamas! I’ve already worn linen twice this month, which I guess is breaking seasonal rules since technically it’s not summer yet. But I don’t care; I didn’t feel the need to wait. But be careful with linen. Because…

(1) Skin-tight linen is not a good look.

(2) Linen STILL requires ironing. I hate ironing as much as the next gal, but it is very necessary because linen wrinkles naturally. So you don’t want the natural wrinkles PLUS your extra (wo)man-made wrinkles.

(3) A man wearing linen is not always… particularly…umm….desirable. Sorry. I didn’t make this rule. But I try to help enforce it.

…patent leather.  I love black patent leather and I don’t believe that it should have seasonal stipulations. I think you can wear it year-round. Most people associate patent leather with Easter, but I definitely think you could (and should) associate it with Christmas, too! Patent leather=happiness and holidays are supposed to be happy, right?

 

Do you agree with this list? What’s on your list of fashion faves or no-nos?

(BTW, this is where I ripped the title from: Rip the Runway)

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About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
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11 Responses to Rip the Runway. No, really….RIP IT!

  1. C.D. says:

    lol@ twin sets being the same sweater, on top of itself, at the same time!

    Good list (although… Hi, I’m C.D. and I’m a yellow wearer).

    But I’m afraid you forgot one glaring fashion mishap. Now admittedly, this may only be glaring for me, a native Clevelander where tomfoolery originates, but the sandals with socks is a HUGE no-no. Anyone doing so should just start over- in life- because something went horribly awry along the way.

    Like

  2. sugarmama says:

    I realized these are for women, but I’d like to drop a few fashion no-nos for men.
    1. Short sleeve dress shirts — Who sells them?
    2. Short sets — I saw a brother with one on and he looked like a giant puzzle! Ridiculous.
    3. Color animal print shoes — Have you ever seen a purple or yellow crodicle or aligator?
    4. A complete colored outfit — No man should have on a yellow shirt and pants outfit with yellow socks and fake yellow gators! Talk about foolishness. That tops my list!

    Like

  3. Sumer says:

    wearing open toe shoes, sandles, or any shoe that shows alot of your feet and they are in ‘bad-need-of-a-pedicure-jacked.

    when your toes stick out beyond your sandles. Hello? Get a bigger pair.

    this goes in line with over accessorizing, why out of 10 fingers you have on 10 rings? Ok yes, in high school, that was the thing, but if you are grown, why do you have on so many rings?

    Like

  4. morningjoi says:

    Ha! You’d likely be stunned with the amount of yellow and white in my wardrobe. And just for that, I’m wearing yellow the next time I see you! 😛

    Like

  5. Too funny. Is it just me, or does chick-a-dee in the blue look like the “?” in “The Fifth Element”?

    just sayin’

    ~Chappy
    http://www.insaneasylumblog.com

    Like

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  8. Cardell says:

    This is a great post! I agree with everything that was mentioned EXCEPT yellow. I think it depends on the shade of yellow. Mustard color yellow–absolutely NOT! But a softer shade of yellow can look really nice depending on your skin tone. I’m often told that these shades of yellow I wear look great on my and compliment my skin tone. Do you feel the same about Neon green? And why did you buy yellow colored clothing knowing you wouldn’t wear them? Lol. Perhaps they were a gift? I’m not a big fan of linen because it wrinkles too much, but I’ve seen a few guys pull it off well. But it was not tight fitting on them either. Lol. And for women you should have added shirts with the back out–especially for those that have large rolls. You know who you are.

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    • You are TOO funny! Yeah, if you have “piles and piles” of back, you shouldn’t be wearing backless shirts.

      As I stated in the post, I think that everything is situation-specific. In general, I’m not a fan of yellow but if it works for you, do you, boo! I find it very distracting. Also, not a fan of neon stuff unless it is a swimsuit or workout clothes or something where glowing in the dark isn’t a bad thing. Otherwise, you’ll be talking to me and I’ll be sitting there thinking, “Why did this chile leave the house looking like a highlighter?” You know me . I won’t be able to hear a word that you say!

      Like

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