“Did I brush my teeth today?” And other reasons why Motherhood might not be ready for me

As I sit here running my tongue slowly across my teeth, seriously trying to remember if I brushed them today, I can’t help but think of some conversations I’ve had recently with a couple of my friends (male, female, single, and married) about Motherhood. What Motherhood means and all the responsibilities that come with it. One of the main responsibilities, I would imagine, is making sure that more than just your own teeth get brushed. You know, once the kid is big enough to actually grow teeth and stuff.

Everyday I wonder what it would be like to HAVE to take care of more than just myself. And sometimes, those thoughts can be a bit overwhelming. One of my friends has told me repeatedly that crackheads do it (it=being a mother) everyday. “So if a crackhead can do it, you can do it.” She has a point, but that’s not very reassuring. Being compared to a crackhead doesn’t exactly scream, “I have confidence in you!”

Still, I continue to wonder what Motherhood might look like on me.

I mean, I can see it now……

Scene 1:

My kid would say something like, “Mommy, I know its cold outside, but this scarf itches so I don’t want to wear it. And this hat itches. And these socks itch, too!!”

And I would say something like, “But sweetheart, Mommy loves you, and I want you to stay warm so you don’t catch a cold.”

Then the kid would say something like, “But Mommy, THEY ITCH!!!!”

Then I would say, “Take ’em off then.”

Scene 2:

We’re in the waiting room at the Children’s Clinic because my kid has pneumonia.

But the extra sad thing is, knowing me, I probably wouldn’t have even gone ONE round with the kid; I would have caved immediately. Because I feel where this imaginary kid is coming from….that crap DOES itch!

Then again, there are signs that Motherhood might look good on me.  For example, I LOVE cartoons!! So me and the kid could spend time bonding over episodes of The Simpsons. Or King of the Hill. And I’m a pretty decent spelller sometimes, so I could probably help the kid with its homework. And it would never go hungry because I can make it a mean bowl of cereal for breakfast. Can of tuna for lunch. And bowl of cereal for dinner.

So maybe I talked myself back into it. Maybe, just maybe….Motherhood IS ready for me. But until it….oh yeah, and A HUSBAND (almost forgot about that part) decide to find me, I will use this time in the interim to perfect my cereal-making.

Mothers, mothers-to-be, husbands of mothers, and husbands of others…. let me hear from you…..

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About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
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9 Responses to “Did I brush my teeth today?” And other reasons why Motherhood might not be ready for me

  1. Jewel Run says:

    As a father of 4, I would say you’ve definitely got the right idea about parenting “how to’s”. Old manuscipts on how to raise your children won’t work with today’s kids — You will be the mother of Generation @ or dot.com kids, and they will be playing on on a completely different stage than we did in our youth. But no worries, you are equipped — you have youth, you are bright and tech-savvy. You’ll learn the ropes — i.e. when I couldn’t figure out whether I brushed my hair, or not, I just cut it all off… Ta-Dah — Problem solved!! c:

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  2. Jania says:

    This is Hilarious! I could see myself caving on the hat/scarf as well. lol

    I had a discussion with a co-worker last week about cartoons and my disgust for the Cartoon Network and others producing cartoons like King of the Hill and labeling them “adult swim.” Who came up with that term and is it o.k. for my kid to watch cartoons with adult content?

    OAN: I fear that my skills to assist with homework wouldn’t be adequate. Spanish in grade school…algebra in grade school…I would be of no help to the kid after 5th grade…maybe sooner.

    BUT, on a positive note, I can cook up a mean batch of pancakes from the mix that I only have to add water!

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  3. Cherlisa Reynolds says:

    King of the Hill and The Simpsons… Just wanted you to read it and see if you get the same reaction as when you wrote it. Lol. Thanks for the entertainment!

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  4. Chantelle says:

    actually what happens is your kids teeth will be brushed, their hair clean and brushed, their clothes clean and neat. you however will be standing there next to them with dirty teeth, sweat pants and t-shirt, messy hair and no make up. oh and dark circles under your eyes from lack of sleep and stress. and then the teen years will kick in. but yea, motherhood is awesome. (now where did i put my bottle of prozac?)

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  5. Pingback: Happy Birthablogiversary! | Magnet for Foolishness™

  6. Amy Juicebox says:

    LMFAO.
    this was hilarious.
    as a single mom (now entering terrible twos.. and yes. .it’s real) – i have a lot to say. not sure of how/if i can/should say it.
    motherhood is the most exhausting thing ever. the roi.. will (hopefully if they turn out to be good human beings) take about a couple of decades. but the ugly truth about it we’re not allow to say.
    so we keep it to ourselves..

    Like

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