Holiday* Tips**

1) If you buy pants from New York and Company, don’t wash them. Send them to the drycleaners. Because there is a 50/50 chance they will shrink in LENGTH. Even if you wash them in cold water and let them air dry.

2) Dried cherries are not the same as dried cranberries. Even though they kinda look alike. Now that I think about it, this actually makes perfect sense since regular cherries aren’t the same as regular cranberries. Dried cherries are a little on the gross side.

3) Apparently, a Honda Accord is not a Honda Civic….its a Honda Accord. So when it indicates that you’re on “E”, unlike the Civic, it really means it.

4) Whatever happened to the “Birthday Sex” dude? I can’t spell his name….did he come out with something else and I missed it? (I realize this is not a tip, but it was on my mind so…..)

5) If you live by yourself, there is generally only one person who is responsible for taking the clothes out of the washer and putting them in the dryer. So don’t get mad when you’re looking for something and it’s still wet.

6) You might not want to call the power company and go off on them because your bill is outlandishly high for that particular month (therefore they must’ve made a huge mistake). Because they might politely explain to you that the reason your bill is so high for the month is because you forgot to pay your bill last month.

7) Don’t overcook your salmon. It’ll wind up tasting like chicken.

8) It’s probably a good idea to make nice with at least ONE of your neighbors. Because if you lose your cell phone somewhere in the house and you don’t have a landline, you might need one of them to call you to help you find it. And they might not cooperate if they don’t like you.

9) From December to February, make sure you wash your Snuggie every other week or so. The other months of the year, you probably shouldn’t be wearing a Snuggie.

10) Try not to confuse wasabi with guacamole. You will be very sorry. Very, very, very sorry.

*Please note (in case you haven’t already): none of these tips have anything to do with the holidays.

**Please also note that these tips do not necessarily come from my personal experiences.  😉

Random thought: Did anybody besides me peep Kyle Barker (from Living Single) in the TJ Maxx/Marshall’s commercial??

Deep thought: “In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back.”—Charlie Brown


About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
This entry was posted in Comedy, culture, Fashion, Funny, humor, Life, music, Personal, pop culture, random, thoughts, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Holiday* Tips**

  1. Jania says:

    SMH…# 6……sadly I’m guilty but I realized what happened while I was on hold to speak with someone.


    • Thanks for the tips- you are always helpful in an unexpected way.

      The ‘Birthday Sex’ dude is Jermiah and I probably spelled it wrong so you should have taken a stab at it for the heck of it, but he has another song called ‘I Like’, which btw- I do like.

      It is also very important to at least speak to your neighbors so when you do need them its not so ackward. I had to rely on my neighbors across the street last week for a cell phone and I felt like a real loser cause I never acknowledged them before. #shameonme#


  2. Kisha Clark says:

    Love the tips!

    Yeah, I saw Kyle. I said to myself….self why is Kyle making a Marshall’s commercial? Has it come to that? Living Single dollars ran out?


  3. Kisha Clark says:

    Its way too cold to run out of gas! Stay away from “E.”


  4. Amber Genise says:

    Yes about Kyle!!!! I was so sad. It was easier to go to my steady, yet crazy job the next day.

    #9– you have a snuggie? I’m jealous.


  5. Sumer says:

    so true about the NY pants. I have pair that I washed that I couldn’t get the wrinkles out to safe my life! Dry cleaners from now on.


  6. Pingback: The obligatory (and tardy) New Year’s Resolution post | Magnet for Foolishness™

I want to hear from you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s