Introverts vs. Extroverts: It’s Time to Set the Record Straight

Self-reflection at its finest

Hi. I’m Sonya. And I’m an introvert. (Now you say, “Hi, Sonya.”) defines introvert in a couple of ways. The first definition it gives is “a shy person”. I happen to disagree with this definition, especially since it defines shy as “easily frightened away”, “suspicious”, “distrustful”, and “reluctant”. The second definition offered is “a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings.” I agree with the second definition more than the first, although the second one kinda makes it seem like introverts are self-centered. Normally, is my friend. But sadly, it has failed me this time.

Honestly, the first time I’d ever even heard the word “introvert” was when I was subjected to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator assessment (MBTI). It wasn’t until later that I actually learned that I was stricken with this “ailment” called introversion.

If the creators of the MBTI were still alive, I would want to meet those chix in a dark alley somewhere and drop-kick them and have a conversation with them about how, albeit unintentional, they’ve made life harder for introverts. It is amazing to me how people STILL make a strong distinction between the character or personality traits of introverts versus extroverts like it really matters. People act like the results of the MBTI are real medical test results. They begin to develop a “treatment plan” for you if your results yield any letter combination that begins with an “I”. Introverts get a bad rap! Meanwhile, extroverts get off scot-free like they’re the normal ones! Did you know there is a manual on “How to Care for Introverts”?? No joke. There is also an introvert’s guide on how to make it in the business world, an introvert’s guide to test-taking, and the list goes on and on and on. Just google “introvert” and see what comes up. I wonder if my health insurance plan covers introversion…I might call and ask them (and document that conversation for a future blog post…)

So let me clarify some things and dispel a few misconceptions for you…

What being an introvert means:

1) I am quiet. Generally speaking. Not necessarily shy—quiet. There is a difference. I observe, non-listen, reflect more, and talk less. Generally speaking. I don’t have a problem talking to you, or in front of you, IF I have something to say. If I don’t, I won’t talk for the sake of talking.

2) I don’t get my energy from you. I am quite a handful, if I do say so myself. Therefore, I’m able to self-generate all the energy I need. Thanks.

3) I value my alone time. I guess this is kinda the same as #2, huh?

What being an introvert DOES NOT mean:

1) I dislike you. You’ll just have to trust me on this one.

2) I’m afraid of/intimidated by you. Similar to the saying, “Don’t take my kindness for weakness”, please “Don’t take my quietness for fear.”

3) I’m anti-social. Au contraire mon frère. It’s just that a conversation with me will go a lot quicker. I value efficiency. For example, if I were an extrovert, a conversation with me might go something like this:

“Hey, Sonya! How was your weekend?”

“It was good! I did hot yoga, saw a movie, had dinner with some friends, did some shopping, got my hair done, went to church, got some gas, wrote a couple of blog posts, baked a cake, checked the mail (<–this may or may not be a lie), and got a massage. What’d you get into?”

“My parents came in town and we all went hiking up Mt. Wutshisface Saturday and had a picnic.”

“That sounds interesting. I’ve been saying for a while now that I wanted to hike Mt. Wutshisface.”

“Yeah, it’s really beautiful. You should check it out.”

“I will! What’d you do Sunday?”

“We rode bikes around the Mall and went to like seven of the Smithsonians. Then we hit up the Farmer’s Market and volunteered at a soup kitchen. After that we rescued a cat from a tree.”

“Cool! Talk to you later!”

But since I’m an introvert, the conversation will likely go something like this:

“Hey, Sonya! How was your weekend?”

“It was good, thanks!”

*Cuts light off and exits room. But then returns to cut light back on after realizing that you are still in there.*

See how much more efficient that was?

So the next time you pass an introvert in the hall or on the street, give ‘em a hug and tell ‘em you understand. Or don’t. Cuz that would be weird.

All the introverts in the house STAND UP!! I wanna hear from you! Sound off in the comments. And, I wouldn’t mind hearing from an extrovert or two as well ;)

And BTW, I’m on Twitter now! Follow me at @foolishmagnet

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About Magnet for Foolishness

Resident of the DMV…and my incessant thoughts. Always hungry. Comedy craver. Ice cream freak. Reality TV show junkie. Slightly opinionated. Rarely wrong. Part Lisa Simpson. Part Sue Sylvester. Part Meredith Grey. Renowned chef and baker…avid gardener…pet lover…sometimes liar. Effortlessly forgetful. Always hungry. Blindly hopeful. Easily embarrassed (NOT). Eerily observant. Searching for something. Disregarding parallelism. Chronically tardy. Ruthlessly impatient. Surprisingly affectionate. Unnecessarily long-winded.
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524 Responses to Introverts vs. Extroverts: It’s Time to Set the Record Straight

  1. RP14 says:

    Interesting and funny…I have things to say but I haven’t had my coffee…exits the comments

    • Lol to that RP14!

      I totally agree with this post- introverts process and communicate and recharge in different ways. That is not a bad thing- it can actually be argued that we are less needy, because we don’t need anyone else to recharge!

      I would love to see a future blog post on your conversation with the insurance co! ;) for real though, that would be an interesting (and entertaining!) experiment!

  2. “Introvert” or “Highly Sensitive Person”–we’re the same. Your post describes how I feel perfectly. Enjoying my quiet time is not equal to being a recluse. People are so judgmental (Extroverts and Non-HSPs)!

    I rather like my introversion–it adds an air of mystery around me. I don’t say much, but when I talk, those around me are apt to listen. (Maybe it’s just to see if my brain still works, but I can pretend it’s because they are fascinated with what’s been brewing since last I spoke…).

    Great post!

  3. Interesting post! What I’ve most taken from these personality assessments is that neither one is better than the other. The extrovert has just as much to offer intellectually as the introvert who observes everyone in the corner. We need all kinds!

    • Totally agree! I was actually surprised at how many different personality assessments were out there…the MBTI is one of about one billion!

      • Adam says:

        There are dozens of personality assessments out there, and the MBTI is honestly one of the worst. It’s an either/or test which isn’t an accurate representation of life, it has almost no validity in predicting anything relevant (which means it’s a useless test), and is in general ignored by most people doing serious research in personality anymore (it has been replaced by other measures of personality, most commonly Costa & McCrae’s NEO-PI-R).

        The only reason this test is still common at all is because it’s easier to understand than the NEO-PI-R. The MBTI clearly labels you as Extrovert or Introvert, as Thinking or Feeling (and so on). That’s a lot easier to understand than saying my average Extraversion on a 7 point likert-scale is a 3.21.

        The MBTI is a neat measure that’s easy to understand, but ultimately doesn’t matter for anything. This was still a fun post to read and I agree with all your thoughts about introverted people, because I’m pretty much the same as you in most situations.

      • nora says:

        I agree with Adamn. I am usually one of those weird people that if given and “either/or” scenario question… will think to myself “well, it depends on the day/my mood/the people involved/etc” … so to a certain extent the results of those tests for me are somewhat random. Though I skew *somewhat* towards introversion…. I am actually quite comfortable getting up in front of a large group and talking – IF I have something to say. I can get very energized by a great conversation that sparks all sorts of ideas… on the other hand I get tired out with aimless chitchat or talk of things that don’t interest me. Tests, like most things in this world made by people, are there to categorize us neatly… but what about those of us who don’t want to fall into simple boxes?

        • IntrovertAndNotLovingIt says:

          Wow! You’ve just stated exactly how I feel most of the time. I can stand up in front of a crowd or one-on-one and talk about an interesting subject – IF I know something about it. Aimless chitchat or “small talk” bores me to tears. I think that’s why I don’t like answering the telephone – especially when the called ID says it’s my in-laws or sister-in-law. Usually goes something like this: “Hello?”, I answer? “Hi, how are you doing?”, they say. “Fine,” I say. “How are you?” [At this point I've said everything I care to say unless they have a point to their phone call.] I’m not callous – I’m the first person to ask questions of someone I just met, “Where do you live, what do you do, how many kids do you have, etc.” I’ll be considerate and make someone else comfortable if we’ve just met. But don’t expect me to supply an endless number of words about my day or family just to create a conversation. There’s no point to just talking.

    • agimagamia says:

      totalmente de acuerdo soy introvertida y ps nadie te entiende

    • I’m an INFP, and I tend to disagree with Adam’s comment. While the MBTI questions do take an either-or format and force the test taker to choose, the test does provide results in the form of percentages, indicating that there is a broad spectrum. Sure there are other tests, but from personal experience, the results of those tests generally match those of the MBTI. And while the MBTI might not be the end-all test, I think it’s quite useful and can be therapeutic for understanding your personality, the personalities of those around you, and how you can better live your life.

      It’s so nice to hear that other people like quiet time, short (or no) conversations, and enjoy thinking without feeling as though they have to say something about it. Great ideas and great writing!

    • Sharon says:

      It may be true that neither one is better than the other (that’s what the test authors always say) – but extroversion is VALUED more than introversion. Extroverts think introverts aren’t really happy people or valuable – until you need them to do your taxes or edit your book. Wow! That’s a nice compliment! “You ARE valuable to me! Just go sit in a room by yourself and do my taxes! See! You do have value – but I won’t call you to go out and do something fun….because your NOT! But you are SO valuable.” Right. Not buying it.

  4. Hahaha!! This post is brilliant! I, myself, am an extrovert and have been somewhat puzzled over what makes someone an introvert, but you’ve cleared it all up for me! You are very clever and witty, as I’m sure most introverts are; that’s what I’m going to say to the next introvert that I meet – I’ll freak ‘em out with all of my uninvited compliments. ;)

    Great post and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  5. leadinglight says:

    “I am quiet. Generally speaking. Not necessarily shy—quiet. There is a difference.” so true – introverts can stand up for themselves when necessary.

  6. funny but true… so true. :)

  7. TheNewRomantic says:

    *Stands up*
    I totally agree with everything you say about being an introvert, I am one too! I laughed so much at the “how was your weekend?” “it was good thanks”, because that is exactly how I am with my colleagues. Everyone else goes into detail about their weekend or week off work, but not us introverts. I love it – great post!

  8. I am an introvert too. One thing that ticks me off is when people that I don’t even know well come up to me and say, ” you are quiet.” like I’ll talk when I have something to say! And usually when I am quiet it means I don’t know about what your are talking about well enough to contribute much so I’ll just listen to you. I like to listen and observe. There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert and I like being an introvert. But somehow people feel like we introverts need to be an extrovert because they are loud and all…

    • “…they are loud and all…” Keep doing what you’re doing. The extroverts make enough noise for ALL of us ;)

    • Belle Hamilton says:

      thank you! my coworkers do this to me all the time…one of them has even taken to calling me silent bob. It’s not like I walk up to people and go “wow, you’re really loud, eh?” Maybe I should.

      • I think you should tell people when they are being loud, I do it all the time and I am not fitting into either catagory really. I can be extroverted, which I THOUGHT meant you were assertive and would volunteer thoughts and information WITHOUT being asked. I can be introverted, which I THOOUGHT meant you were pensive, thoughtful and do not feel the need to speak UNLESS ENGAGED. What is so wrong with either choice? And when I am not talkative, everyone wants to know whats “wrong” with me. Can’t I just be quiet for a day w/o having to discover the root cause of my quiet time? They should be happy I am not jabbering away inccessently, bothering others with idle chatter. But I can and have done that and most likely will again, b/c sometimes I just like to talk. Get others to engage their brains. But being quiet, listening, observing and taking it all in is much more productive than being the guy who has to jump out in front of everything just to be recognized. What a great post. See, if you were shy, you would never even have started a blog….silly people! Congrats on Freshly Pressed!!! Enjoy the rest of your week!!! :) AmberLena

    • Oh, that is annoying. What gave people the idea it was okay to walk up to people they hardly know and make critical statements? This has happened to me many times.

  9. Cathy says:

    I don’t know if one can be both but I think I am. Introvert in general but extrovert when I’m with my close friends as well as when I blog. Haha :)

    • I think you can (kinda) be both. On the MBTI, you can be an introvert that is closer to the extrovert side or an extrovert that is closer to the introvert side. And the same with all the other categories. I honestly think that everything is situation-specific and we all have characteristics of both, given the situation we’re in at the moment.

  10. travlingirl says:

    LOL! love it – I am introvert too and you have described exactly (poo on although the first definition totally describes my mother). Congrats on being freshly pressed.

  11. howlingdesign says:

    I prefer the Highland Ability Battery definition of an introvert:
    “Often get energy and renewal from time spent by yourself.
    Find yourself somewhat drained of energy after you’ve spent a good part of yourtime interacting with others – no matter how skilled you are at it.
    Are able to concentrate on solitary tasks for long periods of time without undue
    Have a sense of choice about having or not having social interactions. (Extroverts usually feel they must have contact with others to be happy.)
    Like time to reflect before responding and to think before acting.
    Like quiet for concentration and reflection in developing ideas.
    Prefer to communicate by writing.
    Tend to be more private and contained and like structure in relationships and interactions; you prefer to have a reason to interact with others.
    Learn best by pausing to digest and think.”
    Yay introverts!

    • Interesting…I’ve never heard of this before. Will have to google it…

      • Belle Hamilton says:

        If you read the Highly Sensitive Person or Raising your Spirited Child (it’s a parenting book but has some interesting psych behind it) they explain this really well. Extroverts re-energize by being around others, introverts re-energize when they are by themselves. So if extroverts spend too much time by themselves, they feel really under-stimulated, while if introverts spend too much time around others, they feel over stimulated. I really like this way of looking at it. If ever I feel the need to spend a night at home alone watching a movie, I like to think of it as re-energizing – makes it sound self-indulgent, like a treat, and very zen.

    • meexio says:

      Fits me perfectly!

  12. When you find the Myers-Briggs people in an alley, give me a call :)

  13. Hi. I’m Mikalee. And I’m an introvert. (Now you say, “Hi, Mikalee…”)

    There are so many misconceptions about what “introversion” means. I’m so glad you clarified! As a freelance writer and blogger and former college instructor, people wonder how I can possibly BE an introvert. But I am…through and through…

    I am, however, also socially adept. As are many of us!

    Great post…

  14. I loved this. It spells me exactly. LOL

  15. cityplantation says:

    I will help you drop kick MBTI. I completely disagree with “lableing” people in such a way. I mean have you ever seen an “intovert” hanging out with there close friends that they are comfortable with? oesnt seem very “introvert” to me…

  16. Thanks for clearing the air. I grew up as a lone introvert surrounded by a family of loud, extroverted people. My own son is one of those people who must be surrounded by friends and doing something with other people 24-7 which would drive me absolutely nuts, and he did when he was growing up and constantly had a horde of his various acquaintances and friends invading the house. I think the best way to describe an introverted personality is that we gain energy in our alone, contemplative time, while extroverts derive their energy from their interactions with other people.

    btw: I was identified as one of the most bizarre of the MBTI types- both times I took the test, about ten years apart- INTP. Go figure.:)

    I like conversation and interaction with certain people, and participating in certain social situations, but for me too much social interaction and being surrounded by people is positively draining.

    Introversion does not mean anti-social, just that we want to spend our time and energy on those people and social interactions that are meaningful to us. I’ve found that it’s a lot easier to relate to dogs. They don’t argue, talk back, or ask me for money.

  17. suromano says:

    I am quiet…and supposedly an introvert. I am my own best friend, but I think that’s because I hold too many secrets and don’t trust anyone…which is sad.

  18. I recently discovered that I too am an introvert. As far as I can tell, it’s roughly the personality equivalent of being left-handed in a world designed for the right-handed. However, many still think being an introvert means you are broken. No one in this day in age would say that of a left-handed person. I’m reading a book called “Networking for People Who Hate Networking” it covers communication between introverts and extroverts and promotes understanding of our differences.
    I’m not broken, I’m just wired differently, so stop treating me as if I were broken!

  19. evelinslc says:

    Fantastic post. I, too, am characterized as an introvert and it has given some grief when others realize this. I’m happy to hear someone else also values efficiency in conversation and doesn’t just speak to hear themselves talk. If someone wants more elaboration, they’ll ask more pointed questions anyway.

    Congrats on the freshly pressed!

  20. gii says:

    if I’m not talk much for your liking,it’s probably I dont have much interest in you or I’m,my self an introvert! *that I am*
    dont accused me something like I’m intiminated by you…
    good post… you or I’m,my self an introvert! *that I am*
    dont accused me something like I’m intiminated by you…
    good post…

  21. jaydeejapan says:

    I’m also an introvert, an observer, a listener, and a generally quiet person. This has lead to people asking if I’m ok at parties while I’m just listening to others. They ask me what’s wrong, when nothing is wrong. They try to “fix” me by getting me to get a bit crazy. When I’m with friends, I don’t shut up. I’m actually quite talkative around people I know well. But when there are people I don’t know, I observe, judging the people and seeing if I like them enough to talk with them. But you see, I’ve been a call centre supervisor, and I’m currently an English teacher, both of which required me to be very talkative, but also a good listener. Because of my ability to listen and observe, I’m a pretty good judge of character, and as a result, I tend to be able to handle people with almost any kind of personality. Introverts can actually have very good people skills :)

  22. Lindsay says:

    I’m an INFJ and I totally “get” this. I can’t stand it when extroverts “call you out” in public. LIke, “You’re so quiet!” as if there is something wrong with that. I think if more extroverts understood us introverts, it wouldn’t be so hard to be one from time to time. Ya know? Thanks for this article!

  23. I loved this post, as sometimes I don’t quite know which I am, intro or extro!?!?!?! The only thing that would make me feel like an extrovert is that when I know you, you will not hear the end of me. However I don’t submit strangers to this type of torture (just doesn’t seem fair really).

    Really don’t like that we are apparently socially inept in some way because we’re quiet or dont mind spending time alone. To be perfectly honest I think we should question the extroverts inability to spend more than 2 hours on their own!

    Going to stop before this turns into a rant! Congrats on getting freshly pressed! x

  24. ander'SON says:

    Classic… I’m an INTJ… Totally understand… “The less decisive are a bothersome group.” – Me

  25. advizor54 says:

    I love the Myers-Briggs assessment. It nailed me and my communication style and gave me some real insight into why I hate my current job but love my last one. To be fair, I also had a great workshop facilitator who helped me go beyond my MB rating to see deeper. I always considered myself an introvert. I have few close friends, while I can be witty and outgoing in a social situation, I tend to keep to myself at parties or 1 or 2 people. I don’t need to know your opinion about me, nor will I give you my opinion on anything unless you force me two, however….

    My facilitator pointed out that I got my ‘energy’ from other people. She saw that I did my best work when bouncing ideas off other people, even when the ideas came from them. I would spin them just a touch to make them interesting, and then reflect it back so they could re-evaluate their own perspectives. The introversion aspects of self-reflection, indiviuality, independance from groupthink, and the ability to analyse and decide without the group chiming in, are wonderful qualities. Introverts (and I resisted putting that word in quotes for some reason) simply come at the same information in a different way, but I know, as I look at you, your wheels are spinning and if I just give you a few more minutes of quiet, that you’ll come up with an idea that will blow my socks off.

  26. Hi, my name is Kathy and I”m an Introvert. As such, I’d like to officially acknowledge the brilliance of this post! End of story———————-
    Kathy, the Quiet

  27. I am an extravert who happens to love Myers-Briggs. You know I like you if I try to type you. Strange, yes.
    I hate to have to tell you this, but you may never get your chance to meet those chix because they’re no longer living. But if you did somehow meet them, please withhold your drop kick and send ‘em my way. We’ll have lunch and gab time, assuming they’re extraverts too. :)
    Congratulations on Freshly Pressed!

  28. Kristin says:

    Introverts unite! …Quietly. And by ourselves.

    I’m job searching right now, and the most frequent criticism I’ve gotten from friends and family is that I need to be more extroverted. No, I don’t. I just hate small talk, and would rather read a book.

    • This criticism that you receive from your friends and family, are you receiving this same criticism from past/current/future employers? I’m not in a position to offer career advice since I don’t know the whole situtation, but the source of the criticism is something to consider…

  29. charliesbend says:

    Great distinctions. well said.

  30. katblogger says:

    I’m a total introvert. Being around people for more than a few hours exhausts me. I’m probably also antisocial, but that’s a whole different problem. :P

  31. Great post, I hate feeling like I’m supposed to prattle on for no reason to be considered friendly. Have you read Party of One by Anneli Rufus? It’s along the same lines but talks about how “loners” get a bad rep. I prefer the company of people I can have real conversations with, about broad ideas, not what I ate for dinner. How is that something that must be fixed?

    Always happy when I find other people in the same boat!

  32. Sam says:

    Finally – someone who understands!! People tell me “you’re so quiet” and ask me why I am, and I just say, “Because I have nothing to say!” I don’t talk when I don’t have anything important to say – it’s that simple! Thanks for this fantastic post! I feel reassured in my position as an introvert!

  33. Kae Lily says:

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for this article! I have always been introverted and I get so tired of being called anti-social or weird because of it. Countless times, I’ve heard people say “She doesn’t like anyone” or “She’s mean. She doesn’t talk to anybody.” No, I am not and yes, I do like some people. I just usually have nothing to say.

  34. morningjoi says:

    So… since I’m an extrovert, is that why every time we talk our conversations are 2+ hours long? Am I doing ALL of the talking??! Hmph. We’ll see about that next time, ma’am!

  35. Jade says:

    I had no idea that my behavior fit into any other human beings but I display all of these things you mention about yourself. Also nothing frustrates me more than listening to peoples long explanations of their lives I wish they would get the hint when I give them answers like “Its going fine” or “It was fine” its such a waste of time when both sides are clearly just playing nice for the sake of being civil. I get judged constantly at my need to be alone and away from people on a regular basis. Its ruined every relationship iv been in (people are so clingy its terrifying) and makes me seem like a jerk. Nice no know I’m not a freak!

    Do you guys listen well enough so that you don’t absorb any information but can quickly belt out a word for word recording of everything the person just said to make them feel like a total jerk when they say “are you listening to me?”.

  36. Mary says:

    I, too, am an introvert. My go to definition is that I make my own energy and you sap it all out of me. I remember taking a personality test with about 20 other people. I was the only one who came out introverted. You can imagine how they looked at me like we just found out I have an uncurable, tragic illness.

  37. nlsthzn says:

    Hi, my name is Neil… and I am an… Introvert…

  38. Dev says:

    Can relate a lot to what you said.
    I have my own take on this…
    Under general circumstances, extroverts are more aggressive. Now what I find is that their aggression is in posture. That is, aggression for the sake of aggression
    But according to me, what matters is that aggression in intent is more important than that in posture.
    But everyone has a right to an opinion.
    So I am all ears for what extroverts have to say. :-)

  39. Excellent post as I am an introvert as well and can totally relate to you on this topic! Thanks for the inspiration.

  40. epublius2010 says:

    Hi, Sonya! I too consider myself an introvert and thoroughly enjoyed your post. You said what I’ve felt for a long time. Thanks! :o)

  41. I wish there was something called an intro/extrovert. I started out as an introvert and in the past few years became more outgoing to the point of being known for making friends easily. But even as an introvert I made friends easily, just in a different way! Depending on my mood, I’ll feel more or less introverted or extroverted.

    • laurensmarque says:

      I am the same way — my “-traversion” is rather unpredictable. Personality tests frustrate me because for each question, the different traits all seem to describe me, just at different points in time. I am very gregarious and talkative around most people, but the longer I am with them, the more I feel the need to get away soon. I think the way that I would explain it is that, as mostly an introvert, I gain energy alone and expend it with others. However, I have come to see that expending energy with others is almost always very rewarding. So, I expend all the energy I have, then retreat when I must. My goodbyes tend to be short because I overestimate my limit a little sometimes, enjoying the situation as I did.

  42. I totally agree that we respond to specific situations, and I like what you wrote about extroverts getting off scott-free. Why is one treated as though it’s so much better than the other? That kind of thinking followed me all the way through school, and it was awful always being told I was “wrong” somehow. These days, I just think that there’s way too emphasis placed on personality testing. Who wants to be pigeon-holed like that?

  43. Jenny says:

    Thanks for standing up for the introverts! I guess we needed a champion since most of us were off quietly amusing ourselves.

  44. ozarkdreams says:

    Introverts and extroverts and the meanings of the terms are misunderstood. Introverts recharge their batteries by being alone, extroverts by being with other people. Introverts tend to be observers and quiet doers. Extroverts want to be in the action, introverts don’t need to be in the action, they like doing it quietly, with less need to be recognized. Introverts can be more self-sufficient. Extroverts are more likely to want to be in charge, intorverts don’t need to be in charge. Neither is better than the other. Both are valuable. Neither is better or worse than the other. Remember there are a lot of insecure, emotionally unstable stars acting for attention.

    I spent 25 years as a psychotherapist and was qualified to administer the Meyers-Briggs and interpert it. Now I’m retired.

  45. emisformaker says:

    As one of only two introverts out of the 40 people in my theatre arts program in college, I’d like to chime in on this subject. Just because my preferred working style is to be alone and to be quiet doesn’t mean I don’t possess the capacity for loud, boisterous behaviour. Being on stage, in the very centre of attention, is one of the greatest places to be – just not 24/7.
    Side-note: not only did we both turn up introverts, we both turned up INT’s. Everyone else turned up ESFJ.

  46. tkatchev616 says:

    So interesting! I used to characterize myself as an introvert up until a couple years ago… now I’m the loudest and most bubbly personality in my place of work. Sometimes I miss being that person that always thought to myself instead of (or at least before) speaking. Kudos to you introverts!

    • Does it matter? says:

      what meds are you taking now that you weren’t then? It’s been my experience that’s what makes an introvert an extrovert

  47. phoenix1331 says:

    Love this post! Very fun. Yes, I enjoy the company of my own thoughts. I am capable of entertaining myself for hours without the need for external input. I am happy in my own skin. I can talk your ears off if I care to, but mostly I will listen until I have something worthwhile to say. Yep. I don’t need to hear the sound of my own voice to know that I am alive and have something to contribute to life.

  48. Very interesting post!
    I am not sure if anybody is purely an introvert or extrovert. I guess you know about yourself :-)
    People would probably generally describe me as an extrovert, but I am very private about a lot of things. As I advance in my age, I value my alone time more.
    Here is a thing, I am intimidated by introverts – I always assume they are deeper, better and smarter than a bubbly extrovert like me. (Like I used to be, I guess :-))

  49. Chris Drummonds says:

    This post was on-point.

    I thought the part about “I am quiet” was interesting. It bothers me when my extrovert friends used to say stuff like, “you need to talk more.” Well, if I’ve got nothing of importance to say, what’s the point of aimlessly taking?

    Anyway, again, great post.

  50. aschmid3 says:

    This is me to the letter! I HATE it when people call me out for being so quiet. Usually, I either have nothing I want to add to the conversation or I would simply rather listen. I cannot stand people who talk just to hear themselves talk, yet they are considered more well-adjusted, socially anyway.

  51. Amanda says:

    This made me laugh out loud! I too am an introvert with extrovert tendencies. Mostly introvert or ‘an observer’ as I like to say. It doesn’t mean that I don’t like someone, am shy, or stand-offish (as I’ve been called). I just don’t ever feel the need to be the center of attention and if I like you, I’ll make the effort :)

    Nice blog!

  52. Great post, I am an introvert. It’s true, not a lot of people understand why introvert act and do the things that they do. But I discovered a book called “The Introvert Advantage (How To Thrive in an Extrovert World), by Marti Laney. This was manna from heaven after I read this. It talks about the neurotransmitters in the brain between introverts and extroverts. Believe it or not, introverts are over sensitive to dopamine. Too much stimulation is exhausting. Extroverts can’t get enough of it. They in fact, thrive off of it. Introverts are deep thinkers, which is why in a public setting it can be tiring in that type of environment because there is so much activity going on and to absorb. It’s not that they don’t like public settings, just not for as long. As far as being shy, introverts are more analytical and critique themselves with responses they receive. Extroverts simply spit out what they think right then and there. Introverts don’t like small talk or having a conversation just for the sake of talking. They like to have a meaningful discussion, something worthwhile that is of value. They also pick their friends few and carefully. Once you’re in with an introvert, rarely will that ever change, you are in for good. Believe it or not, there are many famous people who are introverts. To name a few, Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, Michael Jordon, and then you have the obvious ones, Albert Einstein, or Abraham Lincoln.
    I am so glad you posted this about introverts, there’s only 25% of us in the world and I think the other 75% need to have a better understanding why we do and act the way we do. The book explains a lot more clearly than I could ever do. But there are different categories of introverts and extroverts. That part was really interesting to read.

  53. nickelbeck says:

    Introvert here, and proud of it! I have a hard time starting a conversation, or meeting new people. Some women in this new neighborhood I live in act as if I am a snob. It’s not that, I just have a hard time opening up to people I do not know. I much prefer not talking, because of social anxiety. It’s not that I hate people, I just do not know how to communicate and relate to them. Weird.

  54. k8edid says:

    “…Find yourself somewhat drained of energy after you’ve spent a good part of your time interacting with others – no matter how skilled you are at it.
    Are able to concentrate on solitary tasks for long periods of time without undue
    stress….Prefer to communicate by writing.”

    This has ME written all over it. I am exhausted hanging around people who talk incessantly, but LOVE people who write prodigiously!!!

  55. momsomniac says:

    I dislike personality tests of any kind. I’ve never been able to see the value in labeling people. Each of us, as you state in a reply above, behaves in a situation-dependent manner.

    Congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  56. nutmegthetuba says:

    I’m an introvert. Another thing that it means to me is that, although I am definitely not antisocial, I do like to spend time by myself or with a smaller group of friends… big groups of people wear me down like nothing else! I’m glad you posted this! :)

  57. I recently found out that I was an introvert and it made so much sense. I was relieved to know I was not crazy. There is a blog that has interesting articles on the subject on Psychology Today (

    It’s Adam Young (of Owl City) that opened my eyes on introversion with this post (

  58. Dana Harris says:

    As a proud introvert myself, I too am HIGHLY disappointed at!!! I guess the label never bothered me too much, since I understood from early on that the designation wasn’t an insult, just another adjective to describe me. I mean, just Google “famous introverts” . . . it’s certainly no curse! But it is helpful to have a little insight as to why I act one way and other people don’t. Cheers to our “self-centeredness!” ;-)

  59. acorn74 says:

    Love this post. Congrats on being Freshly Pressed.

  60. agimagamia says:

    pues me cae mal q los introvertidos los juzgan o los discriminan eso no se hace

  61. rodsphotoart says:

    I prefer to see the I in INFP as introspective vs. introverted There was a guy who did some work after Meyer’s & Brigg (who built their work on Carl Jung’s) named Keirsey. I believe he used the word introspective rather than introvert. He wrote two books called “Please Understand Me.” And “Please Understand Me 2″ I’ve read the second one and I believe it just tweaks some things from the first one.

    Any way…INFP’s of the world UNITE!

  62. I remember taking the Myers-Briggs extended personality test at a career center, for like 2 dollars (GASP!) and I landed right in between INFJ (or something like that) and ENFJ .. introverted and extroverted. It didn’t even lean 1% toward either one. Split right the middle. I wanted my 2 bucks back.


  63. Rachel says:

    I feel your pain!! Every personality/MBTI/career path test I’ve ever had to take had me pegged as an introvert. Suggested careers for introverts? Accounting. Law. Anything where hours spent alone trump human contact. I think it’s time for an MBTI upgrade!

  64. toritease says:

    Enjoyable post. I don’t agree entirely with introverts are quiet — it’s more like they’re less willing to share how they truly feel and some cover it up by talking incessantly to others about trivial matters that does not concern themselves.

  65. judithornot says:

    Great post! I’d say something like “Introverts unite!,” but I’m busy with my own stuff right now. :-)

  66. Jolyn says:

    This post is fab and very true! People tell me all the time that I am quiet and I just smile. The funny thing with me is that I am not physically able to talk beyond a certain volume so I sometimes don’t see the point of talking at all in certain cases (ie. a loud ass club). However, I am an introvert especially when I don’t know the person. However, I have my talkative moments. I like the air of mystery as someone post earlier.

  67. So true, so many times people define introverts as anti-social, or not liking people, when the opposite is often true. Some introverts care so much about people that they limit the amount of friends they have in order to devote focused time and energy on the most important relationships they have. Deep relationships take hours of time and effort, and depth is what many introverts thrive on.

  68. moonchild11 says:

    Proud introvert! Myers-Briggs was actually a positive experience for me. I thought I was weird or messed up for not wanting to be around people all day and for valuing my alone time. But M-B taught me that that was just part of me and that it’s okay to be myself!

  69. meexio says:

    Love this. I feel like I am misunderstood because I’m “quiet.” As everyone stated, sometimes I just like to listen and reflect since I don’t have much to contribute. When I want time to myself it’s seen as being selfish on most accounts I have encountered. But the only thing is, I can be an extrovert in conversations too…like when I’m with another introvert and it’s quiet or with an extrovert but most of the time it’s a simple “I’m good, thanks. And you?” It just depends on who it is and our relationship. I’m a pretty balanced person and flexible in my surroundings. I don’t like to think that I’m either this or that, like my character/personality is black and white. Sometimes it’s just the mood I am in and most of the time I try to make the most of all my opportunities. At the end of it all, where ever you place yourself on these tests, I think it’s most important that you know who you are.

    • “At the end of it all, where ever you place yourself on these tests, I think it’s most important that you know who you are.” Exactly. And more than likely, you won’t need a written personality assessment to tell you who you are.

  70. I guess I am an introvert close to the extrovert side. I love your article. Cheers for us!

  71. allijyoocy says:

    HAHAHAHA! Standing and proud.

  72. Damon Corrigan says:

    This is a cool post. I am a self-proclaimed introvert as well, although I play act at being extroverted really well. I don’t mind being up on stage singing, or making a speech – I have learned to channel that nervous energy into my performance. But in social situations, I generally prefer to be the wallflower, watching and learning more than participating and wanting to be noticed. Usually, me being noticed at a party tends to go very badly.

    But, if I ever see you in a hallway, I will give you a hug, and we can rejoice in a second in our mutual introvertedness.

  73. I think that perhaps it’s not whether a person is an Introvert or Extrovert but what side comes out when, where, and with who. For example many people I don’t know at parties or in large groups of people would see me as the “anti-social, lame” introvert, but when I’m with my friends one on one or alone I’m out going Im personable and basically extroverted.
    I don’t know that I have met some one who is only an introvert or only an extrovert, every person I have encountered has both within them, the soul is made up of a little of everything.

  74. coostickshq says:

    I like being an introvert

  75. Introverts are innately self-sufficient–too cool. And we don’t have to answer a ringing phone either!

  76. natasiarose says:

    Great post! I’m definitely more introverted, partially because I like my privacy. I would rather ask someone else a ton of questions and let them do the talking.

  77. ceezpaul says:

    I appreciate your perspective greatly. As an introvert as dubbed :) I have often been misjudged as being aloof, intimidating, and the likes. I enjoy being with me, but also like a good time with close friends and loved ones. Life doesn’t have to always be bubbly. Introverts certainly help to restore the order necessary in things and places. We are unique, I guess I should say, like the extroverts? They are unique too, except like you said, we Introverts are often treated like we need some medicine or something. It is beautiful being quiet – we listen, speak when necessary and as someone rightly said, once we arrive, there is a certain mystery that surrounds us, makes people wonder..hmm I wonder what she has that makes her such a “Gem” as I was told. :)
    Thank you for your creative written work.

  78. Pingback: Introverts vs. Extroverts: It’s Time to Set the Record Straight (via Magnet for Foolishness) | Seeing Orange

  79. We’re an extroverted dominated society, so it CAN be hard for some introverts, especially if they have strong needs to adapt to social norms and/or if they are around extroverts that don’t understand not everybody relates socially the same way. Being extroverted can be just as much of an “ailment”, particuliarly needy types who can’t generate their own energy or stand to be alone.
    Extroverts can be shy (and often afraid of talking to superiors, strangers or large groups) and introverts can be very talkative (when they have something to say and the space to say it) – the terms refer to how people come to understand the world (internally or externally) and socially relate, not to how quiet they are or aren’t. Nothing is worse though than a pushy extrovert that has nothing to say but won’t shut-up…
    It’s also interesting that Plato’s familiar quote, “Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something” can be seen as calling introverts wise and extroverts fools!

    (Which is of course unfair, as soicety depends on all types of people)…

  80. egoonting says:

    show on npr just covered this nearly exactly. We introverts sure are complicated on the inside for how efficient and streamlined we like to be on the outside. Great read.

  81. I’m an introvert. And I’m shy. Very shy.

    But I hate that definition of shy. Cause I’m not at all like that. I get nervous around new people but when I get to know them I’m open and conversational. Just takes awhile is all.

    And I like my shyness. I love being introverted as well. I like the quiet and unless I have something to say I don’t really feel the urge to say anything. Just seems so very pointless to do that.

  82. Pingback: Introverts vs. Extroverts: It’s Time to Set the Record Straight (via Magnet for Foolishness) | virgo makes a stand.

  83. journeychris says:

    As an introvert I have contemplated many times about writing a manual on
    “How to care for extroverts.” Trying to figure out how to bundle the book with a roll of duct tape.

  84. Pingback: Introverts vs. Extroverts: It’s Time to Set the Record Straight (via Magnet for Foolishness) « tophersmada

  85. You are so right about the limitations of these categories. Even the introvert/extrovert dichotomy is problematic for me. I don’t feel like an introvert — I think I’m pretty social and talkative — but people are always telling me I’m “quiet.” I think I’m reflective, which may mean that I think/process BEFORE talking rather than thinking/processing BY talking. (But not always!) Maybe I observe and respond, rather than initiating? My point is, there are so many different ways to try to categorize our behaviors…… so many lenses through which to view them…. but any lens we use will provide a limited view at best.

    I enjoyed your post. I do think our culture over-values extroversion and action, tending to view introversion, and reflection, in a negative light. Thanks for the food for thought!

  86. zookyshirts says:

    I really like your post about introverts, especially your two lists about what it means and doesn’t mean to be an introvert. I’m certainly an introvert, and I agree with your points. Being quiet much of the time means you can ponder and absorb the world — a good thing, in my opinion.

  87. Craig says:

    I know myself to be both, introverted and extroverted. However, for me the dynamic is different. I never saw myself as feeding off of people’s energy, it is actually their attention that feeds me, and to get their attention I would give away all my energy. When I was young I would do this until I was drop-dead exhausted and/or in jail (not really, but close). Then, I would have to go and hide under a rock until I recovered my energy and sense of pride. As I got older and wiser (kind of), I learned to only feed on the attention of the people who I found to be worthy of my energy… or in other words, the people who I liked and respected. You see, it was an interesting lesson for me to learn, that the people who were the easiest to get the attention of were never the best people to give my energy to.

    Have fun,

    • charoglez says:

      I think I’m very much like you. I also got older but, I’m afraid, not that wise, as I’m still trying to get the attention of people who doesn’t care enough for me.
      Anyway, I’m not sure if I’m more of the estrovert or the introvert type. I open up and socialise quite easily and tend to speak too much (I’m afraid), but I need to spend lots of time alone and have my own space to rest and recover from all that socilizing.
      Then, Am I an introvert who’s taking antidepressants?
      Or am I just another nice neurotic?

  88. klownboy says:

    Consider me a member of “Team Introvert”. For some reason my wife still does not understand that and wants to engage over crappy “reality” TV…

  89. rkvin says:

    You hit on some good pointers on being a introvert. I too am a introvert from the womb to now but when I need to put on a different hat are take the lead I’m very capable of doing that, wink.

  90. frieson3 says:

    Great post! I’m an introvert. I had to write about this on my blog as well! Thank you for explaining this to the world! Introvert people rock! We don’t waste valueable time giving out information not asked for.

  91. Thank you, thank you, thank you for speaking out on behalf of misunderstood introverts.

  92. ashrowell says:

    Haha, LOVE this!! Number one is my fav. My friends in high school used to tell everyone that if I had something to say, they’d better listen because it was most likely important!

  93. Cody Mitts says:

    I think extroverts are scared of us introverts because they can’t handle us being being quiet and not talking constantly. We get a bad rap because we are comfortable just listening. It’s good to know we’re not alone!

  94. classicjean says:

    As an extrovert, I find introverts and their secrecy incredibly appealing. They tend to be wittier, as they tend to put more thought and reflection into the conversation. Go introverts.

  95. ziajen says:

    Love your blog! I’m an E – wordy and excitable and my voice gets louder and louder the more fun I’m having… sorry! In my defence, I’ll say that I learned about the I and E scale from a good teacher and I can share with you that the main difference between the two of us lovely duracel bunnies is our power source. It seems you have rechargeable batteries… you can enjoy rip-roaring fun, banging that drum, out in the sun with everyone else for just so long but then like to go somewhere peaceful to recharge and process all the fun you’ve had and what you’ve learned. I’m powered by solar panels… the longer I’m out there the more I enjoy banging that drum and drinking it all in! We’re both happy bunnies though! Well it made sense to me…

  96. I was just going to write a blog about the same topic and came across yours.
    My husband considers me to be an anti social extrovert as I do not like social scenes but have no problem expressing my point of view and controlling tough situations. All my life I have been considered an out going person, when in reality I would rather be alone. I just always seem to get into situations where I feel the truth needs to be told or someone needs to be “straightened out”. I definitely have an opinion and have a job where I get to express it. I like the definition of introverts deriving their energy from within and not their surroundings. I do not need any prompting from the outside to get me into any more trouble.
    I do not like labels as they create preconceived opinions.

  97. James Claims says:

    My sister is an introvert. She’s often absorbed with her own thoughts and locks on on whatever she’s occupied with. During these phases, she has no need for social interaction because she derives everything from what she is doing. But knowing her, that doesn’t deter her from being the life of the party or being shy. In fact, she’s the least shy person I know because she’s not obsessed with how other people view her. She’ll just do what she thinks needs to be done and in social circumstances, she’ll just say what she wants to say. Given how intelligent she is, that often means she has a lot to say. She definitely fits the #2 above, where she does not derive her energy from others, it’s from herself, which makes her a very powerful individual.

  98. gaycarboys says:

    That Myers Briggs has a lot to answer for. It got me wrong as well by a long shot. It’s kind of funny really. I love a bit of an introvert!

  99. FlowXperience says:

    Thank you for posting this!!!

  100. ceciliag says:

    I think that there are a lot of introverted people in the World of Blog. Doesn’t mean we don’t have lots to say though!! Also introverts are sometimes a tiny bit lazy.. me.. and we really just cannot be BOTHERED getting into it!!

  101. It’s funny to really analyze how people react and take in information about themselves discovered from a test that doesn’t take into account their own personal differences and quirks. Depending on the quirk sometimes it can have a really big difference on the outcome! In other words people shouldn’t take these tests so seriously. :p

  102. bvulcanius says:

    I really like that you brought this to our attention. The tests always pretend like it doesn’t matter whether you’re an extrovert or introvert, but all the people interpreting these tests usually mistake introversion for a personality flaw. I’m an introvert myself, and what I kind of missed in your post is how you cope in situations where you meet new people. That’s a giant hurdle for me, probably because I think that they expect me to be really outgoing during those first conversations and I fear that they’ll see me as boring or rude if I just behave like my normal self.

    • As I stated in my post, I’m not (what I think of as) a shy person. So in situations where I meet new people, I’m not afraid to talk to them and I’m not easily intimidated. But I’m also not excessive–excessively touchy-feely, or excessively chatty to the point where it comes across as fake. Like I said in some of the other comments, everything is situation and person-specific. You have to gauge the situation you’re in to determine how you’re going to act and react. Generally speaking, if you do what comes naturally at that moment (whether it is leaning more towards introverted or extroverted tendencies) that’s when you’ll come across most genuine, which I think is what’s most important.

  103. thoughtfactory says:

    I think the perception of introverts is quite “democratic” in it’s origin, rather than being precise. It’s largely shaped by the abundantly available extroverts because you know, introverts won’t really care to contribute their bit to any perception-in-the-making. That said, the perception makes sense to extroverts only :)

  104. CREE-EIGHT says:

    If most of your readers were introverts, by your description, wouldn’t be too many comments would there?

  105. Alpha Juliet says:

    I am so glad to see something here about Introversion, right on freshly pressed! Its about time that people start to learn that introversion is not a social disease, it doesn’t mean we are cold, bitchy, aloof, uninterested, formal, shy, or antisocial. However, that is what most of the world thinks, because most people are extroverts. TV, media, and society is built around the idea that being an extrovert is the ideal. Unfortunately, most people aren’t educated about introversion, and therefore dismiss it as something less than normal. A proud introvert myself, I recently read a book entitled, “The Introvert Advantage”, and found it quite educational about the topic. Apparently, we have lots of traits that extroverts do not. Also, introverts tend to be 1 inch wide and a mile deep, while extroverts tend to be a mile wide and an inch deep, if that makes any sense. Extreme extroverts can sometimes even feel uncomfortable in the prescence of an introvert: they think we are wierd. Whereas, introverts may feel that an extrovert is superficial, shallow. A lot of previous personality tests and popular psychology was presented from an extrovert’s point of view, and the stigma of being an introvert has lived on, even though psychology now knows that it is not a social disease.
    Thanks for posting this!! I am so glad to see it! :) And congrats!
    Alpha Juliet (an introvert)

  106. huffygirl says:

    I too find it annoying when introverts are not valued. We are the deep thinkers of society. We get things done. We don’t make promises we can’t keep. Meanwhile our extrovert counterparts are too busy giggling and partying to get much done. Give me the sincere work of an introvert any day. Here’s an interesting link from the Dianne Rehm show on the same topic.
    And congrats on being FP’d by the way.

  107. stevebetz says:

    I agree that there seems to be something negative being associated these days with being labeled an introvert. I used to require a good deal of external validation when I was younger and thought I had to have a “big personality”. These days, I think I have one, but don’t really feel compelled to share it that much — and hopefully not OVER-share it! I’ve learned to really value quiet, reflective times.

    Good post.

  108. Smplefy says:

    Good piece. I share the frustration.

    I attended a class in New York City several years back where we all took the Myers Briggs.
    The class memeber were surprised that I was classified as an introvert because of my outgoing vocal, funny style.

    The point was driven home the morning of the second day when we were asked what we did after class the night before.

    The guy next to me was an Extrovert. He went to a bar in Times Square and hung out all night talked to people. I went to laundromat, did my laundry, got a piece of pizza and a diet coke which I ate in my room. The next night, I hopped a train uptown and walked about 40 blocks back to my hotel. The fact was that the class took a lot out of me and I needed to recharge.

  109. NDP says:

    As an introvert myself I get exactly what you’re saying. Yeah, I can be sociable, I talk, I like the company of others, I just like to choose when. Well said.

  110. mark jabbour says:

    Good post. I am flexible, but my son is very much an Introvert & has taught me so much. Check out my post “Soul Shaker.” and try the big five inventory (Ocean) for an even more complicated assessment of personality. Peace.

  111. 100 percent introvert here…thanks for helping debunk some of the harmful myths about innies. Our society is so dominated by extroverts that it helps to have some voices speak up from the other side. Congrats on being FP as well!

  112. Rapster says:

    The more irritating part is when your relatives think you have some kind of autistic impairment because you’d rather not talk. The much more irritating part is when those relatives are your own parents at times. The *worst* part of all this is when you start getting an inferiority complex as a result. Man .. The world is really prejudiced.

  113. TJ Johnston says:

    Introverts (and extroverts and other personality types) beware, especially when you have to take these personality tests as part of employment screening. Most often, they are looking for employees who won’t object to questionable, unfair or illegal management practices. And the value of the these tests are debatable. Introverts, raise your voices if these exams are used against you in your job interview!

  114. Oh yes! Thank you. I’m somewhere in between (technically an ENFP) and it is slightly frustrating when people at work think I should be out partying when, really, I just want to read this book. I’m not anti-social, but shallow interactions ring hollow and tend to drain me. I’d rather spend the social energy I do have on people who are worth it.

  115. Jessica says:

    Throughout life I’ve been often misunderstood and thought of as “stuck up” because I am quiet. I too like to watch and listen. I can talk, A LOT, if I know my conversation partner well or I have something to say. I agree that I like my interactions to have meaning. I’m not very good with small talk and often give short answers to questions like “how was your weekend” as well.

    I enjoyed your reflection on our personality style – congrats on being freshly pressed too! :-)

  116. Amazing blog, really described us introverts well.

  117. Tyler says:

    Great post ! Thank you! Thank you!! Thank you!!!

  118. Hi, Sonya!
    So glad you posted this because I’m really talkative, but always score very high in the introvert category. I love to talk to random people, people in grocery lines, whoever I bump in to. But, I prefer to work alone, I love my time alone, I don’t like crowds of people, and I’m not a big party person. When asked about some little-known fact about me, I always say I’m an introvert. And I’m proud of it!

  119. Wow simply wow I agree with everything you’ve said and I am so glad you posted it. I too am an introvert and most everyone I know treats me different or they don’t understand how I can be happy when I spend so much time alone. Silly people, I like you, but I am just as happy on my own, why can’t you let it be?

    So glad I read this :D

  120. All I have to say is…
    Exactly Right.

    Good Job, and Great post.

  121. snowepatrol says:

    I completely agree! There’s nothing wrong with not talking if you have nothing to say. I think too many people assume if someone isn’t talking that they don’t like them/something is wrong with the person not talking. Us introverts tend to think before we speak, that’s all. (& on a side note, that’s what a lot of politicians should do more of)

  122. metaplastic says:

    Actually, the creator of MBTI was an introvert herself. Specifically she was INFP.

    The original actual definitions of extraversion/introversion have less to do with how quiet or not quiet you are but how you process information. Extraverts feel the need to take information and relate it to the exterior world, while introverts prefer to internalize their information. I recommend this video if you’re interested:

    Over time the definitions of introvert and extravert have morphed into the cultural stereotypes we know today. If you want to meet more introverts I highly recommend the Personality Cafe forum. Yes, it is a forum based off of Myers Briggs, but it’s a place where people discuss and embrace their introversion or extraversion.

  123. reading4me says:

    Hi, Yes, I am an Intro… People think Im dumb, or uneducated, or unable to communicate effectively, if we dont go into the long weekend conversation. I just dont think its necessary to always go on and on, and I have noticed that sometimes if you go on and on the person can seem bored with the conversation, hence-intro.. I thought your blog was awesome, and I enjoyed all the comments as well. Congrats on FP!!

  124. Vera says:

    This was great. Thanks Sonya!

    At a women’s conference recently the leader divided us into 2 groups – you guessed it, extroverts and introverts. She asked each group “what’s the one thing you want the others to know about you?” You covered the main points here Sonya. For me, the key point was – just because I’m quite does not mean I’m boring, fearful or selfish. (The extroverts had some interesting comments. This one stuck: just because we’re outgoing doesn’t mean we’re insensitive or shallow.)

    For me (as an introvert) it is all about energy. I enjoy alone time and need lots of it. With people I know, I can be funny and talkative; I’ve been called zany and quirky. When I tell them some people think I’m shy, they guffaw and beverages squirt out of their noses.

    Anyhoo, it’s great to hear from a kindred spirit. Bless you in your introversion Sonya. May you excel at it and enjoy it thoroughly!

  125. I enjoyed the post. I like that you pointed out that introverts are not shy. We just may have nothing to say on a particular subject. According to Myers-Briggs I’m an INFJ which means I have a tendency to only share what I think other people around me may be interested in. That is, if I have anything to say.

    Besides, I have to speak publicly all the time at my job. But most people consider me an introvert. I’m not the least bit scared to speak publicly…unless I have nothing to say.

  126. Gilraen says:

    Great post. I too am an introvert, actually love being one.
    However I also love being around people interacting and observing them, but they remain an (enjoyable) energy drain. I love being able to be alone and be perfectly happy being me. It recharges all my batteries.

    I don’t understand extroverts, never have, never will. But if they are happy the way they are so be it, but they are no more more normal or better than introverts. I doubt though that they will ever see it that way.

    • “I don’t understand extroverts, never have, never will.” Gilraen, in the best interest of bridging the introvert-extrovert gap, please read through some of the comments…I think there are plenty of extroverts here that can help you better understand extroverts. :)

  127. thepoolman says:

    “…I won’t talk for the sake of talking.” I wish there were a few more of you in my life. We have some friends who will make your ears fall off.

  128. Michelle L. says:

    Totally agree! I am an INTJ, and it’s hard for some people to get over my ‘aloofness’ when I really am very friendly -___-

    • INTJs in the house! I’m friendly, too! I’m actually only a borderline introvert (I was almost even on the Myers-Briggs), but I recharge by being by myself. My extremely extroverted best friend noticed I have a 72-hour window, in fact–any longer than that without some alone time, and someone’s head’s getting bitten off. I don’t tend to get called shy, but I get called “driven” a lot. It’s that efficiency thing. What’s the point of 15 minutes of meaningless small talk when you could be getting something exciting done?

  129. michelle says:

    I’m somewhere in the middle of introverted and extroverted. Depending on the day and people, I can get energy from either being alone or being with people. I do like to do a lot of alone things. I also can be quiet. I can also be loud and quite chatty at times. So I think I strike somewhere in the middle.

    One thing that annoys me is how assuming people are. I hate it when people assume they know you. I’ve had people say “you seem like an introvert”. Nope. Not. Just ask me.
    The other day someone said “do you struggle with shyness?”. Nope – not at all. I’m just quiet at times.

  130. NYT had an article about shyness and introversion recently. As I read your post I was wondering if you had seen it.

  131. We, my friend, have a similar trait: we’re both introverts. I’ve taken the MBTI at least four times now (because I always forget what my results are), and I’m pretty sure my results have been different every time, with the exception being that I’m always an introvert (which I already knew). Thanks, Meyers and Briggs.


  132. Maureen says:

    I agree that introverts get a bad rap. As an introvert myself (an INTJ), I don’t like movies where the “shy, quiet one” needs a makeover from the outgoing “free spirit.” I’m shy and quiet around people I don’t know though perfectly capable of swallowing any anxiety and rising to occasion. But I do LOVE my alone time–quiet evenings at home are almost like mini-vacations to me.

  133. Thank you so much for this post. I posted an article a while back stating some facts about introverts. It is so hard to get my friends and family to understand where I am coming from. They think I need help!

  134. hermitsdoor says:

    I suspect that bloggers tend to be introverted, because we (I do include myself, as you can tell by my avatar, “hermit”) thinking enough to write. Extroverted folks are more likely to call up and talk. I suspect that there is an relatinoship between the length of response to your blog and the degree of introversion of the respondant. I suspect that extroverted folks prefer FB, and if we really wanted to pathology human behavior, ADHD would correlate with tweeting. As you might guess, I do not own a cell phone. I did get in for the Smithsonian Folk Life Festival in July, and can get lost in museums, delightfully. Thanks for the thought. Hope all this attention is not too draining.

    • It is not draining yet! I think I’m still in the flattered phase. But check in with me again tomorrow… ;)

      • hermitsdoor says:

        It’s tomorrow! I’m catching up on blog reading while eating breakfast with peaches picked from our tree. Time to get back to picking peaches and making V-7 juice (veggies from the garden) for the year. Gardening is an inherently introverted task: lots of solitude and time to think. I will get back to reading earlier posts on rest breaks (I plan to cut wood and clean the goat barn).

        Oscar (hermits do have names)

        P. S. I found a typo in my first comment: “pathology”, should read “pathologize”.

  135. Eva McCane says:

    good clarification! i’m an extrovert to the core, but that certainly doesn’t mean i’m a bad listener, or always need people around, or crave attention at all times. thanks for sharing! nicely done.

  136. Bethany says:

    Sadly, American society caters to extroverted personalities. That’s why we “need” guides on how to survive in business, in relationships, etc. Problem is, I don’t think they work. My roommates know I’m an introvert and what that means and they still constantly ask me if I’m okay and whisper behind my back. Makes me sad but they should probably sit down and read one of those guides!

  137. Being an introvert is pretty nice because it forces other people to work at getting to know me, which helps to indicate who really wants to be my friend and who is just passing time with me chit-chatting.

  138. As a lifetime introvert (who stumbles foolishly into extraverted situations accidentally on purpose) I love this post. I post frequently about our introverted natures and the strange situations we sometimes find ourselves in. I’m going to link my blog to yours, as well as provide you a link to a recent “innie” post ( Feel free to reciprocate if you’re so inclined.

    P.S. – please, DON’T hug the next introvert you see. It might be me, and I loathe being touched by others. :-)

  139. acanthuseve says:

    OMG this post is the internal rant I have with myself all. the. time. I feel you perfectly captured what most introverts think and feel. I have tried many a time to speak for the sake of speaking, and am usually met with a blank stare and the sound of crickets….. so I’ve given up on that. I mean honestly, if one reeeeaaalllly listens to the garbage fluff that comes out of the mouths of people who talk endlessly about nothing, they should applaud us for keeping the convo streamlined and brief. I do have to say it’s completely refreshing to know I’m not alone.

  140. Very well put. These personality tests have only a little more validity than the astrological charts they supplanted, and yet dictate many institutional and social areas in our lives. I notice it most strongly in the education field, as an English prof at a Toronto college. Numerous different “learning styles” have been identified over the years (the more grants for this research, the more styles are discovered) and they become a mandatory factor in teaching. Introvert and extrovert figure prominently, as do tactile/kinaesthetic and visual/verbal. Since every “learning style” must be met, the result has been one of the most astounding balls-up I’ve ever seen.

    What I find especially ironic is that all of this is accompanied by a growing demand that we not “label” each other.

  141. Angie~Lah says:

    I’m one of those weirdos that go between introversion and extroversion. Sometimes I feel like being an extrovert, and sometimes I just want to be quiet, left alone. I’m a cusp baby (Gemini/Cancer) so maybe it has something to do with that.

  142. fireandair says:

    I’ve been an extrovert for most of my life and have recently become a massive hermit, due to both preference and because I’d wanted the world to pipe down so I could hear myself think. But for a long, long time I was the one extrovert with all introvert friends, and I think it was because I just let them be what they were: quiet. They aren’t shy, they just want the rest of us to pipe down a bit. They’re up-front, accurate, and easy to talk to, especially with INTJ type introverts. You rarely leave a conversation with them asking yourself, “I wonder what she meant by that?” or “I wonder what he was hinting at?” They told you what they meant, and they don’t hint. And when they try to bullshit you, they are generally not too good at it, either. :-) As an extrovert who is high on information-dense conversation as opposed to meaningless social babble, I like that a lot.

    Want to know how to “take care of your introvert?” Hand them a cup of tea, a book, and just leave them the hell alone. If they want anything else, they’ll let you know. Easy-peasy.

  143. frootbat31 says:

    What a great post this is! I’m a introvert by nature, and yet organize two rather large groups in my area. Members laugh when I tell them I’m a introvert because I’m so personable, but I have to explain I don’t get energized by groups. Sometimes, its rather harrowing, so I will take a day ‘off’ of being around people.
    Being solitary charges me up and that’s ok and perfectly fine.

  144. obsidianfactory says:

    I am a mixture with introvert tendencies more though hyper with people. I actually prefer contemplation to parties and I don’t like big parties :P I am like an algorithm in certain aspects I change paces constantly

  145. theillustriouskingofspace says:

    I do rather enjoy people thinking that being an introvert means I don’t like them. More often than not, this is true. The people who think being an introvert might mean being a creepy hermit with homicidal inclinations also should follow their instincts (but mainly just because that means they might find something else to do with their time than try to pry me out of my “shell”). I enjoy writing, drawing, and other solitary activities far more than moving my mouth and vocal cords for the sheer fuck of it.

  146. elikas51 says:

    Great post!! Very well said. My thoughts exactly:

    “2) I don’t get my energy from you. I am quite a handful, if I do say so myself. Therefore, I’m able to self-generate all the energy I need. Thanks.

    3) I value my alone time. I guess this is kinda the same as #2, huh?’

    It has been getting on my nerves lately when my extroverted friends ALWAYS have to be doing something/can’t be alone.. while I am at peace at home just hanging out w/my dogs and they think it’s weird! Also, I’m the same way w/ ‘I’m great how are you?” Or “my weekend was great thanks!” Can’t stand when you ask the question back and get a long complained or fully detailed response! LOL makes me feel like a brat but this is a great reminder of the different personality types…

  147. A while ago I read a research (which I should have been saved in my Delicious, but isn’t) that stated that a little bit more that half the US population is introvert. So introvert people form the majority (although it was almost 50% vs 50%). I never imagined that.
    But now it comes: that same research told that 65% of the people on Twitter were introvert! I guess that is because on Twitter and social media in general (and blogging as well :-) ) introverts get the chance to THINK before they have to ACT.
    At least I find that an advantage…being an introvert myself ;-)

  148. analyfe says:

    I’m an introvert through and through and can relate to the second, brief and awkward situation. A few months ago I read a really interesting book called The Introvert Advatage: How to Thirve in an Extroverted World. I wrote a synopsis/review if you’re interested.
    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed and thanks reppin’ the introverts! :D

  149. SaveScience says:

    Great post! I love how I’ve been reading more about our “condition” lately in blog posts, health/wellness articles, etc. It let’s all the extroverts out there in on what we’re thinking when we’re not talking to them and, of course, why we’re not talking to them at that particular moment ;)

  150. Luna Kadampa says:

    Can you be an introvert *and* an extrovert? I think I am.

    • Julie says:

      Luna, According to what I’ve read, everyone is a combination of introvert and extrovert and we’re often more dominant with one than with the other. For example, I am very friendly and energetic and encouraging in public, yet I need a lot of down time alone and I avoid get-togethers and events. My personality style is open and conversational when I am out and about, but my lifestyle very much fits an introverted description. Neither personality type is superior or inferior. Maybe what many of us are trying to do is strike a healthy and contented balance while maintaining our “I am”.

  151. Anneliese says:

    1) I am quiet. Generally speaking. Not necessarily shy—quiet. There is a difference.

    THIS. A thousand times yes! So glad you’ve made a clear distinction between all the misconceptions people have regarding so-called introverts. I concur with everything abovementioned. :)

  152. Becca says:

    It was freeing for me to find out I was an introvert. I was like, “Now I get it. No wonder my dad thinks I’m crazy. He’s an extrovert.” It helped me to understand why I liked a lot of down time. I didn’t see it as a negative thing about myself. Even though many extroverts do because they just don’t need a lot of down time. They think Happy Hour on a Friday afternoon after work should be relaxing for everyone. It is good to be different. Your post was a great way to speak up for us! Thanks!

  153. charoglez says:

    I’m not sure if I’m more of the extrovert or the introvert type. I open up and socialise quite easily and tend to speak too much (I’m afraid), but I need to spend lots of time alone and have my own space to rest and recover from all that socilizing.
    Then, Am I an introvert who’s taking antidepressants?
    Or am I just another nice neurotic?

  154. CC says:

    It never usually bothers me to be labeled an introvert until someone comments on how standoffish I am. I get a little miffed then. I’m just not all that chatty. I think you nailed it with your description… Just don’t have a lot to say.

  155. Jiji says:

    It sounds like me. Great blogging too!

  156. Terri says:

    As an unabashed introvert, I agree that I do not derive my energy from other people and I do not need other people to ertertain me. I am quite happy to be by myself. I find it difficult to understand an extrovert’s seemingly contact need for social interaction, which makes me wonder if extroverts are more susceptible to loneliness and all of the health problems that are associated with loneliness (see Maybe being an introvert isn’t such a bad thing afterall.

  157. Boon Lee says:

    couldn’t agree more with ya. sometimes I just want more ‘me’ time and there’s absolutely NOTHING wrong or weird about that. introverts or not, we rock. :)

  158. Love this post! As an introvert myself I tend to ask a few questions, sit back and let the others do the talking whilst I take everything in. I’m not antisocial, but tend to stick to a smaller group of friends. Just started blogging so maybe in a few months I may change, but right now I’m an introvert and proud, but I’ll keep that to myself ;)

  159. hip hop hooray for introverts!

  160. ziajen says:

    Excellent post and huge congratulations on being freshly pressed! I really enjoy your blog.
    I’m guessing something about my last comment didn’t translate properly from the UK to the US? Having lived in America for a few years, I know only too well how easy it is to fall into a language trap with popular common idioms that don’t work both sides of the pond! Sorry it didn’t pass muster but the analogy about deriving energy and information to be processed from different power sources was a pretty accurate description of the true meaning of introvert and extrovert as demonstrated to me a decade or more ago. My best friend and long-time colleague is a strong introvert… the moments are legend when she retreats from a problem but then emerges from silent journey through her thought processes with blistering clarity, having collected all the answers on route!

  161. Gooi Weg says:

    At the time I discovered being an introvert I struggled with the same “repair” minded, prejudiced colleagues, so your blog entry went like a “DING!” – recognize.

    I was lucky to have a boss recognizing not only the value of introverted persons in his team, but also of persons being their selves. Stuff like listening to the customer, reflecting on their real needs and hidden drives all come more natural to introverts.

    In the mean time I learned it is sometimes necessary leave the introverted comfort zone and do some extroverted “shouting”, and I see you discovered it too – witness this blog post

    “Introverted with an attitude” – way to go!

  162. Wachusett Region Recycling Resource says:

    I had my aha moment (like when Charlie Brown found out he feared everything!) when I read the Atlantic Monthly 2003 article called ‘caring for your introvert’. That article, and its 2006 follow up, seem to paint a good picture of introverts in an extroverted society.

  163. Yeah, i think i’m a little bit of both. I have my introvert, and extrovert moments. Mabey that makes me something else altogether. is my blog the product of a sane mind? Or just an introvert exploding in imagination and wit. I think i know the answer. Great post by the way.

  164. mike says:

    I am glad that I am not the only one who thinks that as an introvert being labelled shy is not right! Point one bangs the nail on the head for me.

  165. Lady Ashley says:

    Great post. I am introverted and proud of it; people at work think I’m odd or rude because I don’t join in the mindless chatter or tell never-ending stories about my cousin’s best friend’s mother’s neice’s hysterectomy.

  166. EvilPoet says:

    Congrats on getting freshly pressed! I’m an introvert and I think it’s kind of funny and strange that people react so strongly to that fact. I don’t really get why people are so bothered by it and seem so resistant to accept it. I have a neighbor that does not understand this about me and insists on trying to figure out why I’m not like him and his friends. It’s really annoying that he see’s fit to forge ahead with his preconceived notions rather than just accept me for who I am and get to know me. Thank you for this post! I, like so many others who have commented, really appreciate it. :-D

  167. Mr. Boab says:

    Great post! This is exactly how I’m like, only with some OCD mixed in.

  168. exoboy says:

    It is nice to know that I am not the only introvert who has been caused a lot of grief by my “condition”. I moved around a lot as a kid and wherever I went people either thought I was aloof or arrogant… all without even bothering to talk to me first! But when they finally did talk to me, or I talked to them, they realized I was “okay”, and it was not that I did not want to be around them in particular, it was just that I did not mind being on my own, doing my own things….

  169. Neollectual says:

    I enjoyed the “What being an introvert means” and What being an introvert does not mean” points :-) I’ve been saying similar things to myself for sometime now. Wonderfully written! Thanks for sharing this.

  170. seanhassall says:

    At times, I’ve wondered if the MBTI assessment might do more harm than good in understanding organizational behavour/psychology. As a person with INFJ preferences, I resonate with your experience of being misunderstood. You made me laugh about drop kicking Isabel Briggs-Myers and Katherine Cook-Briggs in a dark alley. Sounds like you’ve had it worse than me.
    Really enjoyed this post! Thank you!

  171. expatsophie says:

    Congrats on Freshly Pressed! As an introvert, this post is dead on and so validating to read. Thank you!

  172. jasoncstanley says:

    this is awesome. thank you for enlightening the world!

  173. 15coffees says:

    Yes yes yes yes. God how I am driven nuts by the assumption that just because I’m quiet I must be either terrified, awed or a little stupid.
    “They begin to develop a “treatment plan” for you if your results yield any letter combination that begins with an “I”. ”
    I recognise that too blooming well after the idiotic management training course that made me take the damned silly test, and then at length told me how I shouldn’t be ashamed of being an introvert, but we should look at ways of disguising it. As if my personality was some horrendous scar that I wouldn’t want polite society to know about. Sorry :D I took the sounding off invite a bit too literally there!

  174. melmannphoto says:

    As a fellow introvert who lived many years in a corporate world of extroverts (a couple who are my best friends!) my advice to you all, my self-sufficient friends, is simply: fake it until you make it. Train yourself to walk around in a continuous state of Zen while that avatar you’ve created deals with the outside world!! Soon people will be amazed when you indicate you are an introvert (“No, really? Are you sure?”).

    Amazing isn’t it? We are what we are – why do we need to be categorized? As one person indicated, it takes all kinds to make our pluralistic society function. Just enjoy the diversity. After all, each of us is the only one of us around (except for you identical twins….).

  175. Nicole says:

    Nice post. I love reading about personality types. I’m somewhere between an introvert and an extrovert. It depends on my environment and my mood. I sure do love my alone time! And I love to talk and am an open book, blabbing my thoughts and opinions…around people I’m comfortable with. I’d say I’m 60% introvert and 40% extrovert. Somewhere around there. Great blog, nice photos.

    • Agree with the comment Nicole made above and can add that I see the profile type as a continuum, rather than static states of being. An I or E type depends on the situational factors, such as the fact that you might be by nature an I, but in a work situation you are forced by the very nature of what you do to be an E.

      What is more relevant an intereting for me is the difference between Ps (Perceptive types) & Js (Judgemental types) and the conflict this causes…and finally exploring your shadow MBTI state. But that is a whole different conversation.

  176. Stephanie says:

    I’m an introvert too. I have never perceived this as a negative trait. The opinions others hold of me rarely hold much weight as I don’t give them much thought. I can’t easily change their minds, after all.

    On the other hand I agree that misconceptions arise as a result of being a quiet type. People who initially know me casually are often shocked by my ease and chattiness once I get to know them and trust a conversation will be worthwhile and full of interesting content.

  177. denise:) says:

    I love when Introverts say something, usually it’s worth listening to! Thanks for sharing.

    A few months ago, while waiting in the grocery store check out, a copy of Psychology Today had an article about Introverts. FINALLY figured out what was “wrong” with me!

  178. klynneb says:

    It is annoying that people treat introversion like a disease that needs to be cured, introverts are just fine the way they are. Unfortunately extroverts shout the loudest, so for some reason, everyone thinks they’re right. Thank you for this article, even though I know there are other introverts out there, it’s nice to have it confirmed every once in a while that we’re not weird for not chatting at the slightest provocation.

  179. oatandraisincookies says:

    I loved this post! I am also an introvert and everything you said I pretty much agree with.
    An introvert is also someone who is supposedly exhausted from social interaction or something like that (i read it somewhere) and I think that also makes sense. I enjoy being with my friends but at times i feel i need a little time to myself. For example at a party I decided to sit outside for a while and allow myself to think.
    There is of course nothing wrong with introverts! Its those crazy extroverts that need the help! Not us :P

  180. zacharycloud says:

    Love the post! When I was still in school working on my psychology degree, peoples’ worship of the Myers Briggs assessment used to drive me so crazy. Like Freud, it’s outdated and improved upon.

    It’s also nice to see someone getting the word out en masse that being an “introvert” isn’t (or at least shouldn’t be) a value judgment. Well done!

  181. ReduxRehab says:

    Great post! I’m an introvert and I love explaining the real meaning to people who think it has a negative connotation. I’m also a high self-monitor–don’t know if that comes with the territory or not, but I often find myself choosing my words very carefully as not to offend anyone or stick my foot in my mouth! I’m actually in the process of challenging myself to become more extroverted by starting up and holding conversations with people I meet at parties…but I definitely bask in my alone time when I get home!

  182. Pingback: Introverts vs. Extroverts: It’s Time to Set the Record Straight (via Magnet for Foolishness) | LifeAndCity.

  183. Spinster says:

    Proud introvert here. Over the years, especially in recent time, I’ve learned to appreciate being an introvert. The world often makes it hard to be proud of it, as if it’s some kind of disease to be cured or a problem to be solved, and as if extroverts are the only “normal” people out there. As I get older, I embrace it more and give the rest of the world (that thinks that there’s something wrong with introverts) 2 middle fingers.

    Good post. :-)

  184. Shay B. says:

    WOOHOO! I hate the fact that I’m continuously classified as a “high-functioning” introvert. It makes me sound like I’m on the spectrum. While I do value conversations and interactions with people, large amounts of people scare the heck out of me. I value one-on-one interactions. I don’t mind speaking in front of a crowd. You’d almost think I were an extrovert… only problem is I think extroverts are insane! My best friend is an extrovert and her mouth goes at a hundred mph before takes a breath. But we compliment each other well. Thanks for posting this

  185. 4 Rooms and the Moon says:

    Yay! Thank you! As Popeye says: “I am what I am and that’s all that I am!” ‘Quiet’ does not = stupid. Primary school teachers – please take note. Labeling a child as ‘shy’ because they are quiet is not only unfair, it is damaging as these labels follow a child through their academic life. Some of those quiet children may be some of the most intelligent, creative, and curious in your class – they (we) just don’t have to tell EVERYONE about it ALL DAY LONG!

  186. jenjen2010 says:

    You’re my HERO!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it! I am an introvert with strangers but I speak more openly with close friends and family.

  187. Great blog. I am an extrovert (say hi Garry), and I think that people have a misconception of what an introvert is, and what they do. I think that introverts get a bad rap, and have often been asociated with serial killers, and other deviants. When you get a chance, check my blog out as well, and let me know what you think.

  188. Karen Garvin says:

    Yeah, I’m an introvert, too. Quiet does not mean “afraid of other people.” I like to think that I’m like Mr. Ed — I only talk when I have something to say. But writing, that’s another story. :)

  189. I’m a believer in the Four Humors, in that most personality types can be boiled down into four categories. I consider myself melancholic; which means while I am introverted, I’m also passionate, moody, and inspired. I’m a writer, so I keep to myself most of the time. I have only a handful of friends who I identify and relate with. The whole reason why introverts get such a bad rap is society expects people to be social and have lots of friends. No time to be introspective and alone because that makes you a loner and an outcast. It takes all kinds; melancholics, cholerics, sanguines, and phlegmatics.

  190. ruach says:

    Well, the thing is even though we might be by type an Introvert, our job may require us to function as an extrovert–taking the initiative, being friendly, being around people all day. My wife is marvelous with people but at the end of the day (and the next), she needs to withdraw and recover. Whereas myself, I may not be as friendly but after being with people all day, when I get home, I am ready to go to the mall after about 10 mnutes! I still think I am an introvert.

    Another thing about introverts vs extroverts–the extroverts are often the life of the party but if you want to talk to someone who will genuinely listen to you, best best is an introvert. I am always amazed how when traveling, strangers approach my wife for questions or just to chat because they are lonely but they would never do that with me!

    I tend to judge extroverts more harshly but I guess we need all kinds. A final observation–certain cultures seem to favor or reward certain personality types–extrovertishness (?) seems to be a factor that gets the attention. I would love to see a website that provides classic M-B profiles on each country in the world.


  191. waterliyl says:

    Personally, I think I’m kind off in the middle. I will give short and to the point answers, but I also tend to talk for very large amount of time (no wonder people get bored of me easily) I like my quiet time, but I also like to get about and do stuff. Okay, I admit. I’m a little weird and there’s no definition for the sort of person I am. But that doesn’t really matter, in fact it has nothing to do with what I really wanted to say. What I really wanted to say was: good post, very funny and I loved it so much, I even followed you on twitter. Waiting for more!

    • Thanks so much for your support!

    • charoglez says:

      I’m with you: “I also tend to talk for very large amount of time (no wonder people get bored of me easily) I like my quiet time, but I also like to get about and do stuff.” It also depends of the phase that I’m going through, whereas it is too busy with work or comminments (I hide!), or if I’m rather bored and need to interact with others.
      I think most of us are not “pure type
      Just like you, I really loved the post!

  192. Farhan says:

    I myself am an extrovert. Or like to think so anyways…
    I like being around people but not necessarily ALOT of people.. I stick to one or two preferably, but maybe that’s just because when many people my age (17) get together we all just end up doing something foolish.

  193. Great post! I’ve always referred to myself as an introverted extrovert. Maybe an opinionated, outspoken introvert. Depends on the day or the mood. Why the labels anyway. We’re not robots..can’t we just be? I get it….love the humor.

  194. Patti Ross says:

    Now we just need to get your definition into the dictionary! Your insights and observations are right on, or so thinks this introvert. Thanks for posting.

  195. “It’s just that a conversation with me will go a lot quicker.” EXACTLY!! My oldest son is an introvert and I sometimes wanted to give him a t-shirt before going out saying, “I’m an Introvert. Cut me some slack.” Congrats on the fp!

  196. merri says:

    I took the Myers Briggs test a few times and found that it fluctuated a bit(understandable) but I too usually had the end result of half introvert and half extrovert.
    I think it depends on the situation but I do have more introvert characteristics.
    I loved the “how was your weekend” expose…
    Oh and yes I think most writers tend to be introverts. Great post indeed!

  197. I didn’t read all 113 comments so forgive me if this has been said. My Psych 101 teacher said this is what separates intro- and extroverts. Both go to a party. Both drink, socialize, etc. The extrovert leaves the party feeling energized, the introvert leaves the party feeling exhausted.

  198. Matt S says:

    Well said, and thank you for writing this. I’m an INTJ myself, and my whole life I have been plagued with questions like “Why are you so quiet?” My response was something like “Why do you never shut up?”
    I like the analogy that it was like been left-handed in a right-handed world. Never thought of it that way but it makes sense. I’ll talk, but only if the conversation is interesting, and I have something of substance to add to the mix.

  199. Erika Harris says:

    ROTFL!! I couldn’t have said it better. Many of the extroverts I’ve encountered (including my husband) think that their personality type is “superior” and us introverts are “inferior” or “flawed” and need to “work on it”. And I especially love #2– I don’t need energy from other people either. (RT)

  200. Julie says:

    What I wouldn’t give to be a bit more introverted, to make every word count. Clint Eastwood, with his select wording, was my hero, but I never quite caught on. Enjoyed your post. I’d write a lot more, but then that might give away the extent of my extrovertitis.

  201. faithslady says:

    You explained it so well! I talk when I have something to say. If there’s nothing to say, I’m not going to talk. I’m also totally someone who replies “Fine, thanks.” to almost any question starting with “How was/is.”

  202. reneepicard says:

    Wow, I have thought alot about being an introvert and what it means to me as an individual, in addition to how I fit into society. I think that, in general, our personality traits are not valued at the same level as those of extroverts, and it’s taken a long time for me to find the value in these traits for myself (eg: I am the observer, which means I am also the writer or photographer, but rarely or never the performer, which is who gets ‘noticed’). I am comfortable with my role (photography and writing are two passions) but still also trying to practice being more extraverted sometimes, because it can be fun to push yourself past your comfort zone.

    Ah, this post just inspired me to write about this topic in a way that I’ve meant to for ages…will send you a link. It probably will *not* be as succinct as this post though! :)

  203. I am a fellow introvert, and I must applaud you in your ability to speak for us all so well! (: Such a good read; I will definitely be checking back for more.

    Main blog:
    Poetry blog:

  204. kriscaballero says:

    Great read! I’m an extreme introvert myself, and I can completely relate. It’s something I accepted and embraced growing up, because of people constantly mistreating me during my youth. Not that I’m a big deal, but because I’m just…there. I have a great relationship with my parents and sister, and still do, but classmates and peers made things seem like I was born on the wrong planet (no matter how much I minded my own business). So since then, I’ve found hobbies and activities I can enjoy doing without people (video editing, photography, reading, video games, programming, etc). I love tranquil/intimate areas, where I can let my guard down and not worry about people getting in the way of my thinking. I remember three different girls asked me out to go clubbing with them but I still said no, and I told them it’ll make me uncomfortable (even though I’m the guy who supposed to do the asking out haha, yet a club wouldn’t be a viable choice for a first date). I’m really not into people, and I can have a wondrous time without them and concentrate on whatever I need to work on. I always yearn for the day the Universe will coalesce a planet with my name on it, only for me to live in so I don’t need to worry about freeway traffic, long lines, people having loud conversations on their cell phones and so on. Sure, I’m able to make friends when I need to, if and only if, there’s a meaningful connection. I can go on, and possibly write more about it on my website, but that’s that. Again, great read and I enjoyed it. :)

    • “I always yearn for the day the Universe will coalesce a planet with my name on it, only for me to live in so I don’t need to worry about freeway traffic, long lines, people having loud conversations on their cell phones and so on.” Don’t we all!

  205. I’m an introvert who masquerades as an extravert. It is quite common, actually. Highly Sensitive people are not cognates for introversion. The last thing I am is highly sensitive; I’ve got the hide of a rhino. That being said, introverts are internally driven/motivated, more introspective, and get their energy from being self-directed. I’m fast on my mental feet when I need to be, am great at pattern recognition (that’s part of being “audio-digital” – see NLP) and I can spend time obsessing about details when I’ve got enough time not to make flash decisions.

    Myers-Briggs is good for business situations, yet I find that women test different at home than they do in business. Men tend to test the same everywhere – which speaks to how women have to adapt to please people in the workplace and people at home. I find the best system for personality is Enneagram. I study it primarily and it is spot on in a way that Myers-Briggs just isn’t. ‘Course, NLP is also fantastic for understanding and motivating different personality types.

  206. truthspew says:

    Depending upon my general mood at the time of the test I either come out as INTJ or ENTJ. Sometime I might want to talk to you, sometimes I might not.

  207. I too have been subjected to that test. The lady that did it initially asked me to score myself and then compared it to what a computer said and then tried to get a happy medium. Was a very surreal experience. I missed the meeting after in which all my co-workers spilt into two groups (introverts and extroverts) and had to ‘speak to each other’ about their needs from the others. What a great use of office time!

  208. I knew there were more out there like me! Great blog post, very funny! Yes, I agree, it is extremely annoying to me that Xtroverts with their never ending jabbering and loudness are always trying to force me to be the same way. I have been accused of being sad, aw poor me, aloof, I wish, distant, cold, uncaring, odd, ecentric….and on and on. It is exhausting to me each day to listen to the mindless chatter of Xtroverts, begging to know every boring detail of my life and looking so excited while telling me about theirs. Please just stop! I really don’t mind the Xtroverts neediness, but please stop trying to force me to be the same. Oh and by the way, we introverts do not have some sort of bizarre social disorder or disease, we simply desire to be alone in our thoughts and enjoy our solitude. Please be respectful.

  209. B Gourley says:


    Wait… is that a logical contradiction?

    But seriously, great post.

  210. territerri says:

    LOVE this! Just yesterday I wrote an entire post on where my introvertedness has landed me in the workplace and the misconceptions it has caused.


  211. tmdtheory says:

    Great blog, I have been doing reseach about this subject myself….for I am sort of an introvert but I don’t not like putting labels on myself or other people…they can surprise you sometimes. :)

  212. I wanted to leave a comment, but really had nothing to say…

  213. The Laundry Lady says:

    Honestly I don’t know why any aspect of personality is seen as positive or negative. They each come with their own strengths and weaknesses, but none are good or bad. Thanks for clarifying shy vs. introverted. So many people misunderstand this. As an outgoing introvert (with a shy extroverted sister), I can tell you that people often misunderstand us both, assuming that I’d like to be with people 24/7 when I desperately need time to myself, while my sister needs people, but her shyness makes it hard to build new friendships. I think introverts are deeply misunderstood, both by themselves and by others. We aren’t broken or at a disadvantage, but just function differently. i think there are a lot more introverts than people realize. Rather than introversion being a weakness I think it can be a strength. Introverts are confident in their own opinions, and often require less validation from others.

  214. Susan says:

    Couldn’t have said it better myself.

    Love this! “I am quite a handful, if I do say so myself.” I’d never put it this way before, but I am totally stealing it!

  215. check out ‘IntrAverts’… :) think you will find you are closer to that than introvert…

  216. Emily says:

    Love it! I was once told that key difference between an introvert and an extrovert is how they “recharge”. Extroverts will get a bunch of people together and go somewhere loud, drawing their energy from others. Introverts will withdraw, curl up on the couch with a good book, and come back later ready to rock.

    Also, it’s just too black and white to say a person is either one or the other. The personality class I took rated your extroversion on a scale of 1-10!

    And one last thing: In said class we learned that about 90% of the population is on the introverted side. It’s just that the 10% of true extroverts are louder and more likely to be found in leadership roles, making us think we need to be like them!

  217. :)Here Here!!!! Thank you for this!!
    I’m definatly introverted but for some silly reason other people think that I’m a sad and lonely person which is not true. Personally I’m quiet because I keep to myself and I tend to do a lot of thinking i.e “What do I have to do today, wash clothes, send of that package, finish building my projects” and etc.
    When I go to work I always sit in the back of the break room because I always bring a really good book to read (I’m a gigantic bookworm and proud of it).
    My coworkers always say, “Why do you single yourself out?” I have to explain to them that I’m reading and sitting up front near the TV is too much of a distraction.

    Most of the time at my job I like to work alone. Now don’t get me wrong, I can work with other people if they stick to the task. They could have a really good conversation going but still do their work. But if another coworker talks my ear off and does nothing to help then I’ll ask not to be paired with them and do the work myself.
    I never liked the saying “There’s no i in team”, but I get my work done so much faster when it’s all done by myself.

  218. Sarah says:

    This probably has something to do with why I hate using Facebook so much. It always feels like I’ve walked into a party of loud people who want to tell me things I don’t care about, or don’t know yet if I will care about them. Hate it! I far prefer e-mail. It’s much more controlled and allows time for thought.

    Great post, great comments! Congrats on FP.

    • “It always feels like I’ve walked into a party of loud people who want to tell me things I don’t care about, or don’t know yet if I will care about them.” I’ve never heard anyone describe Facebook quite like that before, but I totally get what you’re saying.

  219. YES! As an introvert this was excellent. Check my blog out if you’re interested in a sarcastic and witty dialogue regarding educational policies. (Especially the struggles of an INTROVERT teacher trying to get a job in today’s market!)

  220. Brilliant post! very introverted myself. Like you said it can come across as arrogance, but we’re all too busy living inside our own heads.

  221. Hmm . . . too complex-ed! Introversion is as simple as having the ability to roam in our own inner world. That as opposed to mind the “outer” world by default. I am an introvert and I used to be shy. That changed after tons of introversion and learning the proper social skills. The interesting part is that today, most people have a difficult time to believe I am an introvert. And that only because now I socialize as much as i can and when i wish. But, for the most part, I am happy delving into my own inner world. Great post though!

  222. I am introverted AND intuitive – guess what that means?

    I’ve heard the turth from you before you’ve even thought to tell me the lie!

    My conversation would look something like this:-

    E: Hi how are you?
    Me: Hi – how’s your head after the heavy night out – do you need the day off or will a aspirin do the job?
    E: Aspirin
    Me: (pass aspirin to E) – by the way, I won’t be covering last night’s escapade with your boss, so don’t ask, ok?

    Exit etc

    Congratulations on your freshly pressed – another aspect of an introvert – A quiet achiever!!


  223. drewcreal says:

    well of corse your an introvert, you write blogs!!! lol! i guess most people fall loosely into one of the two categories. Introverts generally seems to be more self motivated and self sustaining whereas extroverts tend to draw their energy from other people. They need that live social interaction with other people to fuel their life. At least that’s what I’ve noticed. You can’t really put a blanket statement like that on everyone because people can have both introverted and extroverted tendencies.

  224. I dislike the MBTI and DSM IV for the same reasons. I feel like people are too quick to label. I often refer to myself as a bubbly introvert. I like people, I’m excited and outgoing around them, but I find long bouts of people exhausting, not energizing. My best friend is an extrovert, and it took him and his wife a while when we first met to realize I really enjoyed our friendship, but that I NEED downtime all by myself.

  225. theprofessionaloutcast says:

    This was an extremely true, and well written post about introverts. Myself, I am an introvert, and being in High School doesn’t help at all; Being that people usually get the wrong impression of me. I’m usually being called out, or just plain teased for being so quiet and kept to myself. I’m hoping that this year, I’ll be able to step out of my shell and get the right impression going.

    • High school can definitely be hard, but it will be over before you know it. What doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger. And I wouldn’t worry so much about how to “get the right impression going.” You’ll never be able to please all the people, all the time…and you shouldn’t try. Just make sure you’re comfortable with yourself.

  226. chunter says:

    Introverts don’t sound off, it’s not really our way…

    I don’t think introversion and extroversion are extremes- as your negative list says, being quiet doesn’t necessary mean you do or don’t like someone or are antisocial, but I’ve met people who actually -are- antisocial and mistaken them for introverts.

    I think the reason introverts get such a bad name is that it is difficult to market to people that basically generate their own juices and aren’t quick to express wants and needs. I consider it some of the reason why it is futile to turn my art into a profession. For example, how do you get people that don’t like to hang out for its own sake to gather at a venue they don’t really enjoy, or how do you find a venue that they like better than their own homes?

    Congratulations on FP and best wishes

  227. Pingback: introverts vs extroverts « of life, unscripted

  228. Chems Luc says:

    A little clarification:
    If someone doesn’t need to say or to do something; and he doesn’t do it; he is not called introvert!
    Because introvert means the one who needs to say or to do something, BUT he has some psychic problem to do it…there is a big difference!

  229. marvindegracia says:

    Don’t you think that introversion is just “selective” extroversion? I believe that I am “generally” introvert but then, I have bunch of people whom I really get along well and become extrovert with. Sometimes, being naturally introvert causes me some trouble because I cannot get along well with any type of people.

    Great post!

  230. scatback says:

    I’m kind of a contradiction on this: I’m generally an introvert (“reserved” would be a good adjective) but when you bring up a subject about which I have a strong opinion, I’m not afraid to let people know my feelings.

  231. great post. I sometimes self identify as an introvert and it resonated what you said when you spelled out what it doesn’t mean. It doesn’t mean I don’t like you, I’m standoffish or hard to get to know. Thanks :)

  232. Stephen says:

    This struck a chord for me. Once a girlfriend and I made the mistake of accepting an invitation to a birthday party on a junk. We are both what you call ‘quiet’ in that we hate talking for the sake of talking and our silence certainly does not mean that we have any negative feelings for anyone else.
    Most of the other guests were rather cliquey and didn’t make any attempt to communicate much, except that with each other they had their repertoire of loud ‘in-jokes’ and banter. Later on in the day one of the party took me aside and asked pointedly why we were so ‘depressed’ and said that we were ‘spoiling the party.’
    Us ‘introverts’ never impose our dispositions on others, whereas ‘extroverts’ often feel an evangelical need to do the converse.

  233. brittany220 says:

    Yep I’m introverted too, I like to think a little before I act. I prefer one on one or small group conversations as opposed to larger group ones. Nice post! :)

  234. Stephen says:

    Oh yeh, while I’m here I’d better chuck this in as I guess this post will attract a number of ‘shy’ people who could do with some help. The psychologist Phillip Zimbardo has done a lot of research on shyness and has a site, I guess a lot of folk reading this might get some good help here.

  235. ellpeee says:

    With your permission, I’d like to put this entry in my “About” section.

  236. BisonWoman says:

    I am an extrovert married to an introvert, and THAT makes for an interesting and conflicted life!

  237. Good God! You hit the jackpot commentwise. I also agree with you. I don’t classify myself as introverted, but I am generally quiet and more than a little reclusive. That sounds a little funny considering the books I write, but it’s true.

  238. Carl D says:

    Excellent points! People mistake my silence as well. Shy? No, just hearing you out so I don’t jump to conclusions. Uninterested? No, I don’t want to interrupt you since you seem so excited to share.

  239. Count me in the introvert club.

    Being an introvert is being thoughtful, that’s why I need that alone time. I need to have time to process what I’ve witnessed, heard and done. If somebody asks for an opinion, I need time to form one if I haven’t been thinking about the topic before (“I’d like to think on that and let you know tomorrow”).

    I don’t seem to fare well in group conversations (the extroverts take over). But, get me one on one and really listen to me and we can have some interesting conversations. I take the time to listen, really listen (or do some really good non-listening) to people.

    People say I’m a thoughtful gift giver because I take the time to “read” people. I pick up on all sort of non verbal cues other people miss.

  240. Sharon says:

    Love that Myers Briggs Test! Get your introvert on, girl.

  241. sandytoessaltykisses says:

    Great post! I’m an introvert, which means I like shopping, eating out, and even… *gasp!* see movies by myself sometimes.

    As for making small talk with friends or co-workers, I always get that “look” if I don’t go into a drawn-out explanation of my weekend, like I’m holding back secret information. Secretly, I just don’t feel like telling them that I took naps and played with my cats all weekend. It’s just weird.

    Anyways, can’t wait to read more soon!

  242. This is SO true! Introverts get such a hard time…why???? Just because we don’t like talking for the sake of talking? You should look at these myths about introverts (link following)…I first saw it a few months ago and when I read it I was like, “THANK YOU!!!!” It was as if I had written it myself….so spot on!

  243. debra mckune says:

    Hi Sonya! And thank you for sharing!

    oh. and please leave the lights off. I think, and communicate better when it’s dark.

    fyi: intuitive/empathic introverts are stunningly efficient. we know what you’re thinking/feeling, therefore, we don’t have to ask. this results in a 50% increase in time saved, allowing the extrovert to go do something extroverty like have lunch at the counter of the local diner. (shudders at such a thought)

  244. I like your definition of “Introvert” way better than’s. It makes me feel more like a person and less like an anomaly. :)
    I seriously think that people don’t comprehend introverts very well…just cuz we aren’t talking doesn’t mean we’re antisocial or shy! It’s like Excuse me, I am thinking. Anyways…
    Great post, by the way. From one introvert to another.

  245. yay, im an introvert too and this was awesome too read. I laughed at loud at the thought of asking a health insurance provider if they could cover introvertness…

  246. Pingback: Introverts vs. Extroverts: It’s Time to Set the Record Straight (via Magnet for Foolishness) « Letsallrunaway

  247. mischz says:

    Everyone should read this. And appreciate that for the amount of noise some people are making in this world, they should be glad for our (relative) silence.

  248. soaringdragons says:

    I am my thoughts, not my words.

  249. Really awesome blog…You have cleared alot of doubts about we introverts….The worst thing that I have experienced is that most often people think that I’m quiet because I’m big head weight who doesn’t like to talk to less intelligent one’s…When the truth is that I just love being with myself more and had talk to them if I had anything interesting to say….Keep up the good work..Do break some more myths like this:)

  250. Eden Hemming says:

    Another introvert here. An issue for me is that people seem to assume that you have to be talking when you are with them at all times. Even other introverts – including myself sometimes. We don’t have an etiquette for how to be together without talking. Sometimes I really want to be around people but I just want to listen at the same time! But then they assume that I’m being antisocial instead…

  251. Loved the post…I’m also an “I”. Didn’t mind the MB “diagnosis” – it actually brought me a little bit of reassurance that I wasn’t antisocial like all the “E”‘s have been telling me! In my line of work I’s are common, so no pressure to change from that direction! :)

    I hope all of you introverts will really enjoy this article on “Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions for Introverts” –

  252. Nice. I love doing quizzes like Myers-Briggs that tell me things I already know about myself. I am an introvert, but I pretend to be an extrovert in order to have more friends or something. It makes me wonder though, whether if you pretend long enough, you become an extrovert. Can you change, do you think? Is the way you act what makes you introvert/extrovert, or the way you want to act?

  253. Pingback: Introverts vs. Extroverts: It’s Time to Set the Record Straight (via Magnet for Foolishness) | nonsensicalmumblings

  254. Eeshan says:

    Thank you so much!!!
    You know me so well ;-)

  255. Cracking post! Interestingly, the person who introduced me to your Blog is on the introvert spectrum, and/so hasn’t even commented here LOL.

    FYI. My friend ( ) shared on facebook: “By far the wittiest and cleverest description of introversion I’ve ever read…Being a natural introvert myself in an extroverted world, this sums it up for me perfectly…”

    I myself took a Myers Briggs test in 2009, my said friend’s mum is a Myers Briggs practitioner ( ) and officially informed me of my personality type: one dominated by logic & natural introversion, however, I’ve also an extroversion tendency.

    The one simple explanation/defence I tell all, is, Myers Briggs is simply handy to understand / ‘predict ones strengths & weaknesses for given situations’ and is intended to help a team understand & work together better.

    CREATIVITY (right brain) vs. LOGIC.(left brain)..
    My frustration of others ‘natural’ Creativity back in 1998 got me into ‘self-development & learning’ via the then (now extinct, try

    The first thing I learnt: I think with a balance of both my left & right brain hemisphere. The highly creative people I worked with used to be predominantly right brain hemisphere. I’ve learnt to embrace & offer the strengths of my logical thinking coupled with my creative guidance to varied solutions – AS A RESULT (not100%directly) I now have my own company specialising in ‘Web based Marketing’.

    Interesting post, thanks – I’ve subscribed!

    Steve Walters.
    Small Business Helper Limited

  256. pinoyleonardo says:

    Aye! Introvert here! You are not alone :) Wanted to share with you my take on introversion and book review:

  257. Ave Valencia says:

    :) I couldn’t even read through the extroverts’ conversation.

  258. Thanks for this article. I now know my self! :p

  259. shamandi says:

    nice blog. i can soo related to this post. i especially like i’ m not antisocial. i do that alot and people lot @ me like if i am crazy,but why give a long story while it can be short and sweet :)

  260. Damommachef says:

    Can you be both? I like being around people–but that seems to drain me more than energize me. I lecture for a living–I don’t mind that at all. Not shy. But seriously, I need alone time. Half n’ half?

  261. Joel says:

    Ha ha! So damn true!

    An IFNJ

  262. If it helps at all the MBTI is a crock, based on discredit Jungian personality types – frankly it’s embarassing anybody still listens to anything that comes out of it.

  263. John Broberg says:

    We campaign for our children to not prejudge nor assign labels to each other. Then, we categorize ourselves into oversimplified 4-letter words… I mean, 4-letter personality types (ref. Myers-Briggs). Our employers preach diversity, while “coaching” us to suppress our outed personalities, all in the name of teamwork. In my opinion, MBTI is a good first step toward self-awareness. After that, it becomes useless or restrictive. Like flowers and flavors, the variety of our personalities is wonderfully endless.

  264. shrinisays says:

    Great post – agree totally! And the picture is perfect! For the record, I was classified as a “borderline extrovert” ENFJ. I switch between E and I depending on situations, and I thought everyone does that depending on situations!

  265. melody says:

    I’m more of an introvert.All you’ve said about it are I think true -.-
    And one more thing, before you do or say any move you think first if it’s really gonna worth the energy or not(not laziness).

  266. Ashwin says:

    Hi Sonya. I am Ashwin. Houu Youu Dooin?

    Brilliant article and I can identify myself with the points you have mention.

  267. 1heartle says:

    Yep, I’m an introvert too. 100% introvert according to some MB survey online. I was following a HBR blog on introverted leaders. Interesting stuff. I’m also reading up on introverted networking. (Networking for people who hate networking). I find it tough to be an introverted manager, especially when my boss is a total extrovert. I need a break with my book at lunch time, not to go out and chat with people in a noisy restaurant. Of course, if I’m alone in a noisy restaurant with my books I’m generally oblivious to my surroundings.

  268. donteattrash says:

    so true. I have the weird dual of getting my energy from both being around people and my alone time. Its been fun the last few years figuring that out because i live with 60 people and so I’m around people all the time so i get a lot of energy but then if i don’t get alone processing time often i want to kick them all.

    Introverts are so often mistaken as rude, or selfish but they are usually such thoughtful lovely deep thinkers because they talk less. Us talkers sometimes need to shut up.

    I do enjoy when an introvert has a rant. its the best.

    hope your day rocks.

  269. s.m. says:

    I consider myself to be an introvert. Although I do have a lot of mindless conversations with close friends, I am very guarded about my inner most thoughts and feelings. And public affection does not come easy to me. Definitely doesn’t make us less “cooler” than the extroverts!

  270. Funny- in junior high they made us take the Myers-Briggs test and I lied on all my answers to make myself an ENFP, which was what all the cool kids were. In reality, I’m an INTJ. And I’m awesome. Go introverts! :-)

  271. Absolutely!
    I am going to print this and hand it over to my roomies and people who think I am difficult to deal with since I am an ‘introvert’.

  272. Pingback: Introverts vs. Extroverts: It’s Time to Set the Record Straight (via Magnet for Foolishness) « Keyboardmash

  273. anchal says:

    Wow ! I never knew there were guides to handle us (@How to Care for Introverts). I feel perfectly normal after reading your post. Thanks for that :) And congrats to be freshly pressed !!

  274. Charlotte says:

    I’m an introvert myself and very proud of it.
    Couldn’t agree more with your definition.

    Great post!

  275. Great post! I’d like to think that being an introvert vs an extrovert doesn’t necessarily mean that you are less confident, it’s more about how you react to lacking confidence. I’m introverted, so when I feel uncomfortable in a social situation, I just don’t say much, or try to dissolve into the background. I have some very extroverted friends, and I know they also have the same feelings of shyness and lacking in confidence, but deal with it by overcompensating and being really loud and wild, to make it look like they are super confident. Being shy doesn’t equal introversion, introverts just deal with shyness by not drawing attention to themselves! And of course, introverted people aren’t always shy, in fact I’d say I’m quite a confident person and can hold conversations with strangers (for example) pretty easily. Introversion or extroversion, to my mind, just gives an indication as to how you deal with emotions and situations, not that you are cripplingly bad with social scenarios, or always ridiculously loud!

  276. lillianccc says:

    Loved this post! I stumbled across it on Freshly Pressed and boy, am I glad I did.
    I’ve been (mainly) an introvert all my life and for the longest time, always thought there was something wrong with me because in this society, we’re trained to essentially become extroverts. Thankfully as I got older, I realized there’s NOTHING wrong with being an introvert as long as I’m being myself. And hey, I like myself for being an introvert! As someone said earlier, we’re not always talking but when we do, people usually quiet down and listen because we actually have something to say.
    All that being said, I think I’d classify myself as a situational introvert. If I meet someone more introverted, chances are I become the ‘extroverted’ one.

  277. p00lriah. says:

    the whole thing is on a continuum. so the real question is, how much introvertivity do you have, or something. like, dude. like, far out, man. like, whoa. what does it mean?!?! :P

  278. meniez says:

    This is an interesting post. You are a real magnet.Thanks for this. Surely, there is no way i can contribute to a conversation if i know nothing about it. There, i would rather keep my mandibles shut.
    “What being an introvert DOES NOT mean: I’m anti-social” –I agree with you strongly.
    Some people do talk because they think the’ll die if they don’t contribute to a conversation. Introversion to me i think is good because it sometimes helps you contrast between what you know or have from others and helps you understand others.
    You are a real Magnet

    • “Some people do talk because they think the’ll die if they don’t contribute to a conversation.” YES! And those people are easy to spot, too. It can be funny sometimes. Like they’re in elementary school, and the teacher just asked who knows the answer to a question and they’re like “Me! Me! Me!” Or they’re holding it in but twitching around like they have to use the bathroom!

  279. Salman Latif says:

    Lol! An awesome one, that! :D
    Indeed being an introvert is considered quite an anomaly these days. I can’t understand why would people prefer a person yapping endlessly (and not knowing when to just shut up!) over a person who keeps things short and precise and gets to the point straight away. Being introvert, from what I’ve gathered, simply means that you get to the point right away and that’s it! No lengthy prologues or speeches before you say the real thing.
    I used to consider myself an extrovert. Especially, when I started debates as my co-curricular interest in university, I was almost sure. But over time, I’ve realized that I can’t take in a normal conversation for more than 5 minutes. Or talk for that long either. And I’m beginning to feel I’m perhaps an introvert indeed.

  280. Hi Sonya, I recently wrote a post called ‘A Toast To Introverts’ celebrating all the good stuff of our kind ( It’s time we introverts stood up for ourselves and got recognised for the brilliant, complex, self-effacing souls we really are!

  281. Yo’ow Sonya, i like your analogy of an introvert. It was filled with seriousness and lashings of humour. I believe that i myself am one of those, although to what degree i’ve not yet figured out.
    Ah well, i do make it a point of duty to enjoy what ever and who ever iam. Ha Ha, keep putting it out there.

  282. dinadot says:

    First of all: Thank you for speaking on behalf of all of us introverts!
    My introversion has also been seen as a sign of weakness – and one employer even said that I had a “wrong” personality….

  283. Jatin Shah says:

    Feels good to know that I am not alone who feels it :)
    Three cheers for Introverts

  284. mamalazarus says:

    Great post! Fellow introvert checking in…

  285. wordsfallfrommyeyes says:

    Hi there. MAN it was hard to leave a message – had to scroll ALL THE WAY DOWN the page, which took a while. That’s not normal, no?

    Anyway, loved your post. Great stuff. Relatable. All the best! :) Noeleen

  286. leeklover says:

    Nice post and thanks for the thoughts! I think all labels are stupid, to be honest. I got introvert when I was younger and didn’t like it. I was shy actually and it took some thinking to realize I was actually afraid of people. I thought I wasn’t but I stopped rationalizing and looked at the facts.

    Since then I have had longer discussions with people and enjoyed socializing and conversations a lot more. I also found, ask people questions and you learn so much more about them. I used to assume I knew what they were going to say because I was just sooo smart (read yes I was self centered!) and 90% of the time I was WRONG!

    So now when I score I get in the middle. I think most people are somewhere in the middle. I smile and say hi to people when we walk by each other if say we pass by on a sidewalk when I’m walking my baby. It’s not a matter of introvert or extrovert, it’s just rude to not acknowledge someone’s presence.

    The thing is, most ‘introverts’ are very smart, they can rationalize away anything that makes them not grow if they don’t want to. I think naturally extroverted people could stand to do the same and instead of saying “Oh yeah I know I’m LOUD!” work towards not being so “on” all the time. Everyone needs balance. Everyone. :)

    • Claire says:

      I agree about the acknowledgement, but as a highly sensitive, extreme introvert who has been told I am very approachable without trying, even saying hello seems to make extroverts think I am just like them and want to talk all the time. I also find that they then consider this simple ‘hello’ to mean more than was intended and now think there is a friendship, when all I wanted to do was be nice and acknowledge them, like you said. If more extroverts understood how introverts differ from them, then it would be so great if they COULD work on not being so ‘on’ all the time with the people they knew were introverts. The world would then indeed be a much more harmonious place, as you are so right about the need for balance. In my opinion, I think people should be educated from an early school age about the differences between introversion and extroversion. If the differences had been taught while I was at school I would have had a much easier, happier life, and I sincerely hope it does happen, as it makes me so sad to think that there are kids out there now who are suffering just like I did.

  287. dmmacs says:

    Congrats on Freshly Pressed.
    I too am an introvert. This reminds me of (Not sure if this can be seen by those not on Google+) or here

  288. Even though you’ve got more than 200 comments here, I’ll weigh in as well. Great post and lots of interesting thoughts. I’m an introvert, too. The thing that bugs me the most? Having to defend why I don’t want to do a bunch of stuff after work after spending a day with other people. Or spend an entire weekend day among crowds of folks. I get teased because I start to fade around 8 pm. It’s because I get up around 4:30 am for one thing! But, after a full day with people, I need to get home and re-fuel or chill. When I think about dating someone, I worry about meeting an extrovert for fear I’d be such a disappointment to him. Is there an online dating site for introverts?

    Congrats on the FP!

    • I have no idea about an online dating site for introverts, but I’m sure some of the other commenters may be able to answer that question.

      And I ALWAYS welcome comments, whether it’s 200 or 2,000! Come back and visit me often!

    • Claire says:

      I have been thinking the very same thing myself about introvert dating sites. I was even considering trying to set one up myself if they didn’t exist. I know exactly what you mean about the disappointment you may cause. This is why I’m single, and I’ve realised I would only ever have the energy to date a highly sensitive introvert like myself.

  289. deehsarsiavo says:

    I’ve only recently started developing an appreciation for being by myself and not talking as much as I used to (and believe me, I was one of the most chatty people I know). Naturally, the transition hasn’t settled well with people around me, with everyone thinking something’s wrong with me =/ I guess since most people associate silence or hesitation with fear or stress they tend to think the worst.

    I think I should make the next guy who asks me why I’m not talking read this post. Great read and wonderfully written! Congrats on the Freshly Pressed! =D

  290. Great post. And oh so true.

  291. *applauding. Especially for the quick conversation example. Hilarious.

  292. lyonesse2710 says:

    I’m most definitely an introvert! I don’t talk much unless I get started on a topic that fascinates me – and then you can’t shut me up! :D Great post, thoroughly enjoyed reading it!

  293. Mèo Lười Việt says:

    How a conversation with an introvert is depends on the person he/she talks with. If she/he meets the right person, he/she will talk a lot. But if that person isn’t suit him, actually there’s not much to talk between you and me. And introverts are sensitive and often have a keen sixth sense, so they can realize your motives soon. If you come to them with ill-intention they will shut you out of their world! :D

  294. s3aking says:

    Pretty much sums it up. Really thankful that I’m not the only one who sees the positive in introversion.

  295. Maggie says:

    I hate that society seems to see introversion as some kind of disease. I agree with everything you said in this post.

  296. Hi Sonya,
    I’m an introvert too and a coach. On MBTI I come out just in the extroversion scale but on the type II indicator where it talks about how you are not like your stated type I am fully an introvert and proud of it. Only being an introvert I don’t shout about it!
    I have learnt to do extroversion – it’s just after a time I need my own space. I am also a coach and trainer surrounded by all these extrovert people. I just seem to say less but more to the point. I love my introversion and wouldn’t want to be different. And as for the depression thing ——well you could argue that those extroverts are just so needy……..(tongue firmly in cheek)….

  297. iseekyoulord says:

    you have a good point there about introverts. I just thought that perhaps you’d be interested on the Four Temperaments of a Human Being introduced by Hippocrates. It really explained why some are introverts and why some are extroverts. Hear from you soon. :)

  298. Tristan says:

    Hell yeah! Introverts unite! Being quiet and thoughtful is a gift not a disadvantage in this twitter-talk-a-minute world. We wait to say what we really mean and mean what we say. No need for artificial talk. Great post!

  299. Wow I’m glad I’m not the only who feels the same way! This is exactly how I feel!

  300. bones1304 says:

    I -love- your post! I took a psychology class back in college and I loved it. We did the MBTI assessment and that was when I found out I was an INFP. I found an online test, and when I did it I got INFP again. At least I haven’t changed! If anyone is curious here is the link: and I look up the personality type on Wikipedia because I think they define things the best, but that is my opinion.

  301. Carl Jung defined the introversion and extroversion not by how people behave but by where people seek psychic nourishment. As an extrovert, one is drawn toward other people and high-stimulus external situations. Introverts find more satisfaction in quiet introspection and solitude. So, while I may appear on occasion bubbly and sociable, that’s not the factor that will determine my personality type. My confidence and social aptitude don’t make me any less of an introvert. I’m proud to be self-sufficient!

    • charoglez says:

      I identified with theses words of yours:” …while I may appear on occasion bubbly and sociable,….. .(these others, not so much describe me)… my social aptitude don’t make me any less of an introvert…”. I don’t find myself confident enough and self-sufficient, I fear!
      I need to get stimulus from external situations, but during the week, I have enough of soc ializing at work – there’s more than enough obliged work relation and also chatting around in my office. It drains my energy and then I can keep being sociable for the rest of the day. And at the weekend I need to see people, but with about 3 hours, I have enoguh!
      So, I’m not quite sure in which sterotype I may fit. – I really do not know at this point if what I really am is a neurotic, hahahaha!

  302. Julie says:

    My Myers Briggs type is ISTJ, and I, too, am an introvert. To echo the thoughts in your post, I’ll just add that a very wise person once told me that an extrovert gets their energy from other people, and an introvert gets their energy from themselves. I choose to spend a lot of time alone, and I’m rarely bored.

  303. ersantana says:

    amazing post!
    it changed my way of thinking. i’m the kind of person that’s shy according to the first meaning that you said you took from the dictionary. i’m aware it’s a flaw and i’m willing to change it. after reading this post i realized that it’s okay to be introvert and i’ll now focus on eliminating the sense of intimidation i feel over other people. i was trying to resolve my problem by being extrovert, now thanks to you i know that trying to be extrovert will only generate my self displeasure.
    again, thanks. :D

  304. This made my day! Thank you for clarifying and redefining what it means to be an introvert. I can now be proud of something that I used to consider a weakness. Congrats on being FP!

  305. lilthechic says:

    Hi Sonya! I am Ade, and I am an Introvert too!

    I have been often misunderstood and frankly, it is super exhausting and very annoying!
    Cause I would rather go to a museum instead of heading to a club automatically makes me a spoil sport. If I choose to bury my head in a novel instead of playing video games makes me a bore.

    Gosh it is so unfair!!!
    People need to stop treating me like I have a disease or something!

    AArrrh!! That felt good to vent. I’m re blogging this.

  306. pfatles says:

    awesome piece….
    your in the Personality

  307. This was so refreshing to read! I am an introvert; but I am not shy. Just like you I don’t like talking for the sake of it, silence is golden- I hate small talk! I also love my own company- I don’t get bored or lonely as I can entertain myself. So why are we made out to be poor, wretched, unhappy souls?! Thanks Sonya for making me feel proud of living in my head rather than out of my mouth!

  308. Ya hit it on the head, Mama! Thanx, Switch, ENTJ

  309. hawleywood40 says:

    Wow – I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many comments to a post! We introverts sure come out of the woodwork when we can type it out instead of talking! : ).

    Love this post. I’m an introvert. To be exact, MBTI would call me an INFP. But really, the only difference I see between me and my extroverted friends is that:
    - we both might enjoy certain types of social interaction. Afterwards, though, I am drained and need to re-charge. They are all fired up by all that interaction and ready to go.
    - when left alone, I will find a million and one things to do and be happy as a clam. When left alone, my extroverted buddies might enjoy it for a little while, but will soon be picking up the phone looking for company.

    It all boils down to what energizes versus drains you, and how you choose to recharge.

    That said, I do kinda understand why people put out survival guides for introverts. Its an extroverted world most of us have to live and work in. Most extroverts can easily find the interaction they need to keep them charged. Sometimes life and work make getting that reflective time we introverts need to do the same a little tougher.

    Or maybe I just feel that way because I’m in the middle of a workweek full of meetings : ).

  310. That Monday morning conversation sounds just like something I would say! :) I frequently have to remind myself that other people actually enjoy chit chatting and that silence makes them uncomfortable. If you are interested in a different perspective on personality types, I recommend reading about the Enneagram and its 9 personality types.

  311. Pasted this as my Facebook status with the instructions: “Read this. Then leave me alone.” Thanks!

  312. Donna says:

    I’m an introvert too and it’s crazy because I’m the only one in a family full of extroverts. They don’t understand it and often take it that I don’t like something or that I’m mad. I want to send them all a copy of your post because you summed it up very nicely!!!

    Congrats on Fresh Pressed!

  313. jackiesampieri says:

    introvert here…i like it…ima repost it :)

  314. Hear, Hear!!! You go and represent us introverts on the worldwide web ;-)

  315. muirnin says:

    “Hi, Sonya!”

    “I would want to meet those chix in a dark alley somewhere and drop-kick them.” HA!! Thank you for being one of those quiet introverts who speaks up with such an entertaining post. I ended up falling into theatre and teaching and really enjoy it, but had to learn “extrovert” skills in order to survive there. it’s one of those things where your skills set and personality just don’t line up quite right. I’ve taken the MBTI a couple of times with pretty much the same results every time (INFP or INTP), and maybe it was just that our session leader was really helpful in explaining how the test worked and what the different outcomes meant, but I found the experience liberating. We learned that these were general tendencies rather than set-in-stone traits, and the purpose was not to “label” ourselves but rather describe our innate personality and ways that we’d tried to live outside of that or try to be something else (like me trying to be an extrovert).

    It might have also been that we took it in a work environment where the focus was team-building and getting people into roles where their strengths would be maximized, but that was the message I took away from MBTI.

  316. Hi, I stumbled upon this post and it made me smile. Years ago I endured an MBTI test and was labelled a non ‘completer finisher! I then spent 3 months finishing nothing as I believed everything that it told me. I have to say, my manager wasn’t too happy! Anyway, I hold no weight now to the ‘personality tests’ as they tend to be very general yet attempt to box people into a ‘type’. I’m a training consultant by trade and use the IWAM (Inventory for Work Attitude Motivators) for any kind of psychometrics that I run. This provides the person with their ‘filters’ when it comes to work only and highlights motivators or potential de-motivators when it comes to work. The profile is based on the NLP Meta Programmes and ‘introvert’ would be translated as ‘internal’. I would describe this as someone who is capable of making decisions, can think for themselves and doesn’t need to have external feedback on a constant basis. This doesn’t mean that you can’t or don’t need feedback, rather you know what you know and you also know when you don’t know and how to ask!
    Cheers for the post!


  317. Marc says:

    Love this post, and cycling through some of the comments, they are spot on. Just because someone chooses not to run off at the mouth at any available time doesn’t mean they have “bad people skills” Us introverts get a bad rap.

    Why does everyone have to be either one or the other? There are some times and places in which one can clam up around other people, while in others they open up. I like to consider myself a situational introvert. Ha. Great post.

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  319. etomczyk says:

    You are a riot! I took a Personalysis test once. It said that the foolishiness of people are tolerable to me when times are good, but when chaos reigns, I’m all systems, processes, and drive — other people should help with a solution or else run for cover. It made me smile.

    Check out my introvert antics on my storyteller blog:

  320. AJD says:

    You know, it was only recently that I figured out that there really was a difference between those who are shy and those who are introverted. I’d never thought about it before. I used to be both. I truly did hide from people when I was a little kid. But now I’ve worked hard at getting myself out of that stage, and can say, yes, I’m an introvert, and that’s it.

    It’s akward at a family gathering when family asks me how things are going and I don’t have much to say beyond “It’s going.” But it’s the truth. I have nothing further to say. But, sometimes, I can talk someone’s ear off all night long!

    Yeah, it’s rough being an introvert with a coworker who’s not. We work with the public on a daily basis, and she expects a lot from me that would be simple and easy for an extrovert, but for me, it’s more difficult. That’s just the way it is. Until I get to know someone I might not say a word to you.

    So, yeah, your post explains me exactly! Thanks for writing it!

  321. Random says:

    I’m an introvert and I endorse your message!

    I think because extroverts are in the majority (according to Myers-Briggs), many times they view introverts as the outsiders or something. And, of course, there are those who just aren’t comfortable with silence.

    I hate it when someone tries to “fix” my introversion. I kinda think it would be better if there were more of us, but I could be slightly biased.

    Thank you for doing your part in setting the record straight!

  322. Noel says:

    I AM AN INTROVERT TOO !!!! I talk less, listen more (although I am a little ADD), enjoy silence, and reflect a lot. I don’t tend to be the center of attention, but I can be with a lot of effort. I am also Left handed and artistic, by the way. Good post!

  323. Camille Perkins says:

    I’m an introvert too and have been accused of being shy as well; I’m essentially introspective and a deep thinker. I consider it to be a good thing, though. It’s not like I’m doomed to stay friends with someone because I have no one else to talk to; I can make new ones if need be (nowadays, usually as a friend of a friend). The few close friends I have, I’ve chosen wisely and patiently and wouldn’t trade that for being a social butterfly; and they know me well enough that when I trust someone I relax more and open up. And I totally agree with not talking just to say something. The only downside is I can only talk to so many friends (about 4) before I am tired for the day.

  324. The Mouse says:

    Amen! and Hallelujah! I am also deemed an introvert and very happy about it thank you very much.

  325. Sapna says:

    Super like!!! :)

  326. jenclaude says:

    Love, love, loved this post. Especially the ‘Don’t take my kindness for weakness’ comment! (:

  327. noahgaines says:

    Thanks for this post. I think it’s the responsibility of everyone to know who you’re living life with, and it is due to posts like this that we can progress in that direction. As an introvert who tried to be an extrovert, realized his mistake, and returned to introvert, I identify with this completely. It is not shame unto the person who desires little in the way of conversation, for if they use that skill of listening, they can be far more informed than the person who would continue talking till the sun went down. Keep up the great insights.

  328. leena says:

    I’ve just realized that i’m not an introvert person at all. But I’m not sure, whether I ‘m extrovert. But there’s one thing that i’m very sure of. I’m so talkative that I always say more words than “it was very good, thanks.” :-)

  329. curiousgirl says:

    Thanks for posting this. It really helped me see that there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert. I used to hate people for telling me I’m quiet and I tried very hard to be more “loud. ” The moat challenging thing though that my mom forces me to more extraverted and she doesn’t understand that I need to spend more time alone. That may explain why I draw and read so much. And I dislike people who talk just for that sake of talking. Well anyway thanks for telling people it’s normal to be an introvert.

  330. What is even more fun is when you are an introvert, everyone knows it, and pulls you out of the crowd over it. Two years ago when I was in high school and in Health class, the teacher was discussing extroverts and introverts. Obviously she picked out a very outgoing prep as the extrovert and picked me out as the introvert. Way to bring attention to me, thanks. I am just as content alone and by myself (quiet time is awesome time) as I am amongst a group of people. I guess some people just don’t see things the way that I do that because I am just different than they are. I love this post, by the way!

  331. I have a smashing personality, but I, too, am an introvert. Dang proud of it, too! It’s not a bad thing at all, and it takes both introverts and extroverts to balance the world.

    All is well.
    Congrats on FP!

  332. lol yes this sounds familiar. I notice that people often ask me how my weekend was because they’re waiting for me to ask them, which is probably loaded with extraneous details. When I’m around people who know me and I don’t do a “reciprocal” question, they give an answer anyway, even though I didn’t ask lol

  333. Ann Patrick says:

    Found you on the Freshly Pressed Page and I totally enjoyed your description of the introvert – meaning me but I have to add shy to mine so sometimes I add the panic attack to the above routine. It so helps to know who we are and why we do what we do.

  334. Sasha says:

    Considering that “How to care for Introverts” exists I wouldn’t be too much surprised if your health insurance plan covers introversion :) Thanks for writing this post.

  335. t says:

    And just like that, my eyes are opened to a new possibility!

    For years, i was so ashamed of my introversion that i actually faked being an extrovert in an effort to “overcome” it. Thanks for reminding me (in a very well-versed fashion i might add) that it is quite alright to self-generate energy.

    Oh, and *hugs!*

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  337. Amber's Attic says:

    This is GREAT! I re-posted it because I liked it so much…hope you don’t mind ;)


  338. trialsinfood says:

    lol. you read my mind. :)

  339. Randy says:

    What a terrific post! I feel as if I’ve found my lost family… You mean there are others out there like me? :-)

  340. Chris Sharpe says:

    Thanks for this, right on target, every word! A company I worked for did a psych evaluation on the entire staff; I was described as a “borderline recluse.” I’ve been this way pretty much all my life, and after some introspection (something us introverts are good at?) I know why. As a youngster my “outsider” status niggled me a bit. But now that I’m way past my prime I care less and less! Being a loner makes complete sense to me now. As you say in your blog, I’m neither anti-social nor shy, nor intimidated by others (far from it). I don’t even dislike people! In fact if truth were told I get utmost pleasure from helping people. (Isn’t that we ALL do for a living, ultimately?) However, I feel as if I have very little in common with the overwhelming majority. (Nice to find a minority here, thank you!) However, I neither like nor respect the human being as a species, and I think that’s what pushes me from mere introvert to wannabe recluse!

  341. Brilliant! I love how our society has made introverts into some sort of sick group of people with no social skills. Anyone notice that when introverts speak, their thoughts are deep and important and contain tons of value and insight…?

  342. lindayoga says:

    HAHA!!! Love it!!
    Thanks for your wonderful post;)

  343. topiclessbar says:

    If all us introverts united, wouldn’t that sort of make us extroverts?

    Great post – congrats on getting freshly pressed.

  344. “That was an awesome post!” — from an extrovert tryina follow your introvert guideline!

  345. Well explained. Should be mandatory reading for “Exxx” types.

    (I’m a Male INTJ, by the way).

  346. *hurriedly stands up. Excitedly waves arms in air.*
    “Woohoo! Me! I’m an introvert!”

    I really like this post! I guess you’ve figured that out with all of these comments! In true introvert fashion i’m not going to repeat everything that’s just been said…

    I’m simply going to pop in and say hello and let u know how much I loved this post…

    “Wait. Does that make me an extrovert?” ;)

  347. Afsal Ismail says:

    This post perfectly sums it all up. I was having a conversation with my friend last night because sometimes I feel a little doubtful that I can be successful in the business field with an introverted personality.
    Technically speaking, while I was at my internship I didn’t feel “uncomfortable” in the environment so to speak. There was just this doubt in the back of my mind. When an extroverted person talked to me I kind of felt inferior with my limited ability to carry on the conversation.
    You know, as you said, it a society thing. It’s been made to seem like being introverted is a disease or something and thus, I’m slightly paranoid.

    • T.Turner says:

      Hi! I had to respond to you because I can totally relate to what you described. Honestly, I think the best thing is to own your introversion. Seriously. Once you have that self-acceptance and understanding of who you are none of that other stuff will faze you anymore. No matter who you’re around. Confidence translates through any personality type, and people anywhere will notice that…even in the business world. Free yourself of preconceived notions. You will definitely be fine!

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  349. Miranda says:

    Too funny! Sometimes I feel as though I come across as abrasive because I too like to get to the point. Short, to-the-point answers and following, lingering silences are my specialty. It takes me a while to remember that other people may find this odd.

    Oh well!

  350. T.Turner says:

    I’m about to mention this link in my blog when I write a post today! Yesterday I posted something where I mentioned The Thinker and introversion too and it made me think of think of this article, so I HAVE to bring it up! haha…As someone who has been criticized for my introversion at times, I am so happy that you have written this. There ARE many people who do see it as a problem, or something like a behavioral or psychological disorder. When in actuality, if knowledge serves me right, shyness is what is considered more of a disorder not introversion. It’s so easy to confuse the two unfortunately. Extroverts are highly favored while introverts are often misunderstood. Like most things in life, there are ups and downs to being either an extrovert or introvert…neither one is better than the other, they’re just different! There are traits to appreciate about both. There are many introverts with extroverted tendencies, especially when they’re in their element. I’m definitely that way! When I’m around people that I know and feel comfortable with, I’m totally goofy and alive. But it doesn’t happen right away, it takes time to get there in most cases.

    For all of my fellow introverts out there, please take pride! It’s all good, just keep being yourself! You can be an introvert and still have a fulfilling life/career. Just remember there’s also nothing wrong with stepping outside of your own head once and a while!

  351. wordsfallfrommyeyes says:

    Being an introvert isn’t an ailment I don’t think. It’s just a style of person, & if it suits you – enjoy being you! I used to be an extrovert WHEN DRUNK. But only then.

  352. Yeah, I had the same problem growing up. I force myself to be more “extroverted” in some situations but as a child my mom’s friends used to think I was stuck-up just because I was quiet.

  353. Your post was the light turning on in the kitchen, making all the cockroach extroverts scramble for cover. I have a suspicion that some “extroverts” are actually introverts trying to pass as extroverts. You can tell because they’re the ones babbling on about nothing but refusing to be silent.

  354. bp4g3 says:

    I’m definitely an introvert myself. I found out in a good meeting last year that the value of introverts has started to become more apparent in the business world and in the military. Here’s a good article I found on the topic if you have the time.

  355. chrstn says:

    Hi Sonya! I like this post. I’m only a kid but I know that I’m an introvert because we took personality tests every year when I was in high school. I was quite surprised, though, when I took the test as a Junior because after 2 years of getting a sanguine result, I got a melancholic. I didn’t know people could change their personalities. Sometimes I can get so skeptical, and I think a lot, but I am really happy to know I am not alone. :-)

  356. sidhu89 says:

    2) I’m afraid of/intimidated by you. Similar to the saying, “Don’t take my kindness for weakness”, please “Don’t take my quietness for fear.”

    this is exactly what i want to tell others
    thanx a lot for sharing

  357. seabeegirl says:

    Introvert, here. Since I am disinclined to talk much right now, you extroverts will have to be satisfied with stalking me on WP, FB or whatever. It’s 1:15am. I am going to bed.

  358. tcobe says:

    Fellow introvert! And sick of apologizing for it: “I’m sorry, I don’t want to go to your party” or “I’m sorry, I’m really not up to going to the game today”.
    And extroverts, for the most part, just don’t understand! Bless their hearts, it’s not their fault they are programmed differently, but don’t make me feel guilty for wanting to be alone!
    I’m wondering if I’m not alone though – it takes so much effort for me to go hang out, especially at parties, and especially at night! Is this classic introvert behavior or am I really weird? :)

  359. Pingback: Introverts vs. Extroverts: It’s Time to Set the Record Straight (via Magnet for Foolishness) | Actuaria's Blog

  360. Shaneice says:

    Based on your 3 examples as an introvert, I’d say I’d fit right in that.
    Sometimes, it’s just fine to not want to have to ask the next oerson about their trip to Mt. Whatever. I’m good being quiet, to my self and surrounded by peace. Booyow!

  361. sbrown365 says:

    Ahhh! This post is great! You did an amazing job of putting into words the very things I want people to know about me! Most think I’m snobbish & never take the time to get to know me, but those who do find that I am a great friend and worth the effort! :)

  362. Natty Kuume says:

    Wow! Great post, enjoyed it very much. All so-called extroverts should read this. I also enjoyed Adam’s ( comments above on the issue of either/or of the MBTI personality assessment. Life is not always that simple. I wrote a short article that touched on that entitled: False Negatives and Absolute Opposite Thinkers (

    Mind if I re-blog this?

  363. Natty Kuume says:

    Reblogged this on Nutty thoughts and commented:
    I couldn’t have said it better myself…

  364. Vinny Salamiotta says:

    Being labeled as an extravert or introvert sometimes becomes another form of prejudice because of how people interpret it in a manner that is not good. But YES, I am clearly an INTROVERT and always will be. So how did I ever become a pharmaceutical sales rep working for companies like Johnson & Johnson? Aren’t sales supposed to attract only extraverts? NO, not if you are your self, and I was more successful than some of these so-called talk-about-themselves-all-time EXTROVERTS. Why? maybe it is because actions speak louder than words! In the grand scheme of things, who cares if someone is an extravert or an introvert – as long as you are happy with yourself. Just be yourself!

  365. t.on.air says:

    Ha! Thanks for this post. I’m an introvert to and I know exactly what you mean! Keep up the good work!

  366. Elisabeth says:

    As an extrovert, I don’t mind that introverts recharge differently than extroverts. What I do mind is when I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around y’all because I might disturb you when I talk to you. Just try to be kind in social settings. Understand that us extroverts aren’t trying to be rude to you, we like to get to know you.

    • Claire says:

      Hi Elisabeth. I’m an introvert but I can only speak for myself in reply to your comment, as obviously everyone is different. So this is just my opinion. I personally hate talking about myself, which is apparently very common for a lot of introverts, especially at work. I’m not particularly shy in that environment but in general, I don’t like to be focussed on. I have no problem with work queries as that is what I am there to do, and I am always genuinely polite and happy to help. People shouldn’t feel like they have to walk on eggshells with me when it comes to approaching me about work. However, if they know that I am not comfortable with personal chat, then I think that they should respect that. I know they are only being friendly but it can make introverts extremely uncomfortable, and in my case, it makes me lose concentration which can then lead to me making mistakes. I hope this has given you a little more insight into the workings of an introverted mind . :-) x

  367. Claire says:

    Hi Elisabeth. I’m an introvert but I can only speak for myself in reply to your comment, as obviously everyone is different. So this is just my opinion. I personally hate talking about myself, which is apparently very common for a lot of introverts, especially at work. I’m not particularly shy in that environment but in general, I don’t like to be focussed on. I have no problem with work queries as that is what I am there to do, and I am always genuinely polite and happy to help. People shouldn’t feel like they have to walk on eggshells with me when it comes to approaching me about work. However, if they know that I am not comfortable with personal chat, then I think that they should respect that. I know they are only being friendly but it can make introverts extremely uncomfortable, and in my case, it makes me lose concentration which can then lead to me making mistakes. I hope this has given you a little more insight into the workings of an introverted mind. :-) x

  368. Claire says:

    Oops! Apologies for the double post! This introvert obviously needs to go to bed and recharge! :-)

  369. Liesel says:

    Just came across this today. Many people believe me to be an extrovert – that’s how I operate when with others. What I have not appreciated is the silent loathing and judging that I have experienced from self-labelled introverts (it is not as sneaky as some might think). By the sounds of it, there has been a lot of silent loathing and judging going on by those who have commented on this post. Those who look like extroverts should not be rude or inconsiderate by being obnoxious. Those who look like introverts should not be rude or inconsiderate by refusing to interact. Both should celebrate the strengths that others have and communicate effectively. Personally, I value a deep conversation, meditation, and solitude. They add to my character.

  370. MSchultz says:

    This article was so great I actually decided to post here and thank you for outlining in a very simple, easy-to-understand way what it means to be an introvert!

  371. I’m so happy (and surprised!) that this blog post continues to increase the dialogue between introverts and extroverts…even 8 months later!

  372. ashleyzee says:

    This post is so ME! I couldn’t agree more with each point you made. I’ve had people ask me, “Do you talk?” Next time that happens, i’ll have to pretend I’m mute and see what kind of response I get! lol. But I love the post. Makes me feel so much better knowing other people experience the EXACT same things that I do. I think introverts are cool :-)

  373. Jennifer says:

    Though in class, the few times I speak up, all the other kids are too loud for anyone to hear me. Too bad huh?
    When the teacher does hear me though, they usually think what I said was very smart and well thought out.

  374. Angela says:

    I never wanted to admit veibg in introvert since extroverts seemed more fun and normal but it isn’t. We are not antisocial, intimidated or scared like the article says. I do feel like bring alone what is wrong with that? Yet I do have a best friend I can’t live without I admit I push her away but when we hangout I feel good because social interaction is healthy. Good things about extras and intros are that they feel drawn together because in different ways they feel more complete.

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