FIRE!

So I couldn’t decide whether to name this post “FIRE!” or “Persistent Foolishness”. “Persistent Foolishness” is probably more appropriate but I thought “FIRE!” would get your attention better. And I was probably right. I started typing this as a Facebook status, but stopped because clearly the character limit wouldn’t enable me to tell the whole story.

Today after work, I headed to the train station as I usually do. Managed to make it there without breaking my neck, which was a shock since the streets and sidewalks are still covered with a lot of black ice. So I was temporarily overjoyed.

As I stepped onto the escalator surrounded by tons of people on the “stand” side and nobody on the “walk” side (it’s the end of the day….we’re ALL tired), I couldn’t help but notice embers tumbling down the “walk” side of the escalator AND ALL AROUND ME. And maybe embers isn’t the right word, but I tried to do a thesaurus check and I didn’t like any of the other words they suggested. So what I’m trying to say is, a dude threw his cigarette on one of the escalator steps, didn’t step on it to put it out, and then the wind fanned the flames.  So I’m standing there on fire (not really, but almost) trying to figure out where these embers are coming from and why nobody else was on fire.  So, of course, I yell out “OH MY GOD! I’M ON FIRE!” And then the cigarette dude who looks like he may have been Young Buck’s cousin, said, all in one breath, “I’m so sorry are you alright I was wondering if I could borrow something to get something to eat…” I said, “DUDE! You just caught me on fire!!! I don’t have anything to give you.” Not to mention this fool threw his lit cigarette on MOVING escalator steps during rush hour, so he could have caught the WHOLE TRAIN STATION on fire. Not to also mention that BORROW means that you PAY SOMEBODY BACK…But I digress…

So he continues with, “I’m so sorry about that but if I could just get two quarters, I could….” “NO!” I said again. Meanwhile, I’m thinking, “This has GOT to be the longest escalator ride of my life…..” He continues. “I just want to go to McDonald’s and….” “I. do not. have anything. to give you.” “Ok….thank you,” he says, as we finally reach the bottom of the escalator.

My question is this…of ALL the hundreds of thousands of people at the train station, why must I be the one to catch on fire (but not really)?? Why must I ALWAYS be the magnet? Answer me that…

No random thought or deep thought this week. This post was not planned.

But I did start to put a youtube link to Aaliyah’s “Hot Like Fire” video just for comedic effect. But I couldn’t figure out how to do it. So just pretend that it’s here.

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About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
This entry was posted in Comedy, culture, Funny, humor, Life, Personal, random, thoughts, Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to FIRE!

  1. kendra says:

    Funny!!!

    Like

  2. cherlisa says:

    WOW!!! I am glad you are ok. What the guy was trying to tell you is that he usually burns people for fun but he was willing to work for it this time, hence why he wanted money. Lol.

    Like

  3. Pingback: Happy Birthablogiversary! | Magnet for Foolishness™

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